Cassie, the heroin addict with the perfect teeth and nicely shaped eyebrows, is off down the Citizen's Advice. You've got to to feel for Claire Sweeney, all that botox and she's been made by the hair and make-up department to look reet rough. She's not really going to the CAB though, she's off to meet Dean, the latest in a long line of drug dealers to meet his punters in the ginnel. She owes him £50, to which he takes umbrage and he ends up pushing her over, witnessed by Michael, who takes her to A&E where Dean follows and Michael ends up being smacked by him. Please don't let these two start snogging!
Peter asks Ryan for some rent so he can give it to Lou in lieu of Rufus's watch. Not sure that £100 a week is going to pay her off very quickly. Meanwhile, Ryan flirts with a girl (possibly) on Instagram who wants him to drop his keks and also tells him he could make money on Corrie's version of OnlyFans (Ovidz) for naked pics.
Due to some inopportune bird poo, Todd finds the business card (that George hid) from Rest Easy inviting him to a meeting. Todd gives George the chance to 'fess up but he chokes on his takeaway coffee at Todd's suggestion of an extra £200 a month. The Young Funeral Director Of The Year meets up with Troy from RE who offers him £30K a year and a nice line in snarky comments: "If you pay peanuts, you won't get staff because no-one wants to be paid in bar snacks." (I wouldn't mind). George overhears the discussion and kicks off and meanwhile, Troy steals their customer.
Billy seems to be writing to the bishop to request that he and Paul get married in a church. Might be easier to go to Gretna Green than try and make the bishop change the whole of the CofE's (homophobic) policy. Paul has other things on his mind, namely walking with a stick and fending off Billy's suggestions of a wheelchair.
And Ed quibbles with Ronnie about buying shares in Newton & Ridley. I'm not convinced that shares would go up in value if a company is subject to a friendly takeover but then again, I'm not Jeremy Hunt (thank god). Michael's fight with Dean in the hospital leads his dad and uncle to find out that Aggie has been assaulted at work, but doesn't want to give up her job in case Ed gambles everything away again. So Ed agrees to let Ronnie hold all the brothers' finances and ta-da, Ronnie can invest in N&R without Ed or Aggie knowing. This is going to go well isn't it? "It can't fail," says our Debbie, who isn't investing owt herself.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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