It's CSI Weatherfield tonight as DS Swain celebrated becoming a part of the cast by investigating Lauren's disappearance. Yes, its #LaurenGate. Now all someone needs to do is release a photoshopped picture of her on the swings at the Red Rec to add to the conspiracy. Anyhoo, poor Roy is is the frame as he cleaned Lauren's flat and paid off her debts, which is suspicious in Swain's cynical eye. At least Bobbly has been persuaded by the community that Roy is a good guy - although isn't that what people say when the nice quiet man next door is charged with unspeakable crimes? I am however liking Bobby's slight character change during this storyline, he was a bit much when he first arrived but has settled in (or down) now. We also learn that DS Swain's favourite stakeout take-out is a bacon barm, which seems a bit on the nose.
The reason Lisa (I think we've known her long enough now to use her given name) is checking out Lauren's flat is that the newly homeless Sean, determined not to end up at tent city again, views the precinct flat but isn't keen on renting somewhere with blood stains on the curtains. Dylan meanwhile is determined to plead guilty, despite Mason's fingerprints being found on the knife and the visiting cop's promise that he will get a custodial sentence, which I guess means Daniel will be teaching him English lit. Maybe Blubber by Judy Bloom? I know Mason isn't in this ep but I do wonder if the make up people have been exaggerating Luca Toolan's naturally long lashes to make him look like Alex from A Clockwork Orange?
Meanwhile Liam is being home schooled by Maria whose idea of being an educator is to buy lots of differently coloured exercise books. To be fair, Maria has experience in animal biology (kennelmaid-ing), civics (local politics) and beauty therapy (hairdressing). Not much experience in domestic science though - homeschool dinner is sausage, chips and beans. I'm sure most school dinners have at least one vegetable in them.
Another young man facing up to his crimes is Simon, who is prepared to take whatever the judge throws at him, although he's not above getting Sam to write a witness statement (presumably for the defence and not the prosecution). By the way, Simon's scrambled eggs and smoke salmon on toast looked pretty good - couldn't they get him cheffing in the Bistro?
Someone else dealing with the consequences of his action is a man on the other end of the age scale. Because Eliza is a little madam, she goes through Stu's pockets to get some money for the cinema and finds the £10K that Stu for some reason is carrying around with him. Just put it in the bank, FFS! Save it for Eliza's education or whatever. Yasmeen encourages him to tell her the truth, which seems like a bad idea - tell a kid who has found out that her mum is a murderer that her dad was prepared to sell her?? The best thing for this storyline would be for Eliza to go live with her dad in Germany and that'd be an end to it. She could always come back with a different head in 5 years time.
On the other side of the law is Damon who, to be able to afford his and Sarah's dream home, tells Harvey he wants a cut of the money from the mysterious "job" that Harvey is masterminding from his prison cell.
Apologies there are no pics this week - ITV hasn't released any preview photos and last week I took some screen prints from other sites, which then broke the whole blog!
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
