Evil triumphs. I'm not saying I'd have her over for dinner, but there was something ridiculously appealing about how unashamedly awful Grace was this week. Right from that very first "hiyaaaa!" she was a preening, strutting agent of chaos, rolling her eyes at simple humanity and smirking every time she got to threaten Ed and Aggie. She doesn't have a single redeeming feature and there's a brilliance to that. It was great fun watching her revel in her vileness. The moment when she went from tearfully "confessing to Michael":
...to cackling with joy at her sheer vindictiveness...
It helps that the target of her machinations is the Bailey family because it's easy to side with anyone who makes their lives miserable. Look, we've all given them a chance, we've tried our best, but they've been in the show for three years now and they're as boring as hell. I'll keep Aggie, because she can be good fun, but the men are all varying degrees of useless. Have Grace burn number 3 to the ground with the blokes inside while Aggie's on the night shift and we can all move on.
Abi, meanwhile, was left hunting for somewhere to live. This was before Imran learned he was a dad, but the set designers left subtle hints that she should really tell him by advertising flats on "Fathers Lane" and "Paternity Way". Presumably the director thought "Imran'sTheDaddy Road" was a little too on the nose and made them take it down. She tried living with Kevin, but tried to cop a feel, so that was the end of that, until Toyah paid her deposit and got her a flat, which is absolutely a very normal thing for someone you barely know to do. The flat, incidentally, is "by the precinct" - the same precinct the show announced they'd be building on the backlot only last week. What are the chances, eh?
Still, it could be worse - remember when Kirk was almost mayor? If he'd won Weatherfield would be a smoking crater by now. He wandered round the show this week doing his usual schtick of misunderstanding basic concepts and talking a load of nonsense and I realised I've had enough of this. When Kirk was a young naive lad this was mildly amusing, but he's forty years old now and he's not getting any wiser. It's reaching the stage where I'm starting to wonder if there should be some medical intervention; maybe it's like when they discovered Homer Simpson had a crayon stuck up his nose that affected his intelligence. Get him in the General for an x-ray - there might be a Chewbacca wedged in his cranium and he's secretly a genius.
People change. I think we can all agree that Jack James Ryan must be a lovely, lovely person behind the scenes, because this current version of Jacob bears very little resemblance to the one who appeared in the show last year. They've retooled the character completely to try and get the actor back in the programme which I'm not against at all - remember how vile Kylie Turner was in her first appearances, before she reappeared as David's fiancé? - but it does mean you have to willingly forget everything that happened before. Would 2021 Jacob have done a Bruce Forsyth impression? Would 2021 Jacob have gulped in fear at the prospect of an evening out with Tracy and Steve? Of course not. He'd have put his feet on the table, told Steve his daughter was great in bed, and ordered the most expensive booze on the menu.
Lawyers: know the law. No wonder Barlow Legal Services never seem to win any cases. Adam got charged with threatening behaviour and criminal damage and his very first thought was to find Lydia and scream abuse at her in the middle of the Street, before phoning her and leaving harassing messages on her voicemail. Breaking your bail conditions about four minutes after they were issued, very smart.
Blimey. Take him back soon Sarah; he left all his mousse and Brylcreem at Redbank and if you don't give him visitation rights that mop will quickly become uncontrollable.
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Amy's off living with Jacob in his bedsit now, though how they're paying for it we don't know because we still don't know what he does for a living. If he's not flogging drugs any more what does he do? Is he back on the chippy deliveries? Tracy rightly pointed out that she'd done the same thing. living with Robert in a bedsit in Hackney; she skipped past when she was 16 and lived with a sullen youth named Craig, although that might be because she had a different head then and had trouble remembering. I'm sure Amy will be back once the McDonalds realise she's an actual grown up now and start treating her as such. Never mind playing cards with Amy in the back room at number 1, Steve, take her out for a pint.
Adam couldn't win whatever he tried this week. He tried to move on with a random trollop in the pub, only for Daniel and Daisy to shove their oar in and cause him to get a patented Drink In The Face In The Rovers. He tried to be civilised with Sarah-Lou for Harry's sake, offering to take him to "that film he wanted to see", but she refused to let him see the boy. She claimed it was so he didn't end up confused but it was more likely she simply couldn't remember where she left Harry. And worst of all, his hair is growing out again.
If you know where I can get a pair of Gary Windass's checked trousers, please let the author know via Twitter @merseytart. Especially if they're the pair Gary actually wore.
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