Welcome. Christmas fast approaches but tonight Will celebrates his sixteenth birthday in style. As far as he is concerned it means that he and Megan are legally able to exchange bodily fluids and he books a hotel room (164 at the Chariot Square of course - in the whole of Weatherfield there is only one hotel AND they book rooms just for the morning!) and he passes a key card to Megan for her to join him later. At the Rovers Ben, Eva and Maggie play down his birthday to his face and then are busy putting up decorations whilst he is making the beast of two backs elsewhere (although they did not displace many of the rose petals). He does not answer the phone to any of them but Ronnie Bailey had seen him earlier hanging around the hotel so Ben and Ollie hotfoot it over to the hotel and magically find his bedroom door which allows Megan to head into the bathroom before they enter and find how he has marked his special day. Will leads them to think it is Chloe and Ben sorts a taxi for her back to the station as they take the lad off to his party at the Rovers where they imply he was simply seeking alcohol and not revealing his actual activities to Eva and Maggie. Megan shaken by the mention of a Chloe wants explanations in the ginnel where she is found, invited to the party and then also to join the Driscoll's Christmas and stay over rather than having a turkey dinner for one in 'ull. She accepts and so does Daniel who gets invited along as well. The Driscoll's are looking forward to a wonderful family Christmas in their new home. Can anyone spot any possible flaws in this dream?
Over a spot of notional cartomancy readings Maggie and Bernie bury the hatchet - it costs Maggie a dirty vodka martini on the house (not even a double - Bernie is slipping) and they agree not to mention their troubled grand off sprungs (Will and Brody) again. Glenda explains the conversation between them noting that they speak a completely different language to the rest of us - weirdo-ese!
We were talking of Daniel who managed to find Bertie long enough to palm him off on Ken for the day doing some Christmassy arts and crafts and Bertie (unlike Glory who also popped in out of nowhere - are the schools on holiday?) actually managed a few words almost promising to be good for Ken who will no doubt want to teach him the art of the bells..
Dee Dee departed for Singapore. There was a taxi, a family group plus Glory and Laila made appearances. The Bailey family is down two more members. Only four more to go (please).
Carl has lost his phone and we know that James sent him some sort of text message when hammered (when do sportsmen get hammered - oh yes when playing the Ashes). Carl asks James if he has seen his phone and the latter tells him he needs to find it before Abi sees it. Carl eventually finds down the back of a sofa and the message is along the lines of meet me at the Hotel and I will make it worth your while - which Abi reads over his shoulder have silently appeared in the background as he dug the phone out. Carl explains that he is being excluded from Ronnie's stag night as Kev will be going and that James was offering a few drinks to offset his upset (James was offering the full Will booked room package but we will let that slide). Abi swallows the story hook line and sinker and goes into battle for her man - after all Carl is also Debbie's brother and so is entitled to a night of handcuffing Ronnie to a lamp-post in his under grollies following the axe throwing and stripper as Glenda so delicately explains the stag evening . Heaven help us.
Christmas preparations are also going well chez Metcalfe where Joanie Michaelis is finding life difficult. The two girls add decorations to the tree and then go skating with Tim. However later Fiz comes around with Hope and Ruby but Joanie feels she has a better offer for the evening as she considers Hope Dobbs is a nutter. The offer is a party at Taylor Benton's who is in the year above Joanie. Apparently Taylor is so cool she pierced her own nose with a staple gun! Sally is not prepared to let Joanie go to an unknown person's house for a party and making friends with a staple gun user is not quite what Sally had in mind. Sally voice slightly raised tells Joanie to like it lump it. Cue teenage stomping upstairs. Later Tim just about stops her leaving for the party and she and Sally argue with Joanie calling her a silly cow and that telling Sally she is not her mother before pulling the Christmas tree over. Sally responds angrily refusing to keep pussyfooting around and tells Joanie to grow up. Cue running up them stairs. Tim takes Hope and Ruby for a can with Ty and Fiz stays to get Sally back on the straight and narrow as Fiz helps discuss parenting. Later Sally sits Joanie down and tells her far more calmly that she is at a crossroads - they can show her the right road or she can take the wrong road - and they would all prefer she takes the right road. Joanie at least seems to be listening but she has never known stability and boundaries and is bound to struggle. When Tim returns Sally and Joanie are under a blanket, watching a Christmas film and drinking hot chocolate and for now all appears well.
Sorry cannot waste tears on Dee Dee. A theoretically smart lawyer working the back streets of Weatherfield can get a job in Singapore, taken in by an abuser, and trashing her promises to her brother. Somewhere it all went wrong. Will used a card to pay for the hotel room - in what name. Megan knows the trail will cause her all sorts of problems at some point. I hope Joanie can control herself - but I reckon she needs to learn coping mechanisms - or at least learning to count to ten. Not sure when or what I will be reviewing next week. However - it is time to wish my readers a Happy Christmas.
Written by Julie Jones and Chris Fewtrell. Directed by Kodjo Tsakpo.
Kosmo
