Corrie's criminal characters

Don't worry yourselves - this isn't a comprehensive rundown of all the Weatherfield folk who have donned the orange tabard of doom whilst residing at Her Majesty's pleasure. No. This was more inspired by the slice of joy known as Callum. Callum of the Camp.

Recently, I'm beginning to see the hopeless drug baron as something of a guilty pleasure. His very wrong-ness has become his greatest asset. Take last week when he was called to storm across the cobbles to threaten Sarah. He may as well have swooshed across in a Vera Wang gown. Lots of laughs in my household and Callum, job well done. He is a fantastically terrible character but is he the worst? In my ever-so-humble opinion, Callum may have a way to go before he eclipses any of the following . . .

Amy Burton
Poor old Corrie was in a bit of a pickle, harridan-wise, following the departure of Ena Sharples in 1980. Phyllis Pearce had been wheeled in as a potential replacement gorgon during 1982 and though much-heralded in the tabloids as being the new Ena, she never really reached those dizzy heights. Fast-forward to 1987 and the introduction of Vera Duckworth's mother, Amy Burton. Oh dear. This was a disaster from the off. Fanny Carby, much like the early performances of Shelly King, decided that the only way to deliver the lines was to the back row of the theatre. More importantly though, Amy was an unlovely old trout. Sly, thieving and hectoring, she was shoe-horned into Hilda Ogden's old char-lady job at the Rovers. The comparisons were unfavourable. The producers had her perform every scene dressed in some daft turban. By March 1988 enough was enough and the old drear disappeared forever.

Lauren Wilson
Towards the end of 2007, an attempt was made to brighten up the life of eternal dull-fest Violet Wilson by providing her with a 'fun' younger sister. Enter the incredibly annoying Lauren, a thick-skinned trollette who, we were assured, had been a big hit in the bars of Ayia Napa. She had a grand total of zero redeeming qualities as she blagged free digs from Eileen, used Darryl Morton as her personal ATM and strong-armed Sean into taking her on holiday. He returned from Spain alone and one can only surmise that an unclaimed baggage is still travelling the carousel at Malaga International.

Ravi Desai
Awful, lecherous old goat who took over the Corner Shop in early 1999 and was gone by the end of summer. Another 'booming' performance brought numerous scenes with women being addressed as 'dear lady'. Ravi seemed to alienate his worthy if dull daughter Nita and clashed with son Vik over his dalliance with Leanne Tilsley. Thankfully Ravi sold the shop on to his shy and retiring nephew, Dev Alahan.

Andrea Clayton
Three cheers for Weatherfield's weariest teen, Andrea Clayton. The achingly boring Claytons took up residence at number 11 in early 1985. It soon became apparent to the viewer that we would be treated to many months of Andrea agonising about her forthcoming exams. On she droned as days turned into weeks that seemingly turned into millennia. By summer, the UK crossed its collective fingers and prayed for three straight fails. Sadly Andrea got her three A-levels plus a little something extra from Terry Duckworth. Not that we cared.

Greg Kelly
As unlikely a character you could ever meet. Supposedly Greg was the long, lost son of Street ne'er-do-well Les Battersby. He apparently hailed from somewhere in the north west although his accent hovered between Watford Gap and Brighton Pride. Greg was an unlikely . . . make that 'totally unbelievable' ladies man who dallied with Maxine Heavey before moving on to gullible Sally Webster and her £50K inheritance. Greg also inherited 'the girls' aka Roseh and Sopheh who he pouted at and ignored.His life seemed to be lived in a state of dull hysteria, a fair bit of flouncing and barely disguised moments of camp. Which brings us nicely back to . ..

Callum. Compared to the selection of mediocrity listed above, maybe our Cal isn't quite so bad. He at least has a loyal companion in the form of Vicky Pollard Gemma and he dotes on Maxeh. Is he bad or  bland? Earlier this week I noticed that he had a lengthy tattoo down one arm. If it belongs to the actor, the it could be something quite meaningful. If it belongs to Callum, then it's probably a recipe for a Victoria sponge.

By David Bridgman
Twitter: @BridgLondon


Download our free App | Follow on Twitter @CoroStreetBlog | Like on Facebook | Visit Corrie.net



All original work on the Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Corrie on Camping

The current chit-chat relating to Corrie's current one-man campfest, Callum 'who dear? me dear?' Logan serves to remind us of the show's historical fey (as opposed to 'Faye') undertones.

They have always been there of course, right from day one with Elsie archly commenting on her own looks. Tony Warren ensured that a certain camp aesthetic ran through the script and at a time when there was no possibility of a gay character on t'cobbles, it was down to the ladies to help lighten the load.

Although the idea of Albert Tatlock swishing into the Rovers with a clutch bag or Ken holding court in the Rovers 'a la Kenneth Williams' would have been fun. Instead we had brassy 'n' bad Elsie, tart with a heart Bet and snobby Annie on hand to provide the knowing looks and cutting one-liners. To this day, the tradition continues in the form of Sally, Liz, Julie and Carla.

As with Callum and the wonderful Jez Quigley, camp doesn't have to mean gay. Corrie has had some delightfully 'light' characters tripping across the cobbles down the years. Norris Cole has been a bastion of camp for almost 20 years. He is a sniffy old woman disguised under a tank top. Any camper and he would be folding his arms under his bosoms and sniffing loudly. Norris isn't 'fun' camp though. He's Ena Sharples for the new Millennium.

Alec Gilroy and Fred Elliott also provided us with numerous camp moments. These were probably down to, particularly in John Savident's case, a theatrical style of performance. Savident always delivered Fred's lines as though it was to the back row of the London Palladium (see also Yasmeen Nazir). This exaggerated style became synonymous with Fred and was part of the character's charm. Alec too was camp writ large, with his endless fussing.

Of the younger cast, there aren't all that many characters, other than Sean, who have had a touch of the Charles Hawtreys. Steve is possibly the closest, thanks to the slightly over-the-top facial expressions and his tendency to opt for a high vocal in some scenes. Dev continues the fine tradition of Fred Elliott with his booming performances and occasional fey mannerisms. Those two aside though, the blokes are pretty much blokey.

For those who worry about another week of Callum sweeping across the cobbles with all the swagger and bravado of Celia Johnson circa 1946, here's two words for you. Greg Kelly.

Cast your mind back to the somewhat unbelievable macho man, seed of Les Battersby, who caused the faktry girls to coo and flutter their eyelids and who eventually bedded Sally. Poor old Greg. No wonder he was so unhappy, mincing around Weatherfield, desperate to order a Cinzano and lemon in the Rovers or rifle through Sally's Bananarama CDs. If you think Callum is the Street's campest ever baddy, then revisit the Greg Kelly years. Even Frankie Howerd would have raised a glass of sherry in admiration.  Watch him on YouTube here.

By Clinkers to Riddle

Download our App | Follow on Twitter @CoroStreetBlog | Like on Facebook



All original work on the Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License