Coronation Street Weekly Update, December 15

Greetings and welcome to the last weekly update of 2008. I’ll not be here next week because there’s summat going on. Big fat fella, beard, tinsel, keeping the gin from Aunty Maude, all that sort of stuff. But I will be back between Chrimbo and the New Year with a festive round up of events on the cobbles so there’s something to look forward to after the disappointment you’ll receive when you don’t get the presents you hoped for. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

Over in the Rovers, Steve’s Bad Boyfriend Operation steps up another gear. Last week he was unshaven and unkempt and this week he’s playing miserly Scrooge.

John Thomson joins the Corrie cast this week as General Custard, the children’s entertainer, who Steve’s booked to entertain Amy and the kids at a party in the pub. General Custard, who’s really called Jesse (as in “James”, not as in “a right big”) is distraught as he’s just split up from his wife, who played the other half of his cowboy act, Hia-Lowa. As Steve comforts and cuddles Jesse, who’s still wearing his cowboy outfit, at the bar as he bawls about his missus, Eileen comes in to see what’s going on. “What’s this?” she asks, in the best line of the week. “A street theatre production of Brokeback Mountain?” Anyway, it’s all a ploy for Jesse and Eileen to get together as she takes on the challenge to become the new Hia-Lowa. Wearing a long black wig Eileen looked just like a long lost member of the Cherokee Connor clan. All this Hia-Lowa business was quite funny. “They’ll all be saying it in the pub downstairs, later,” says Jesse to Steve. Never mind the pub. When Carla Gordon came on screen later to greet Tony with a cheery “Hiya! to her new husband, I can’t have been the only Corrie fan to shout back at the telly. “Lowa!”. I can’t, can I?

Maria’s a woman possessed with finding the truth and witters on to anyone who’ll listen. I know, she did it last week too, but this week she did it in a nasty dressing gown. Carla and Tony return from honeymoon and Tony calls round to see Maria after he listens to her rants on his mobile phone accusing him of murdering Liam. He doesn’t deny it and offers her a million quid to keep schtum but as everyone now thinks Maria is nuts no-one believes her when she tells them the truth. She then reports the murder to the police while Tony sits in his car fingering a leather belt with strangulous (I know that’s not a real word, I just made it up) thoughts of murdering Maria. The thing is with Tony Gordon, he’s not that frightening, he just looks a bit daft.

Elsewhere this week, Tyrone suffers a minging birthday when Molly wants nothing to do with him after she found out he’d been lying to her about going to the gym when he was on the scam with Pam. Tyrone can’t keep his mind on the job at work and gets marriage counselling from marriage expert Kevin Webster who drags him to the pub for a pint.

Another new arrival this week was Eileen’s dad, Colin Postlethwaite. With Elvis’ Hound Dog as his mobile phone ringtone and an eye for the ladies, Rita in particular, Colin could be good fun. It’s clear he likes a drink or two, does Colin, and after Eileen’s fed up waiting for him to come home for dinner, she takes dinner to him in the pub, dumps it on the bar counter and covers it in salt. It’s been a good long few years since that happened in Corrie, it seems just like the sort of thing that Hilda did to Stan.

Over at Roy’s Rolls, Hayley and Roy are planning to open up on Christmas Day to feed the homeless of Weatherfield. Hayley reckons it’ll be the best thing to happen to her at Christmas apart from getting a kiss from Roy under the mistletoe. I swear Roy blushed when he heard this.

At Emily’s, Norris and Mary grow closer while Jed Stone worries about Sunny Jim, his missing cat.

And finally this week, it was great to see Steve and Eileen carrying on that great Coronation Street taxi-cab tradition of making paperchains in the Streetcars office.

And that’s just about that for this week. I hope every single reader has a wonderful Christmas. I’ll be back before the New Year with a bumper edition update covering all of the Christmas events on Coronation Street. Cheers, everyone!

Coronation Street writers this week were Simon Crowther, Chris Fewtrell, Julie Jones and David Lane.

Glenda
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