Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 13 March

Evening Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review. Kosmo sends his apologies for the absence of a review last week. He blames old age and forgetfulness, but as he’s only 27 I’m going to blame gin!

At No.1 Ken is still dithering over what to pack for the move to Stillwaters. As he’s musing to Brian about new pastures, Audrey appears like a bouffanted ninja to tell him that the reason he’s not packing is that he actually doesn’t want to leave. I think you may be reading a bit too much into this Aud, I’ve known Mr Kelstar to leave packing his holiday case until half an hour before the taxi’s due. Sitting down with Eccles in his lap Ken reminisces about the good times he’s had at No. 1. There’s a brilliant moment when he finds Deirdre’s truly awful handmade peanut bowls and after offering them to Peter, Carla and Tracy finally picks them up and with a last wistful look heads out to his new life.

Over in the Tardis flat, Toyah is lamenting being unemployed for all of half a day so Imran tells her she should get a job as a PA. I know it’s the rules of the Street that everyone can instantly apply themselves to any job available as long as it’s two minutes’ walk from the Rovers, but as Toyah is a trained counsellor should she not be looking for other jobs in…oh I don’t know…counselling? If Imran lost his job as a solicitor, I doubt anyone would suggest he start sweeping up beard hair at Trim Up North. Anyway, it’s all academic as after a chat in the café with Nina, who’s looking like a goth Hilda Ogdon in a wonderful bat housecoat (if anyone can tell me where to buy this I will pay them in snakebite and black), our Toyah decides that the company are evil capitalists and she doesn’t want to compromise her principles to work for them.

Meanwhile Dr Bad Hair tells Ryan there’s nothing left for him on the Street and that he’s leaving as he can’t bear to see Maria with Gary day in day out. What a terrible waste. Two years ago he had a promising career and let’s face it looked pretty fit. Just a reminder here for everyone…

Now he’s a murderer, recovering junkie, been arrested, lost his job, spent what feels an eternity mooning over Maria and is sporting a hairdo that Shaggy from Scooby-Doo would probably object to on the grounds of it being a bit unkempt. I feel like there must be some way I can blame Michelle for all this. Anyway, after wishing Maria well, apologising to Toyah and reluctantly hugging Ryan, the Doctor drives away with some wise words from Carla ringing in his ears: “Leave it all behind and don’t come back” (well unless of course you can’t get any other TV offers). 

In other news, Gemma attends another mother and baby hippy/yoga/story time thingy with the snobby yummy mummies who delight in telling her about their au pairs and childminders. After falling asleep in the class it’s clear she needs some help. She rings her mum, but only manages to leave her a voicemail telling her everything is fine. 

Finally, (and I had to leave this section till last because my hands are so contorted into fists that it’s really difficult to type), Geoff’s cruel manipulation of Yasmeen continues. Telling her that it’s clear that he and Alya can no longer work together, he heads out on the pretence of seeing a business advisor. Meanwhile Alya finds that £1,000 has been withdrawn from the Speed Daal accounts and hears from Eileen about Geoff locking Yasmeen in his magic box. Horrified, Alya rushes to her Gran. She tells her that Geoff is taking money from the business and controlling her by never letting her go out or see her friends. But Yasmeen won’t hear a word said against the hideous waste of organs. She tells her granddaughter that Geoff tells her every day that he loves her, which is something that Shariff never did.

When IT returns, he tells Yasmeen that his ‘business advisor’ has told him they should sell their half of the business to Alya and move to Cyprus. Yasmeen is reluctant and says that her life is in Weatherfield but he tells her that she doesn’t have any friends in the Street and her life is with him.  When she meekly suggests that they go to the Rovers for a drink, he of course vetoes the idea and tells her she’s the luckiest woman in the world having him as a husband (at which point I might have been sick in my mouth). She concedes, but the look on her face suggests that she might realise that her granddaughter is right.

And that’s it for this week. If you can think of any really painful, possibly medieval, outcomes for Geoff please do let me know in the comments section or on twitter @mskelstar.

Kosmo will be with you next week, so zombie apocalypse permitting I’ll see you back her in a fortnight.

---

---

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Coronation Street Episode Review; Weds 11th March 7.30 & 8.30 pm

As a non-football fan, I can't be sure of when James' next match for County is, but his latest fixture is a meeting with club reps to discuss his recent public outing and the resulting press interest.

About a year ago, I attended a Coronation Street press day at ITV studios where this storyline was unveiled {read more here} and I've known about it for some time. With misogyny and homophobia rife in the so-called 'national game'. I'm really pleased that Corrie has raised this issue. It's not surprising when James is reluctant to take on the mantle of gay/black footballer and, coincidentally, he's dropped from the next match.

Roy’s 'batty' defence of Nina and the society’s prejudice of his goth niece is admirable, and Roy is right, Hayley would have done the same. Defending her honour on the down-low (typical Roy) it’s left to Carla to reveal the truth to Nina about his little white lie but all’s well that ends well and their lovely little kinship continues. Amidst all this angst, anger, resentment and distrust, it's nice to know we have Roy and Nina to lighten the load.

In sharp contrast to Roy's timid demeanour, leading alpha male Gary Windass was almost certain to punch Ali once news of Maria's infidelity was out. Is she worth holding on to though? Posh flat, huge expensive car, diamond ring, and she repays him how? By sleeping with floppy-haired GP!

Following the spiking of his drink with Diazepam by Sharon, Ali's swift recovery and kidnapping of Maria is even more ridiculous, but even I can sidestep this fact as it *spoiler alert*  precedes Ali leaving the cobbles before this week is out. I'm glad Gary got the punch in and Dr Gaddas played a blinder too! A swift suspension for the doc and sacking or Toyah - you don't mess with Dr Gaddas (or gad-arse as Evelyn calls her).

Which reminds me, we still have Geoff Metcalfe's nefarious nature, to deal with on the street. Spotting an identical spelling mistake in the bad online reviews and in the new menu, Alya points the finger at Geoff and implies he's the culprit of grammar crimes. Confronting him in front of her gran, Yasmeen's loyalties remain misguided. Feeling the heat, Geoff decides it's time Alya got out of the (Speed Daal) kitchen. Will she leave or will Geoff be pushing her?

Talking of which, Ken’s move out of number one is also gathering pace. Relinquishing ownership of Eccles the dog is shocking enough, but I cannot believe that Ken doesn't own a kindle?! Leaving the street after 60 years pales in comparison to that revelation! Joking aside, Audrey is shocked at the speed of the move, and so am I (the 60th anniversary isn't until December 9th ) so will we see Ken go now? Will he return to live there later on in the year maybe?

What did you think of Wednesday's Corrie? Let us know in the comments section below.

@rybazoxo

---

---

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 14 February

Greetings Corrie fans it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.

In Victoria Court, Gary is in Maria’s dressing gown making her breakfast in bed whilst singing Toto. He tells her she deserves a bit of Valentines Day pampering (I mean not warbling dodgy 80’s soft rock hits would be a start) and books for her to get her nails done before rushing off to attend to some business. Not long after he leaves Ryan turns up acting shifty with a mysterious package which he refuses to hand over to Maria. Maria’s suspicions are immediately aroused. Not sure why because Ryan only has two facial expressions: shifty and bewildered. He once tried to convey the emotion of astonishment but it was mistaken by everyone for trapped wind.

The other street residents are having a rather mixed Valentine’s Day. In the ‘loved-up’ corner are  Sarah and Adam (despite trying not to flaunt it in from of Shona-deprived David); Cathy and Brian, who are wooing each other with a rendition of Lady Marmalade and Tim and Sally, though she is far less keen on his idea of them getting matching tattoos.

In the ‘it’s complicated’ corner are Bethany and Daniel. Having spent the night together they have an awkward meeting in the café, which quickly turns into full-blown horror show when they’re met with the righteous fury of Beth Tinker. Reminding them that Sinead has only been gone for four months she shames Daniel, who then tells Bethany they should stay away from one another. Later he confesses to Adam, who tells him that if he does like Bethany he needs to just deal with people’s reactions. Clearly not one for procrastination, Daniel finds Bethany in the Rovers and announces to everyone that they’re now an item and they should all get used to it.

Also having trouble with the mysteries of love is Ed. In the Bistro he meets Danny, an old mate working there as temporary manager, who tells him he’s come out as gay. When James arrives, Ed introduces them but it’s quite clear that they already know each other pretty well. When Ed leaves, they sneak into the kitchen (where no food preparation is taking place) and have a kiss. James says he doesn’t want his dad finding out, but Danny tells him he thinks Ed is more open-minded. As his dad is at that very moment sitting on the sofa with Aggie making Larry Grayson jokes, (Ed mate nobody under 40 got that reference at least update your casual homophobia to the nougties), he may be being a little bit optimistic!

In the ‘just give me the feckin’ chocolates and let me eat myself into a diabetic coma’ corner are Abi and Ray. Having found out her fella is a sex pest she confronts him, but he plays it down inviting her to his charity ball and sending her a Valentines hamper. Acting like he’s won her over, she tells Bethany that she is biding her time and is going to bring him down. As the event is in full swing Bethany, Alya and Daniel all watch to see what Abi has planned. Grabbing the microphone, she introduces Ray’s previous victims to the assembled crowd and tells them what Ray tried with all of them. Furious he drags her into the kitchen (again no one working in there) and tells he that while he’s a rich, respected bloke who does a lot of work for char-ridee, she is just a junkie slag who no one will believe. Abi toughs it out but is clearly upset. Stealing Ray’s car keys, she ignores a concerned Kev’s pleas to not get herself in more trouble, drives it away and torches it whilst singing Disco Inferno (which was actually the least terrible song of the night!) 

Meanwhile back to Gary and Maria. At his lock up Gary gives one of his desperate ex-customers £200 to pay off a less friendly loan shark. This is overseen by Maria who of course gets the wrong end of the stick. As she sulks in the barbers, Dr Ali turns up and before you can say ‘I only came in for a trim!’ they’re bonking on the leather sofa. Obviously it was a slow day for customers. Probably best as the waiting area might need a bit of a going over with a wet wipe! As they get dressed, Ali rather smugly assumes they’re back together, which made me go off him a bit...that and the straggly hair…and the appalling tattoos <sighs and stares off into middle distance>.

Back at the flat, Gary has decorated with the sort of pink abandon that even Barbie might reject as being a bit much. Arriving back from her appointment with the doctor, Maria has a face like a slapped arse. She accuses him of still being a loan-shark and says she’s sick of being lied to and treated like an idiot (if the shoe fits). Gary promptly produces Ryan and his ex-customer to back up his story and then tells her that the reason for all his secrecy was that he was going to propose.

To Maria’s surprise he then pops the question again…but will she say yes? Should she say yes? Tell me what you think in the comments section or catch me on twitter @mskelstar

---

---

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Coronation Street episode review Friday 27 December 2019

David is pleading with Shona to wake up (above) but she remains in a coma throughout the episode.  David is sent to either the waiting room or the chapel on the first floor as they want to run tests on the inert body.  The suggestion of visiting the chapel is surely evidence of where this is going.  So extended hospital scenes as David is joined by Sarah, Audrey and Nick (can someone please erase the beards - Ali, Nick, David, Adam, Peter, Ty, Gary - has the whole of Manchester been taken over by these strange growths, enough!).  Gail must be child minding.  The CT scan rules out a stroke, the other tests show no discernible brain activity - and we all know what that really means.

In the cafe Ali is told by Maria to stay away from her, Liam and Gary as she has had enough - but Ali wants Gary to face justice, whilst most of the Street consider Gary to be a hero.  Ali and Ryan then start arguing as Ali wants Ryan to back him up - but Ryan reminds us all that Gary knows about Ali's drug addiction and it will backfire - and Ryan does not want another beating.  Michelle comes downstairs with Carla as they are going to identify Robert and the argument stops.  Michelle sends them to the Bistro to pack up a couple of boxes of the items not passing to the new owner.  A little later Michelle, Carla, Ryan and Ali have left the Bistro with the boxes and meet the new owner - Ray Crosby (above) who simply could not pass up on a bargain basement priced Bistro (one without a chef or manager - but hey who cares?).  Michelle strides back into the Bistro and breaks bottles, glasses and throws a vase of flowers on the floor (which made the wrong noise on impact).

When she returns to the flat Maria updates Gary on Shona's coma and he starts to look worried.  Gary knows he is in a corner and is worried how he will get out of it.

Ty, Fiz, Hope, Ruby and Jade are playing Cluedo (a game based on a murder) which gives Hope the opportunity to ask Fiz if the gun depicted is like the one she took into Gary's shop!  Later Fiz has to explain to Ty that she bought the gun believing it to be decommissioned and it was subsequently stolen.  Fiz explains that she did not want to tell the police as she could not face another jail sentence (originally a 15 year sentence for murder - but later found not guilty).  Ty expresses (above) the usual soap outburst that he wishes she had told him.

At the hospital Adam finally gets to talk to Sarah-Lou.  He is thinking she did not want to get engaged but she makes it clear that she does and so does he.  I argued about two years ago that the Platt and Barlow families should be joined in holy matrimony citing these two (rather than Bethany and Daniel) as well suited and my crystal ball has finally got a prediction right.  I am amazed!  Sarah wants no more crazy theories about Gary the superhero as a condition!  They seal the deal above!

The Connors plus Peter and Roy gather in the Rovers for a farewell drink for Michelle who attempts to get her "sons" to stop squabbling.  She also calls Ray a creep and "handsy" but refuses to explain further.  Peter is praised for his care of Carla and he says he will continue to look after her.

There is a closing montage over the "Day is Done" by Nick Drake as Michelle used to sing to Ryan and they cuddle in the pub, Ty cuddles Fiz, Maria seeks to calm Gary with kisses, David crying as he holds Shona's hand and finally as Michelle departs, in tears, in the back of a StreetCars cab (below).

Confused at me being here again?  Well so was I when I found that my normal double episode Friday slot had been split into two and half of it appeared on Boxing Day whilst today was Friday, earlier on Emmerdale I got confused when they said something was happening tomorrow when they really mean Monday.  I do wish TPTB would sort these inconsistencies out!

Written by Sam Holdsworth and directed by Judith Dine.

Kosmo
@Kosmo100

---

---

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License