First of all, can you tell me how this special day comes about?
Paul has had the fall out of the stairlift and through his occupational therapist, we've learned that his muscles are wasting now to a point where he's no longer able to sit safely in this stairlift. Billy and Paul live in a first floor flat, which means that until they can either move somewhere else with a ground floor apartment, which they're trying to do and they're on a waiting list to move out, Paul is going to be confined to the flat so they decide to have one last day out adventure before, before Paul gets stuck in the flat full time.
Whose idea is it? Is it something that Paul says he wants to do? Is it something Billy has planned?
It's Billy's idea. Because David says that, you know that an occupational therapist isn't the law, they can't arrest you, they can't stop you from getting out of the flat. So Billy thinks, right, let's just have one last day. So he planned this day trip to surprise him so that Paul can have one last little adventure before they're stuck in the apartment.
How is Billy feeling at this stage, because being a carer is so difficult. And he is also trying to keep upbeat for Paul. So how is he coping?
I think he's trying to keep everything as positive as possible, and trying to keep Paul as upbeat as possible, because we do have this sort of thing hanging over us the entire time where Paul potentially could, at any moment, say that he's had enough and wants to end things. So Billy is constantly trying to keep him upbeat. Billy is a very positive person, anyway on the outside but on the inside he's watching the man that he loves disappear before his eyes every day. It's getting slightly worse. So of course, he's absolutely heartbroken, but he's doing his best to try and keep things as cheerful as possible.
Recently, we've seen there was a bit of a trust issue that Paul still felt that Billy was trying to control his life a bit, and he thought that Billy had gone to the doctor after the fall. How was that for them? What sort of difficulties have they gone through in the relationship throughout this process?
Billy is a bit of a control freak, and that has been even prior to the MND, that was always something that had annoyed Paul in the past, which is why I think Paul jumped to that conclusion initially. Billy was a bit hurt that Paul had gone there, but I think also understood why Paul jumped to that conclusion. But Billy is not a grudge holder particularly now that they're realising that their time is running out and very, very precious, Billy is very keen to move on from any sort of disagreements, as quickly as possible.
So this day dawns. What sort of things has Billy got planned?
Paul hasn’t got a clue what they're going to do. Billy takes him back to the church where they got married, which is lovely, and they have a nice little moment there. He's also organised for some of Paul's buddies to all meet at the Rovers for a drink. Obviously Paul can't drink because he's got a feeding tube. However David organises this funky little bit of machinery and you can make bubbles out of any liquid that tastes of the liquid. So obviously, having not been able to swallow anything at all for some time this is such a fun treat as David makes some beer bubbles for Paul so that he can actually taste the taste a bit. The whole day is amazing and I really don't want to spoil it by giving too much away. It was the most incredible and emotional episode to film. Not all of the day is big surprises or gestures. I think what Billy is realising, as I think most people should, in life, generally anyway, is that actually the small things are the biggest. You don't need grand gestures or expensive gifts, it is in the detail, the little things that matter the most.
So for that day is it about living in the moment and making these memories for Billy and giving Paul just this wonderful day?
Yeah, absolutely that's all they're doing, is living in the moment, because everything's changing so quickly for them. Not just for Paul, but for Billy as well. Because with each bit of decline in Paul's health, they have to adapt to a new issue, and just confront it head on and get on with it. Because obviously there's no sidestepping it. You can't get around the fact that Paul is living with late stages of MND. So I think it is absolutely about them just trying to utilise any bit of joy, squeeze any last bit of joy out of any little moment that they can.
You've alluded to the fact that you know one of the reasons for doing this is that Billy knows that at any point Paul could, you know, make good his decision to end his life in the way that he wants to. And bearing in mind, Billy has promised him that he will help him. How much is that something that's preying on Billy's mind and when, if it comes to that moment, do you think he really will be able to go through with it for Paul?
Yes, I think Billy has made peace with it. Initially, obviously, it went against his entire moral and religious code, against everything he stands for, because in Billy's mind life is life is given to us by God, and therefore is sacred and precious. But then obviously, he also understands Paul's wishes. Billy's a very compassionate person, and despite it being the most brutal moment of his life, I think he's made peace with it. With Billy, it's more about when that time comes, if that time comes, he has to make sure that it really is the moment and Paul is making the right decision. Billy will then be left with the consequences afterwards, and could potentially be left wondering, should I have tried harder to stop him or convince him that maybe next week is a better day, or the week after that, or the week after that, but I do think ultimately, has now made peace with Paul's decision,
You have talked a lot about filming this storyline but what has it been like as we get to the stage that you had with your grandfather and in some ways reliving that?
I have to be honest, I think this has probably been one of the hardest things I've ever had to play in my entire career because it is a lived experience. This is something we've gone through as a family. The writing team, storyliners and the research department have been so thorough, and they have got this so right. And you team that with Pete's utterly, unbelievably incredible performance, and it is almost like going through it again for a second time. I mean, there's been times I burst into tears on set during the filming of this episode. There was one day I got in the car after work, and I just burst into tears. Pete and I have been living in an emotional state now with this storyline, and obviously because we have played it out in real time, and seeing Pete in that condition is so emotional to play. Pete's performance, his attention to detail has been incredible, I'm hoping that he wins all the awards, he deserves it so much. When I got home yesterday, I was talking about what we've been filming, and I just burst into tears talking about it. It's been a very raw experience,
So how do you switch off from that?
When you're this busy, it is all consuming. You're either at home learning it and reading it, or you're here filming it. And there's very little downtime. However I've got my three little dogs, which I walk and get out and about with, as long as I'm outside, I'm happy. I love getting my vitamin D. I love my gardening. Basically, my whole garden is now an allotment and I grow all my own veg. Also getting away in my little camper van at the weekend if the weather's decent. For me it is about grounding myself in nature and the outdoors. It's a very recharging thing to be in nature and outside. But also wine. Wine really helps, haha.
We are of course getting closer each week to the end of this story, how are you feeling about that?
We're all feeling very emotional. Obviously Billy and Bernie and Summer are all grieving for Paul, but we are losing an incredible friend and member of the cast. It's going to feel very strange to be coming into work and not having Pete here. Pete and I are very close and we've grown so much closer during this storyline. It just feels like it's coming around so quickly.
I guess though there's a small number of people who leave a soap in a storyline that is going to have a real lasting effect. It's a good way to leave a show and a good storyline for people around you to be involved in.
Absolutely, the amount of awareness, and potentially funds that this storyline has created for the MND community and the MND Association. I'm an ambassador for the MND Association. I've been working with them for 23 years, so I'm in constant contact with the team at the MND Association, and they are absolutely thrilled with what we've been able to do with this storyline. Pete said to me, prior to this story, that he didn't really know much about MND. As a result of my connection to the MND Association, Pete now comes with me to every fundraiser, which has been lovely, and he's now a patron of an MND charity. It's a really beautiful community. It's like a club that really nobody wants to be in. But when you are in it they are some of the most positive, lovely, lovely people you could ever wish to meet, and Pete's feet are now firmly within that he will continue to support the MND Association long, long after we finished the storyline.
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