Rather than "What's it all about Alfie?" as Millicent Martin (and later Cher, Cilla and of course Dionne Warwick - whom I rather hope might include it in her set in June when I see her) asked in the 1966 film tonight was rather more "It's all about Alfie" as the small infant became the focus of an intense
Now the last time we saw the social worker she had not had "gullible" branded across her forehead - but she was listening to Imran and R'Toyota tear lumps out of each other and you might think that the social workers were trained not to be taken in either by
Imran's smug looking "winning" smile (which he only seems to deploy when needing to achieve something unwelcome) together with the outpourings from Toyah who, let us remind ourselves, is a trained counsellor and can therefore be expected to pour oil on troubled waters and to pat everything smoothly into place so that all the fuss simply disappears.
In this household there was a debate. I take the view that Toyah is only doing this to find a way of scuppering Imran's dinghy of hope with a tsumani and ensuring that he can never get his hands on the child whilst the good lady wife takes the view that Toyah would never do anything to hurt Abi (the sisterhood at work) despite all that has happened - just blaming Imran for his mistake and wanting revenge on him.
Miss Gullible is an amazing social worker - not only does she believe the tripe she is offered is edible she also has a judge on speed dahl dial on Good Friday and arranges that as soon as Alfie can leave hospital he can return to the loving care of the family which has so far abandoned Elsie and R'Kelly - you never know third time lucky. My belief that Toyah is looking for a way out grew when even she was surprised that things were moving so quickly.
More surprised than Toyah was Abi who was with Alfie when the fateful call came and she immediately exploded returning to the Street for a shouting showdown with Ms Battersby and her future husband (oh yes she said they were getting married when interviewed by Miss Gullible). Kev and Roy intervene and the latter walks her back to her flat near the Weatherfield Precinct to stop her doing anything stupid. Roy subsequently talks Abi down and hopefully redirects her with the power of positive thinking - and after all she is Alfie's mother so her rights are significant.
Elsewhere Kelly, Gary and Maria attend Rick Neelan's funeral which is enlivened by a former customer (Dave Burman played by Andy Salthouse) of the late Mr Neelan turning up to spit on his coffin (grave spitting is so last year). Gary lands a solid punch in the middle of the church and the miscreant departs in his van - which has his name and address painted on the rear door. Meanwhile in what will no doubt make life difficult for Councillor (the other sort) Windass, a member of the local press hid behind a huge camera and took pictures of those attending the funeral of a "known criminal". Once Rick is in his third grave Kelly and Gary say their farewells. No doubt given that Mrs Neelan admitted to being the killer and that there is no more evidence it looks like the story of Gary and Rick has finally reached a conclusion and that Gary has got away with the factory collapse and Rick's death. Later R'Kelly goes after Mr Burman and apologises for her father, for Gary and well just about everything.
The factory gets a look in - the buyer, Mr Geronimo (played by Steven E Harris), whom Kirk sweet talked into an order turns up and after a cardboard box building contest (with Kirk winning) he does offer to discuss a deal with Carla! Beth demands that in consequence Kirk should be given a promotion and Carla concedes a meaningless new title which to my mind does not sound half so grand as "head of packing".
Amy gets Summer out of the flat and into Roy's for a piece of cake - but she takes her books with her and Roy plies them with bacon barms as he has a new bacon supplier (I still wish for Nina's Noodles) which they take back to the flat. Summer gets rid of Amy and then visits the smallest room in the flat to relieve her stomach of its contents. Amy however comes back for her phone (which is odd for a teenager - do they ever put them down?) and Summer admits her need to stay slim. However in friend mode Amy later denies to Billy that Summer is doing anything wrong. Difficult choice there for Amy - stand by your friend or bring down the powers which might help her?
Meanwhile Daisy's green eyes are flashing again given the need for Nicky and Daniel to spend time together to plan the school trip to Edinburgh (we got a day trip to an oil refinery when I were a lad). Jenny uses her knowledge to suggest that in place of having a cat fight in the Street (shame) Daisy could quiz Nicky about her intentions. Whilst not revealing the history of their connection Nicky admits that yes she could fancy Daniel but she would never split him and Daisy up because she is not that sort of woman and she is not a home/family wrecker - and she would not want Daniel if he was prepared to cheat on Daisy. This is such an alien thought for Daisy's brain that she struggles with the concept for a while but will probably accept that such women exist (at least in fiction). Oh - never let Daniel borrow your car. He always puts windscreen washer in the brake fluid. At least Abi gets her job back at the garage as they are still short handed.
Adam is a sore loser as we know and it appears that in a recent case the other side used a real dirt digger (paralegal Ben Chancellor) to win a case unfairly. The agent of evil then gave Adam his card for future business - but Imran talks Adam into throwing the card away. However in the ongoing residence battle Imran decides that Abi is back "using" and he wants proof so that Abi's "missile cruiser" status in relation to Alfie can undergo a mysterious explosion in the ammunition store and later roll over in a storm and sink; so he rescues the business card and makes contact with Mr Chancellor. Abi's solicitor is Elliott Newell (a return for Toby Gaffney) who is looking for revenge on Imran - if anyone can remember why let me know please.
Written by Owen Lloyd Fox and Debbie Oates. Directed by Matt Holt.
Kosmo
