Coronation Street Weekly Update, November 23 2009

This week the update’s been making a list and checking it twice. And as all of its friends are both naughty and nice, Christmas shopping next weekend will be spent mainly in Selfridges lingerie department. I’m giving posh pants to them all. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

Cast your mind back to last week with Roy in the canal, floundering with only his shopping bag to keep him afloat, as evil Tony Gordon runs away. But hang on, what’s this, evil Tony Gordon stops his running, turns and runs back? Not only does he run back but he rescues Roy, saves his life and gives him the kiss of life. Roy recovers, as we all knew he would (and should) and Tony turns himself in at the cop shop. Tony’s gone from catalogue man to cold-blooded killer, as all good soap dudes do.

Meanwhile, Maria’s beside herself with grief when she finds out the truth about Tony killing Liam. Mammy and Barry Connor fly in from Ireland - Barry flew on RyanAir, Mammy came by broomstick. Maria dumps baby Liam on them, saying she can’t cope and the Connors offer to take her and the wee one to Ireland, and Maria agrees. Kirk pledges his support for Maria when he finds out she’s leaving for Ireland. “I’m never far away,” he tells her, which is a lie as he’s always on another planet. Just as Maria’s pulling herself together there’s a knock on the door. Maria opens it to find the face of Carla Connor, staring in at her. She’s clearly been Tangoed, has Carla. Carla lies to Maria, the cops and Leanne and says she didn’t know that Tony killed Liam but admitted that she once guessed he wasn’t that fond of bats.

Over at the Barlows’, there’s another tea party but alas, a distressing lack of cheese straws. Was I the only Corrie fan to bake some cheese straws after Deirdre’s disastrous attempt the other week? Oh, it was just me then. Be-ro do a foolproof recipe and Deirdre should take note. But anyway, this tea party’s for George and Eve to get to know the Barlows and Blanche decides that as there’s a new fella in the house, she’s going to do a bit of flirting. She plasters her face with make-up and then gets plastered on white wine, airing the Barlow dirty laundry: “Did you know Deidre’s an ex-con, Peter’s an ex-alcholic and Leanne’s an ex-prossie?” It’s just as well she kept quiet about Ken being an old f*rt although I suspect they’ll soon find that one out.

Gail puts her house up for sale when Joe tells her his debts have spiralled out of control. And the first person to look around the property is Joe’s loan shark, who’s got to be one of Corrie’s most evil fellas that it’s had in a long time. And what does Gail to do an evil fella with a sick, twisted mind? She invites him into her home with a smile on her face. The plan is to sell the house, pay off Joe’s debts, move into a small flat and live happily ever after. As this is Gail Platt, that plan ain’t ever gonna work.

Tedious storyline of the week involved Dev and Steve on a golf course where Dev bats his eyelashes at a lady golf coach called Bernie. It’s dull but I just hope it’s leading somewhere. However, the temptation to write a joke about Bernie playing around with Dev’s balls was too hard to overcome and so I just did.

And finally this week, Sally wants to know if Molly’s been fiddling with Kev. It’s the garage accounts that Sally worries about, as Molly and Kevin snuggle up in yet another nasty hotel room for yet another night of vomit-inducing passion in their seedy affair. As the couple go sub-duvet, both their phones ring and it’s Sally on the phone to them both, wanting to balance income and output. Kevin and Molly were hoping to do the same.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were Mark Wadlow, Lucy Gannon, Stephen Russell, Jonathan Harvey and Jayne Hollinson. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.

Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates

Glenda Young
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/

Picture: Graeme Proctor dragged up as Liz McDonald

It's been a long time since I laughed out loud at a Corrie promo photo. I've been trying to keep my stomach from heaving with all the recent Molly-Kev-Bed pictures and so this one comes as welcome light relief. It's Graeme Proctor dragged up as Liz McDonald in a 'Vicars and Liz' party that Teresa throws in the Rovers and we'll see it on screen next week. Fabulous.

Jimmi Harkishin in Dev's new shoes

Crikey, someone's getting organised for Corrie's 50th anniversary celebrations next year. It says here that Jimmi Harkishin, who plays Dev, has already bought his party shoes to celebrate Corrie's golden anniversary in 2010.

Jimmi picked up these brogues at NPS Shoes in Wollaston after a tour of the factory while collecting his specially-designed footwear which he'll wear for Corrie's 50th next year.

While Jimmi was on the factory tour, he promised to send signed photographs to anyone who asked for an autograph. And the next time fans will get to see the shoes – a black and white pair of brogues and a brown and cream pair – will be when Dev next wears a suit on the show.

Talking about shoes - which Corrie goddess wobbles on the cobbles wearing these?

Where have you seen Bernie before?

If you think Dev's new squeeze, Bernie the golf-pro looked familiar on Coronation Street last night, that's because she's been in Corrie before.

Bernie's played by actress Jennifer Hennessey who's played Policewoman DC Kay on the cobbles before. As DC Kay she investigated Natalie Horrocks' allegation that Sally Webster had deliberately left taps running in Natalie's bathroom, damaging the hall and stairs. And in 1999 she helped investigate Greg Kelly's attack on Sally Webster and Nick Tilsley.

This time around as Bernie the golf woman, it looks like she's going to get some of that good ol' fashioned Dev-lurve.

Sundry Expenses: Mon Nov 23, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Jayne Hollinson (7:30) and Jonathan Harvey (8:30), directed by Ian Bevitt

Sally is distracted from her hated towards Stape momentarily and has focused her attentions on Tony being a murderer and the books at the garage. Kevin has figured out a way to hide his and Molly's motel expenses as "sundry expenses." Kevin wants to sort the books before Sally gets her hands on them, but he's too late. Sally's seen the mess of the books and calls Kevin when he and Molly are at the motel and tells him to get home because he's got some explaining to do. Kevin figures he knows about Molly and decides to go home and face the music. Only, Kevin is slightly (only slightly) relieved that it's regarding the books and not his affair that Sally is upset over. Sally demands to know what "sundry" expenses are. Oh, Sally, you really don't want to know. Does Sally smell a rat?

Maria still refuses to be a mother to Liam, saying that she's unfit after letting a murderer into her home. The Connors think she needs support and offers to have her move in with them at their home in Ireland. Maria needs to think about it. After a heart to heart with Audrey, Maria realises she's been punishing herself for everything that's happened and is doing so by leaving the one thing she loves most in the world - baby Liam. Maria decides to take the Connors up on their offer to which they are delighted.

Just as things start to look up, Maria gets an unexpected visit from Carla. Carla doesn't know what's happened with Tony (besides what we know she knows), and is shocked when Maria fills her in and tells her that Tony's confessed to Liam's murder and is currently in jail. Carla herself has been summoned to the police station for question in regards, and seems nervous, but answers all the questions, sticking to her story. The detective seems slightly suspicious of Carla, but lets her go. Carla leaves the police station in tears.

Roy has become a complete shut-in after his traumatic brush with death. He says he'll get out and go back to life, but on his own time. Just let the man be, it's only been a couple days. Next call he gets from the Bat Conservation Society, he'll be back up on his feet. Becky is over at the Croppers again for support, but she also looks quite thoughtful or worried about something. Could there really be trouble in paradise?

Audrey finds out about Gail's engagement and her putting her house up for sale. Needless to say, Audrey's not happy about it one bit and boils it all down to Joe being a leech. Well, that really is the case, but Gail is a grown woman and can make her own decisions.

Audrey has more important things to worry about than Gail, since she's received a courtesy invite to the Weatherfield Council Christmas Party. It's only the event of the season. She's also asked Norris to accompany her, to which I find rather confusing. Since when are she and he friends?

Dev has started golf lessons and it would appear that his golf instructor is a woman, not an old chap as I'm sure he'd imagined. In typical Dev fashion, he hits on her by asking her for drinks. Bernie, her name is, says she prefers a pint so Dev of course knows the perfect place. When at the Rovers, it's obvious Steve recognizes Bernie, whom Dev claims is his solicitor. When Dev is in the loo, Steve sidles over to Bernie and asks how long Dev's been taking lessons. Bernie tells him it's been not as long as he has. Haha.

HIGHLIGHTS:
- Helen's acid tongue in action towards Carla. Normally I can't stand her acidity, but tonight I enjoyed it for some reason!
- Audrey's heart-to-heart talk with Maria. Audrey's so well versed on life and love. Too bad Gail can't take advantage.
- Maria moving to Ireland! She really should, it'd be nice since her parents haven't offered to help at all. Too concerned with the donkeys I guess. Maria needs a fresh start away from the street. It occurred to me that a lot of characters do. (Ahem, Gail)
- Becky trying to cheer Roy up with her "Darling Buds of May" anecdote about how they'd always say "perfick" instead of "perfect." Kind of cute, although Becky did seem off in thoughts.
- Gail accusing Audrey of being "pursed lips and grimace" as she assumed she'd be when hearing of Gail's news. Haha.
- Gail and her immaturity. Normally, I'd frown upon this, but it was so ridiculous I had to laugh.
- Dev, once again, making a fool of himself to a woman. Bernie, the golf pro.

LOWLIGHTS:
- Rosie thinking that the worst part about the Tony-Murder-Scandal is how close she came to death in that hotel room with him. Well, that's always a risk you take when you try to seduce strange old men in hotel rooms, after all. Rosie then wondering if her showing Tony the videotape of Liam and Carla is what drove Tony to kill Liam. Actually, it's EXACTLY what caused it. Rosie is such a problem!
- Kev's close-call with Sally!!! I love how he just decided he'll "have to face the music", almost like he wanted to.
- Poor Sally trying to fix the books and do right with Kevin playing around on her!
- Carla's dramatic return. I don't care about her involvement in the Tony-Murder-Scandal at this point. I only like her as the iron butterfly factory boss!
- Carla's face when she saw baby Liam. Like her heart was broken. Oh, drama queen!
- Carla and Maria embracing in the most insincere forced looking hug EVER.
- Ben making a comment about Michelle to Ryan on how "strong and noble" she is, whilst looking at her backside. Only to foreshadow nasty things to come. Barf.

For those who enjoy the scenic route, check out the full review scene-by-scene here.

A few thoughts on Friday 20th November's episodes

A few thoughts before we start on this week's Corrie - I am always late. I'll be late to my own funeral, me. I have some scrawled notes so in no particular order:

- I liked Michelle crying saying that she'd have to look after the family, because it's true. I really felt for her. She's lost both brothers as well as a husband, and no one seems to care about the poor woman.

- Sean does not look good in orange. It shows up his tan too much.

- I am sick to death of Samia Smith's baby bump issues so I'm really glad she's just told Ma and Pa Connor that she'll go to Ireland with them.

- I felt really sorry for Ryan Connor. He's a good actor, that kid.

- I loveloveloved Becky's peace sign earrings. So her.

- I am sick to death of the loan shark issues and am wondering what the point of Joe is. I'll be glad when that nasty little Neelan fecks off, too. I think he looks like Tony Kebbell who was in Control, though, and I can't quite decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

- I wish Gail wouldn't do that quietspeak thing she does in an 'intimate' setting. That's been bugging me for literally years and I'm sure you all know exactly what I mean.

- The line of the night has to go to David, who, speaking about Joe, said "and for you he's the scrapings of a pretty ropey barrel". Tell it like it is, David!

ITV wins the battle for Newton & Ridley

News in today is that ITV has successfully prevented the registration of the Coronation Street fictional brewers, Newton & Ridley, as a trademark by another company.

In April 2007, Newton & Ridley Beer Company Ltd of Sunderland applied for registration of Newton & Ridley as their trademark but ITV opposed this, saying that consumers would assume the beer producer has been licensed by Coronation Street. In May the Newton & Ridley Beer Company Ltd was ordered to change its name following a successful application under the Companies Act 2006 by ITV Productions Ltd. So now you know.

Blog Exclusive! Inside Soap reveals all

I've been blogging about Coronation Street since 2005 and in all that time, Inside Soap magazine has proved to be the best soaps mag you can buy. It's got interviews, spoilers, pictures, the works. And now, we've been lucky enough to have an exclusive interview with Mr Inside Soap himself - the editor, Steven Murphy!

Steven reveals Inside Soap's plans to celebrate Corrie's 50th and teases us with a spoiler for the New Year. But does he reveal which Corrie actress once did the splits in his hotel room? You'll have to read the interview to find out more - just click here for a right good read.

Corrie's Romanian Holiday DVD - a fan's review

As a Corrie fan, it's awful to sit down to watch another ITV spin-off DVD, knowing in your heart that it's probably best not to get your hopes up. After watching the disappointing Out of Africa DVD earlier this year, I figured it'd be best just to take what comes on this Romanian Holiday and accept that, like past spin-off DVDs, it probably won't be so great. I'm therefore happy to report that this one's not half bad.

Written by Simon Crowther and Chris Fewtrell, directed by Ian Bevitt, the Romanian Holiday DVD is pretty darn good. I won't spoil the plot for those who haven't seen it, but there's some great laugh-out-loud moments, the dialogue is good and the plot is tight. It's a good Corrie caper, a Romanian romp with our favourite transsexual in Transylvania.

Of course it's the characters who make it so good. How could anything with Roy and Hayley in it not be great? And anything which makes mention of both Bob Stokoe, the FA Cup-winning Sunderland football manager and Sunderland football club is ok in my book. Guest actors John Henshaw and Siobhan Finneran are a great addition to the cast and either of those two would be right at home on the Street itself.

So, in short: Is it worth watching? Yes. Is it worth buying? Yes. Marks out of 10? I'd give it 8.

Corrie fan Martin S has posted some screen shots from the DVD online here.

Corrie weekly awards: week of November 16

Best Brother in the World award: Gold, Silver and Bronze stars: Kirkeh. Unquestioning loyalty to Maria.

Prison stripes are the new black award: Did you notice that Maria, Michelle and Audrey were all wearing black and white/gray stripes of varying widths on Friday? Even the baby had gray and white stripes on at one point.

If it's good enough for one former teacher, it's good enough for another award: Stape is now a fixture behind the counter at Roy's Rolls. The apron suits him better than it did Ken!

Don't just stand there screaming award: Hayley Cropper in full hysteria (and rightly so, but why waste time, get ye to the canal, woman!)

Newly minted members of the Canal Club: Roy and Tony (joining the Platt family and Richard Hillman!)

Is There a Doctor in the House? award: Do doctors still even make house calls? And why? Roy only lives 10 feet from the medical centre!

Fashion Don't award: Gold Star: Dev and Steve. Why is it that people playing golf always wear the ugliest clothes?
Silver Star: Gail's work gear.

Best Lines of the week:
Julie to Eileen: "Grow up! You're too old to be this paranoid!"
Hayley to Roy: "Don't fall in!" (oops!)
Tony: "I always knew this would all come out. These things always do."
Kirk to Maria: "We'll sort it like we used to. I'll hold the bag and you chuck stuff in."
Simon to Blanche: "Granny Blanche? Why've you got a funny face on?" (makeup!)
Julie about Eileen: "There she is. Bitch Chief Sitting Bull"

Poor Girl: Fri Nov 20, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Lucy Gannon (7:30) and Stephen Russell (8:30), directed by David Kester.

Maria is sick with guilt and grief over the whole Tony-killed-Liam revelation. Mammy and Barry Connor are back on the cobbles and Helen can't help herself. She rips into Maria about letting Tony into her bed and her life. Maria later disappears and the Connors and Kirk find her at Liam's grave with baby Liam. Maria has a breakdown and tells Helen that she needs to take care of baby Liam, because she's no longer fit as a mother, then runs off into the night.

She's not the only one upset over the revelation. Ryan Connor ('member him?) is so upset that he wants to leave Weatherfield altogether saying that all they've had is trouble since they've arrived. Oh, please do, and take your mother with you. Only, he nor Michelle is going anywhere, of course.

It seems as though Becky's turning into a premature golf widow, as it's all Steve seems to be interested in these days. He and Dev schedule a golf game at the club and argue the entire time. First over who's driving, then over who's buying dinner for the winner, then who will win, then who is more of a "guest" member (neither of them), then who will be the member since there is a spot left. They never actually play any golf! I wonder if this was just a fun foray or if it's leading somewhere. Other than Dev tripping over his clubs, it didn't get many laughs from me.

Becky is lonely so she goes over and talks to Gail about her impending wedding. Becky tells Gail that she could choose from either of her wedding dresses and they could be bridal twins! That was funny at the beginning of this double-episode, but seemingly more realistic come the end since Gail might not have the dosh for a new dress. Joe admits to Gail about his insurmountable debt and Gail devises a solution: sell her house, pay his debts and have enough left over for a flat - a flat for TWO. She and Joe let David know that they don't care what he thinks, or seemingly, where he lives after the house is sold. All together now: Go GAIL!!! Although, I wonder what Audrey's going to think of all this. Well, I don't wonder, I know.

It's finally Jesse's birthday, and he lets Eileen know that he has a birthday tradition: having tea with his family. He didn't tell Eileen because he thought she wouldn't be interested in attending. Well, he's right, but Eileen concedes and goes with him anyway. Well, her night was spoiled by her distaste for his family, and his by her anger. In the end, he doesn't care that she's upset, and I can't for the life of me wonder why these two are still together.

Blanche is in her finest, and on her finest with an unsightly amount of rouge on her cheek this episode! She upstages a dinner party, as usual. If it weren't enough that she was three sheets to the wind, she also decided to hang out the Barlow's dirty laundry on the line as well. George wasn't too happy to learn that Peter is an ex-alcoholic and Leanne an ex-prossie! He later apologised in what is becoming his signature recovery: with expensive gifts and forced sincerity. I just don't trust that man.

HIGHLIGHTS
- Barry Connor for putting his foot down on Helen's acid tongue.
- Kirk being like Lassie and knowing where to lead Helen and Barry to find Maria.
- Hayley telling the factory girls to "shut up, shut up, shut up" when they kept barraging her with questions pertaining to Tony's whereabouts. Go Hayley!
- Hayley telling the factory girls that Tony killed Liam Connor, then Janice asking, "The Baby?" and Hayley correcting her, then asking her how stupid could she be? Hilarious.
- Steve pointing out the irony that he owns a cab firm, but can't get a cab when looking to book one for he and Dev to go to their golf game in.
- Gail's face when Becky suggested they be bridal twins! Haha.
- Joe telling Gail about his debts. It's good he actually told her, instead of getting into more trouble. It'll still most likely end in tears, but what the heck?
- Eileen realising her place on the pecking order in Jesse's life is below every one of his family members and somewhere short of a parrot! Why is she with him then? I'd be happy to see the back of his character to be honest. Does nothing for me.
- Simon asking granny Blanche why she has her "funny face on" when Blanche arrives for dinner glazed in far too much rouge. That kid's got some great one-liners.

LOWLIGHTS
- Ryan, upon hearing about the truth behind his uncle's murder, shudders an unconvincing "noooo" from the living room. Then, Maria worrying about Ryan. Who cares?
- Mammy Connor and her acid tongue! That woman needs to control herself.
- The golf club manager telling Dev and Steve that a member had recently deceased leaving one place open. Erm, should that person be the next in line on the 5-year wait list?
- Blanche outing the Barlow's dirty laundry, again. I mean, it's what she does, but how did she think this would make her more attractive to George?

For those who enjoy the scenic route, check out the full review scene-by-scene here.

Wedding dresses for Gail?

A little light hearted fun with Photoshop today, inspired by David's comment about the possibility of Gail wearing either of Becky's wedding dresses.

David, I apologise for this but my evil twin was unstoppable today. It's not all that good because I couldn't find equal sized photos to match the face with the dress but you get the idea, anyway.

Should Eileen dump Jesse?

Now then, I reckon I've given Jesse long enough to settle into life on the cobbles but I'm still not keen on him, no. Despite being a children's entertainer, he's one of the dullest men in soap. The funniest things about him are his parrott and his mum. In fact, his mum could go down in history as one of the best Coronation Street characters that we've never seen.

But anyway, I digress. What I really want to say about Jesse more than anything else is that he's not good enough for Eileen. Let Julie have Jesse - and please, please, let's have a storyline for Eileen that puts a smile on her face.

Corrie girls turn into rock chicks

Michelle Keegan (Tina McIntyre), Brooke Vincent (Sophie Webster) and Shobna Gulati (Sunita Alahan) turn into rock chicks at Celebrity Rockaoke to raise cash for seriously injured British soldiers.

The Corrie girls will perform a gig at Manchester's Moho Live on December 8. They are raising cash for the British Limbless Ex-Servicemen's Association and Macmillan Cancer Support.

The night will also include a DJ set from Graeme Hawley (John Stape). I wonder if he'll be there as John's alter-ego, the 1980s throwback, DJ Laserbeam?

Find out more and buy your tickets here.

Maggie Jones is on the mend

One of the questions I was hoping to ask Kim Crowther at the online live chat on Thursday night on the official Corrie site was how Maggie Jones, who plays Blanche, is doing. Unfortunately, once I logged onto the live chat, their software crashed my PC.

Anyway, someone else asked the question, obviously fans are keen to know how Maggie Jones is doing. The Corrie producer said that Maggie is making a "slow and steady recovery" following her recent health scare, and that she looked forward to Maggie's return to Corrie as battleaxe Blanche. I think she speaks for us all.

For more from Kim Crowther's webchat, have a look at the highlights on Digital Spy.