The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 23rd and 25th August 1995

It was the end of an era as Ivy had a stroke in her religious retreat and died.  It was a sad send-off for a Corrie legend, but let's be honest, we all knew it was coming.  Don spread the news round the Street, upsetting Vera and causing Nicky to do one of his unconvincing spouts of anger.  He soon perked up when he received a letter from Ivy telling Nicky that the house was his.  Reg tried to kiss up to his new boss with a barbecue, but it didn't do much to impress him.  He admitted he was thinking of getting rid of both Reg and Curly.  The younger men of the Street decided to get fit and joined up for a five-a-side championship.  They still knocked back the bitter, mind.  And Percy got a letter from his neice telling him she only left Bill because he neglected her.  Bill was unimpressed.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally 28th and 30th August 1995

It was the day of Ivy's funeral and all the family gathered to say goodbye.  Most importantly there was a guest appearance from the icon that is IDA CLOUGH!  Sadly it was only for one episode but I look forward to her return in a couple of years working at Underworld.  She still found time for a gratuitous slanging match with Baldwin in the street though because she's a legend.  Josie did the sandwiches, but didn't attend the actual service.  Martin persuaded Nicky not to mention the letter from Ivy, a promise that lasted about fourteen minutes as he threw a strop at the funeral tea and told everyone that number 5 was now his.  Fiona and Maxine went on to cheer the five-a-side boys and were surprised to see how terrible they were.  Having finally finished Sally's kitchen, Bill had a look at a damp patch on Percy's ceiling.  It turned out to be a much larger job than he could handle and Emily's roof was going to need extensive repairs.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 1st and 4th September 1995

The Duckworths continued to revel in their new found wealth.  Jack bought a car, though he told Vera she wasn't insured to drive it; she told him in that case he'd have to ferry her about.  They also decided to view number 6, because weirdly Des still hasn't sold it.  Mavis was horrified by her potential new neighbours.  Percy was looking for somewhere to stay while the roof was under repair, and Emily managed to persuade Curly to put him up.  Emily was pleased until she started feeling a bit lonely.  Martin took Nicky to the solicitor, and it was confirmed that he'd inherited the lot - on the condition that he'd change his name back to Tilsley.  Ivy really was a spiteful witch, wasn't she?  Don claimed he had the right to stay in the house, but Josie suggested they move into her house and leave them to it.  Don refused to let Ivy win from beyond the grave.  Nicky meanwhile confessed to his girlfriend (at the Rosamund Street bus stop, which I don't remember seeing before) that he didn't want there to be a problem with his granddad.  Incidentally, Warren Jackson remains an absolutely terrible actor in his fourteenth year on the show.  Couldn't they send him to a Youth Theatre for lessons or something?

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 6th and 8th September 1995

Derek went into his performance review (shown in by secretary Bernice from Emmerdale, who banged away on her keyboard really unconvincingly) and was shocked to discover Norris was giving the assessment.  Norris made a load of snidey remarks that made Derek realise he was the man responsible for the Gnomenapping.  He told Norris what he thought of him, only to discover that he was being made an executive at Hawthorne's.  Don was pushing Josie away with his bitterness over Ivy and she warned him that she'd leave him forever if he didn't start being nicer.  Percy was enjoying his time at Curly's at took it upon himself to find him a girlfriend.  He went to Firman's and found a nice looking assistant he pointed in Curly's direction.  Little did he know that the girl was secret psychopath Anne Malone.  The Duckworth's brought Tommy back from Blackpool, spoiling him now they had the cash, and throwing him a party in Des's back garden.  The noise irritated the Wiltons and they took it as a bad sign for when they finally bought number 6.  Des also took Tommy out for a burger, and got a surprise when he saw who worked there: it was his ex-wife Steph, now pregnant.  She left him her number and the next day Des couldn't help himself and gave her a ring on his weird see-through perspex phone.

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 11th and 13th September 1995

The theme of today's episodes was "men are awful and will take advantage of women".  Des got himself all gussied up for Steph's visit, but she didn't show.  Depressed, he went to the pub with an over-keen Maxine, then slept with her to make himself feel better.  Poor Maxine thought it was the start of something special but then Steph turned up and confused him by telling him she wasn't with the father of her baby any more.  Still, it was great to see Dame Amelia Bullmore back in the show.  Betty took her cat to the vet's, and when she came back, she discovered she'd been burgled.  Billy nipped round to comfort her and help her out and then proposed marriage again.  Betty rightfully told him that she wasn't in the right frame of mind to discuss it.  Incidentally there were multiple scenes of Betty crying and that shouldn't be allowed.  The five a side team tried to rope in Leo Firman as a sponsor, with a tactics meeting at Curly's enlivened by Percy's military strategies.  He liked being one of the lads.  Leo was more interested in Raquel and he asked her out for a drink; she declined because he was Curly's boss, but finally relented.  Don went to a solicitor and found out he had the legal right to fight for number 5.  Gail was unhappy, because it was Ivy's house at the end of the day and she left it to her only grandson, and convinced herself that Josie must be the one making him bitter and unpleasant.  This couldn't be further from the truth as Josie wanted him to stop.  When Don chucked Gail out after a row Josie again tried to persuade him to move into her home.  He told her to keep her nose out because he's a deeply unpleasant humanoid.

I have very bad news for you: Newton and Ridley are going to put the Rovers up for sale next week.  This sadly means the beginning of the end for Ms Elizabeth Gilroy as a member of the cast.  Commiserate with me over on Twitter @merseytart.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every day from 14:50 and is also available on the ITV Hub.

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The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 31st July and 2nd August 1995

Alec resorted to desperate measures to stop Vicky from marrying Steve: shameless bribery.  He handed Steve a cheque for £5000, his on the condition that he left Vicky and never saw her again.  Steve told him to stuff it (though he did also suggest £8000 might be a better offer) and Vicky was furious with her granddad.  She announced that they were absconding to St Lucia to get married instead.  Mike agreed to let Roy stay on at Crimea Street if he kept his nose clean, but he should've been concentrating on his other tenants, as Tricia was spreading it round the Street that Deirdre was his bit on the side.  Word got to Audrey, and she passed it on to Alma; it distracted her from her business meeting and she ended up arguing with Mike.  He told her there was nothing in it and tried to get her to talk to Deirdre, but Alma chickened out.  Bill was worried about meeting Sally for the first time and decided to cook her a special tea.  He promptly set the kitchen on fire and had to call out the fire brigade.  And a puberty-stricken Nicky tried to get in with Fiona and Maxine at the cafe flat, pretending he was sixteen; they basically chewed him up and spat him out and he fled in terror.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 4th and 7th August 1995

Sally returned from her holiday (with a remarkably good tan considering she was meant to be in Wales) and discovered both her father-in-law and her wrecked kitchen.  He offered to rebuild it himself.  Sally was surprisingly calm about it all.  Imagine if 2020 Sally came back to a burnt out house; she'd have Tim's testicles dangling from a telegraph pole before sundown.  Jack and Vera also returned from their hols, chatting about buying timeshares, even though their inheritance cheque hadn't yet arrived.  Until then they were scrabbling around for cash, trying to get drinks on tick from the Rovers and passing off pesetas as ten pence pieces in the corner shop.  Bet gave Vicky a champagne breakfast and waved her off to her wedding abroad.  After she'd gone, Alec sat down with Bet and they had a heart-to-heart, a wonderful scene where he offered to stay with her at the Rovers.  She admitted she'd thought about it but still sent him off to Southampton.  Derek, meanwhile, got a parcel with a gnome's ear in it and a ransom note. Will this nightmare ever end?  Not Derek's, the viewers.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 9th and 11th August 1995

Deirdre was concerned when she heard a clattering outside the flats and reported a prowler to the police.  It turned out to be Jamie trying to sneak in; he'd forgotten his key and Tricia was out with a fancy man.  Deirdre took him in but had a word with Tricia the next day about neglecting him; she pointed out that her daughter was a pill popper so she couldn't exactly complain.  The policemen then headed to the Red Rec, where they arrested Derek for being a pervert loitering with intent after dark.  Weirdly they didn't believe his explanation, which was that he was hanging chocolate coins on the swing as a ransom for his missing gnome.  He ended up bellowing in the Street at the neighbours and I fear he's finally lost his mind.  (Incidentally the policemen were better known as Tom the teacher from Waterloo Road and Marlon Dingle).  Jack and Vera were reaching the end of their meagre savings, and having to ask for credit for a while, which caused them real heartbreak.  Luckily their cheque arrived from the solicitor's.  And in a sad little story, Des and Andy started tidying up before Phyllis arrived, because she could no longer cope.  At first she was offended but they had a chat and he agreed to pay her to do his ironing for him.  Bless.  She should've asked Des for a MIG fighter while he was at it.

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 14th and 16th August 1995

It was all go in the Holdsworth household.  Reg was thrilled to hear that Eric Firman, head of Firman's Freezers, was thinking of retiring, and assumed he'd be next in line.  There was also a prospective buyer for the Corner Shop, though Reg was less amused to find it was Vera and Jack.  He assumed they were just being nosy, but when Vera explained about their inheritance, he fell over himself to bow and scrape to her.  She looked at the books and discovered Alf still had an outstanding debt of £26 which amused her endlessly.  Liz was distracted, as she thought she might be pregnant.  She and Jim were in turmoil after their terrible experience with little Katie, so when it turned out to be a false alarm, they were both relieved and upset.  They decided to consider more permanent contraception.  Gail went to see Ivy at the religious retreat and discovered she was in a right state since Don wanted a divorce.  Don, obviously, couldn't give a monkey's, though Josie felt a bit sorry for her.

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 18th and 21st August 1995

Liz got a call from Steve to say the marriage with Vicky had gone ahead; she was sad she wasn't at the wedding.  Don't worry love, there's going to be loads more for you to buy hats for.  Jim meanwhile decided to get a vasectomy, much to Andy's amusement.  The Duckworths put in a ridiculously low offer for the shop and Reg threw it back in their face.  Unfortunately Jack had already handed in his notice at the pub, leaving Bet to hire Bill as the new cellarman.  They had a party anyway, inviting the Street to share in their good fortune, and Jack stuck some optics behind that tacky bar in his front room.  He also gave Vera the engagement ring he'd never been able to afford to give her before, which was very sweet.  Reg didn't get the promotion, with Eric installing his nephew Leo as the boss instead, so he tried to get the Duckworths to reconsider their bid.  They were far too busy enjoying their new-found wealth to care.

Nice though it is to see them happy, the Duckies with money seems weird somehow.  Tell me I'm wrong on Twitter @merseytart.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every day from 14:50 and on catchup at the ITV Hub.

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