Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Monday 8 September 2008

Coronation Street Weekly Update, September 8 2008

Hello folks, before I start this week I’ve got news to share. Dedicated Corrie fans will be aware of a Coronation Street novel which covers events on the cobbles from 1960 to 2003. That book was written by Katherine Hardy. Well, the book has just been updated to include storylines from 2003 to the present day and is in the shops now. You might remember I took a break from writing weekly updates this summer as I was engaged on projects elsewhere. I can now reveal that I was asked to update Katherine Hardy’s novel and if you buy the book you’ll see my name in print on one of the inside pages (if you squint hard enough and use a magnifying glass). The book’s called Coronation Street: The Complete Saga and is available in bookshops, from the publisher’s website at Carlton Books and of course Amazon and the usual discount websites. If anyone buys it, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing the last five years worth of top Corrie stories.

More news before I start is that I’m going on my summer jollies this week. While I’m away John Dean and Richard Whitbread will be here making a nuisance of themselves for your reading pleasure.

If you’re reading this update on the Coronation Street blog, you might like to sign up to receive the weekly updates by email while I’m away as the updates won’t be posted to this blog, just to the email list and to the Corrie Google Group. I’ll be back in three week’s time, all tanned and lovely. And so without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

As Emily knits legwarmers for the church pilates class, Norris rifles through her drawers and finds racy photos of Rita. What’s to do? Was Ernest taking saucy snaps of Rita all those years ago? And if so, why has Emily kept them in an envelope marked “Not to be opened until after my death”? He tells Rita what he’s found because Norris can never keep owt to himself and Rita wants to tell Emily but she can’t bring herself to talk about it for fear of upsetting her friend. Rita and Norris have a big falling out in the Kabin and Norris throbs with guilt. The three of them have a pow wow at Emily’s over the tea-pot as she demands to know what’s going on but Rita’s still unable to tell her what Norris has found.

Over in Roy’s Rolls there’s a couple of bad ‘uns in the caff. You know they’re bad ‘uns ‘cos one of them’s got a beard and both are unshaven. They’re two nasty fellas and Vernon brandishes an iced finger at them, from behind the safety of the serving counter, of course. When Roy asks them to go, they leave a mobile phone behind. Roy picks up the phone and tries to get a signal outside on the Street so he can find out whose phone it is, do the right thing and return it. But as he waves the phone around, there’s a couple of cops in a car taking photos of Roy, assuming him to be a friend of the bad ‘uns they were keeping an eye on. What? No Scouse cop? Anyway, all this rigmarole is a set up for Roy and Ken to get arrested as suspected drug dealers. Roy’s bag is taken in as evidence and Ken’s quizzed too. “I bet you keep your pitbull terrier at home,” the cops tell Ken, which was a cruel way to refer to Deirdre, I thought. But guess who comes to Roy and Ken’s aid? Who gets them out of clink? Becky Grainger, no less. Who needs Wonder Woman when we’ve got Barmcake Becky? Roy’s upset when the cops give him his anorak and shopping bag back, both are torn and he dumps his famous bag in a bin. Not the bag! Not the bag! And Becky only goes and buys him a replacement. This was such a sweet moment. Roy was touched, I was choked and Becky gets her job back in Roy’s Rolls.

In the corner shop, Amber does up Dev’s cufflinks as he prepares to shop for soft furnishings with Nina. “How are you?” he drools as Nina comes into the shop. “Scintillating, thank you,” she replies. I love this woman’s dialogue but Dev’s ardour is dampened when Nina tells him that she’s off to London to look after her daughter Tara. Dev’s face drops as his soft furnishing shopping goes out of the window. “But… the cushions, curtains, pouffes,” he bleats. “All on hold,” she replies as she wafts out of the shop.

Sean’s in a state as Marcus leaves the Street. Yes, it’s another tearful farewell, another hug on the cobbles as another one leaves in a taxi. Marcus claims Sean’s too needy and pleady (he is) although Sean does his best to come on to Liam’s cousin Tom. Tom swears he’s not gay and turns Sean down but there’s a look in his eyes that says there just might be summat soon between Sean and Tom.

Mind you, cousin Tom’s got worries when his LadsRags business with Liam gets turned down for a bank loan. The company could be onto a winner with an exclusive contract from All American Booty (don’t ask me, I just write the update) who sell t-shirts for men. Just remember, guys: LadsRags, because you’re worth it. Tom doesn’t tell Liam the bad news about the loan, he just goes to Carla Connor and asks her to invest. It was like a bad episode of Dragons’ Den. “I’ll offer you tuppence-ha’penny for 99.9% of your business. Deal or No Deal?” Carla could have purred. It’s a deal, of course and one that Liam’s all a fluster about when he finds out. Carla doesn’t want evil Tony to know about this new business partnership and Liam doesn’t want Maria to know so there’ll be lots of secret meetings between the pair of them, Carla reminds Liam as he leaves her flat in a state. Now then, I don’t know about Carla Connor. Most women like to come in from work, shower off the day, change clothes and slip into something more comfortable. You can picture it, can’t you? Trackysuit bottoms, fleece socks, oatmeal face-pack and a Bay City Rollers t-shirt. But not Carla Connor, no. She cooks spag bol in her designer finery and bling. Hmm… maybe that’s where I’m going wrong?

Elsewhere, John Stape’s grandma Nell died this week leaving John upset and in need of some loving that Fiz is only too happy to give. She was once on 15 to 1, was grandma Nell, it was the most exciting afternoon of her life. “Must have had a dull life,” notes Lloyd. “Oooh yes, but she had a lovely little house,” muses Fiz.

And finally, Mel and Abi hit the town to celebrate Mel passing her policeladywoman exams but she ends up in a fight in the centre of town. She was trying to stop a gang of girls from fighting but the girls turn on Mel and Abi and Abi ends up in hospital with a detached retina after getting smashed on the head by a bottle of blue WKD by some loon wearing trackysuit bottoms, fleece socks, oatmeal face pack and a Bay City Rollers t-shirt. Fortunately, Abi’s taken to the same hospital where Jerry Morton’s in so Mel pops to see her dad for a cuddle and a cry while she’s there. Jerry gets sent home and does his best to fend off the poisonous Theresa who claims she’s there to see her kids and not to cook him curry with her special spices in.

Five things we learned in Corrie this week.

1. Liam Connor doesn’t like mushrooms
2. Aunty Pam knows where to buy novelty fish that sing in Japanese
3. Norris’ phone ringtone is Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries
4. Tyrone’s so skint, he’s selling his body to medical research
5. Julie likes to spend an hour in the bath with Dean Koontz

And that’s just about that for this week. Remeber, the Corrie weekly update won't be posted here on the blog for the next three weeks but it will still be written by other Corrie fans. Don't miss out on the Corrie weekly updates while I'm away. To receive the weekly update direct to your email while I'm away, click here (as they won't be blogged for three weeks).

Coronation Street writers this week were Jonathan Harvey, Martin Sterling, Damon Rochefort, Mark Burt and Simon Crowther.

Glenda Young
Blogging away merrily at

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