Coronation Street featuring on Drama Trails

I see that Coronation Street features in a programme on ITV1 tomorrow night (Sunday 1st August) at 10.15pm, called Drama Trails.

It's a new ten part documentary series in which James Nesbitt narrates the stories behind drama series. This hour long edition features Corrie, Wycliffe and Kingdom.

Bet Lynch - a good comeback?

I just got home after a looooong week at two jobs and was in the need of Trashy Telly. I don't generally watch much TV, but it's been that kind of week. So I've found Christopher Biggins presenting the Top 50 Showbiz Comebacks. (What is the point of Christopher Biggings, by the way? He's just like Professionally Camp, or something.) Anyway, at Number 14 was the lovely Bet. She didn't exactly come back for long though, did she? I would say that a come back would demand that you were as big or bigger than you were before, and Bet most definitely was not.

Anyway, watching the clip of her leaving the first time in 1995 made me realise that that is one of my earliest Corrie memories. My dad watched Corrie a lot, and I, at the tender age of 11, was mesmerised by Bet's hair. How did it stay up???

Looking for a photo of Bet I found this amazingness. I'll ignore Hilda's overalls and Vera's unfathomable pink... thing... Concentrate instead on Bet's gorgeous dress and white bangle and beads. I think this look is old enough to be now back in fashion - gorgeous! What's your earliest Corrie memory?

Steve Huison is still doing portraits

What a fab excuse to get this photo out again (not that I need one!)

Steve Huison (Coronation Street's Eddie Windass) is still doing portraits as a fund-raiser for mental health charity Soteria - if you'd like one done, send a minimum donation of £20 and a photograph - details are here

Best legs on Corrie!!

Last chance to enter to win Corrie! stage play competition

The deadline for entries to win 2 tickets to Corrie! the Coronation Street stage play is 5pm today - Friday 30 July.

Enter the competition here.

Corrie cast take Pride of place

Coronation Street's Julie Hesmondhalgh (Hayley Cropper), Antony Cotton (Sean Tully) and Kym Marsh (Michelle Connor) have had their photos taken for Manchester Pride’s first celebrity photograph exhibition.

The Welcome To My World photographic exhibition will be on display at Selfridges Manchester department store from August 20 and will run during the Pride celebrations. Limited edition prints will be available to buy, with all profits donated to the Manchester Pride charity.

Find out more here.

Jonathan Harvey on Corrie! the stage play

There's an interview in the Liverpool Echo with native 'pooler Jonathan Harvey, one of the Coronation Street writers. Jonathan is the man behind the pen of the new 2 hour condensed tribute to 50 years of Coronation Street, "Corrie!", opening in August at Manchester's Lowry Theatre.

It was a lot of hard work, but he had a good research assistant, Lyn Papadopoulos, who watched endless hours of Corrie to glean the best bits for the stage play. He says that Gail, Ken and Deirdre are lynchpins with only 5 actors playing all the parts, number up close to 50! There's a little bit of everything, humour, drama and all that Corrie is famous for, and they'll even touch on the original viaduct crash, something that Mr. Harvey is currently busy working on (with other writers, I assume) in anticipation of the 50th anniversary storyline dealing with a tram crashing off the viaduct.

Spot the Corrie Prop - July 30, 2010

Last week's Spot the Prop was clearly too easy as everyone seemed to know that Michelle Connor has a penchant for pictures of shoes. Who'd have guessed?

Hopefully we've got a harder one for you this week, though the observational skills of our blog readers never cease to amaze. So, where on Coronation Street might you find this lovely lamp?

Poked: Thu July 29, 2010 Corrie Episode Review

Written by John Kerr, directed by Tim Dowd

John’s accommodating Fiz so that she doesn’t suspect that he’s a liar – again. He gets a text from Charlotte and makes an excuse to leave the house by saying they’re out of washing up liquid. Charlotte sees him with the bottle and asks what he’s doing with that – going to wash her dirty mind perhaps? John wants to leave before anyone sees them. Too late, because Fiz saw them leave through the upstairs window, and she had that familiar horrified look on her face. Charlotte and John show up at Colin’s place and Charlotte says he’s going to be difficult since he needs that job at the book shop, therefore he needs his identification to “check out.” John tells her that it’s over and he’ll be down at the job centre. Charlotte can’t let that slippery fish get away and wants him all to herself. He says that he is grateful for all that she’s done and she says she’ll be reminding him of that.

At TempUnderworld, the factory girls aren’t satisfied with the working conditions and wonder when they’ll be able to go to the old factory again. Some don’t want to go back thinking it’d be dead creepy. Janice notes that the ghost of Tony Gordon would be rattling around. Not long that Janice and Sally are at each others throats again. Janice says that they could exorcise the place, and she’s sure her Sophie knows plenty of vicars who could do it. Sally points out that she’ll ask her. Fiz has a snappy attitude with everyone at work and we at home know why.

Fiz comes home from work to John pretending all is normal – as usual. Fiz confronts John about how she saw him driving around with Charlotte. He still tries to play dumb and lie until she says that she saw her. John says the only reason that Charlotte came over is because Colin needed the documents that he took from him. Lies, lies, more lies! Fiz wants to know what that has to do with Charlotte. She yells at John that she’s sick of him sneaking about and lying and she wants it to stop now. That angry boyfriend of Vicky’s returns again, comes into the house and locks the door behind him. The Stapes are terrified now.

Fiz wants to know who this man thinks he is and that he cant just go barging into other people’s houses. Why don’t you call the police then? John says he already told him everything he wanted to know about Colin. The man knows that John lied to him about Colin still being in Canada since a mate of his saw him in a shopping centre. John says that Colin came back but he only found out about it the other day. The man when to punch John when Fiz told him that Colin’s working in a book shop in town. This information pacifies the man for now, but if he doesn’t find Colin, he’s coming back. The man leaves, and John is worried for Colin but Fiz says he can’t and that this has all gone on long enough and she wants it to stop. She says it to him again: no more Colin, no more Charlotte, no more lies.

As to be expected, Colin arrives at John’s angry with a battered face and body. Colin blames everything that has happened to him on John – and rightfully so. John says that Fiz told him where he worked, but only to protect John. So, yeah, still John’s fault. Colin tells John that there’s something he can do and he’ll do it. Colin requests two thousand pounds from John, after all he did for him, that’s not a lot to ask. John cries that he hasn’t got that kind of money. Well, he would have had he not given that tart (Rosie Webster) all the money from the sale of his Gran’s house! I don’t know what the issue is here for John. Obviously, he should use Colin’s identity to take some credit out on, THEN pay him with that money. Problem solved Stape-style! Colin threatens John that if he doesn’t get him that two thousand pounds by tomorrow, the next person coming through his door will be the police. Uh oh, the “p” word. Think fast John!

At the salon, David and Natasha are browsing through Audrey’s Greece travel pamphlets and want to know which one she’s got her eye on. She doesn’t want them touching her brochures, since there are also properties to buy in the pile. Audrey tells them about Lewis’ dream to open a small hotel in Alonissos. Can I come? Natasha says she sounds like Lewis’ business partner the way she’s going on about the place. Audrey tells them that that has been discussed. Yeah, let me guess, she’s the silent partner that fronts the money. Of course, David immediately needs to know what’s going to happen to his job at the salon. Maria arrives and hears the news of Audrey possibly moving and mentions that she’ll buy. Natasha tells her snarkily that so is she, so to join the queue and points behind her. David is just loving these women fight like “two hyenas over a carcass.” Audrey mistakes that to mean that she is the carcass. Haha. David says if his Gran is going to leave, he’d be the one happy there to run the place.

Audrey sees Gail in the street, and gets a somewhat frosty reception. Gail acknowledges that she has not got the best track record when it comes to men – you can say that again! Gail says that Lewis just isn’t the man she would have chosen for Audrey. Really? I think he’s just the man I could see that silly Audrey with! Gail says that moving abroad with someone she just met is risky, as is. Audrey says she’s scared that she could let her last chance of happiness slip away. Gail tells her then, she hopes it works out for her.

Just when Audrey and Lewis were looking forward to a quiet drink in the Rovers (that’s what home is for!), Maria comes in and tries to weasel her way into running the salon, but Audrey confirms that she won’t be making any decisions until she returns from her holidays. So much for that quiet drink. Audrey returns to the salon to do Gail’s hair and walks in to find Natasha and David fighting for Gail’s appointment. Gail says that her mum always does her hair and Audrey ushers out David and Natasha again. Lewis takes this opportunity to try and convince Gail once again that he’s very fond of her mother. He’s got a very intimidating stance with Gail and I haven’t really ever seen him talk to anyone else. How threatening! Gail’s got a better face on today, but Lewis knows that the jury’s still out on him in her mind.

Slimy Lewis goes into the bookies, as usual and asks if Leanne is around since he doesn’t want to get Deirdre in trouble. He bought Deirdre a bottle of red to apologize for what happened the other day. Lewis tells Deirdre that he and Audrey are leaving for Greece soon just for a few days, but between he and her, he’d like it to be a bit more permanent. Deirdre tells him that he’d certainly be missed around there. No, he wouldn’t – only by her! Another one that got away Deirdre!

At the Rovers, Deirdre tells Liz all about Lewis giving her the bottle and how he’s happy with Audrey – more’s the pity. Again, Liz has noticed a strange man giving her the eye. Liz thinks that he’s giving the glad eye to Deirdre, but we know it’s for her! Deirdre figures they might just be late bloomers finally starting to bloom! Oh, Deirdre missed her calling as a comedienne. The gent comes over and calls Liz by her name. She asks if she knows him, and he says she should do since he poked her last night. A few times in fact. The horrified looks on Liz and Deirdre’s faces are priceless!!! Liz tells him to get out, and of course he’s confused as Sean rubs his brow in guilt.

Sean tells Michelle how he was drunk and bored so he went on Liz’s chat room. He just got talking since he had a few drinks. He had no clue that they’d be coming to the Rovers. Michelle reminds him that he put down her occupation as “Landlady of the Rovers Return.” Sean’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, now is he? Sean thinks that he might do Liz a favour. Michelle tells him to get rid of the bit about where she works since there are more blokes coming in there to hit on Liz than there are to hit on her, and that’s just wrong.

Sally goes to the garage to see if Kev had a word with Tyrone about buying the shares in the garage. Kev tells her she’s made Tyrone an offer and it looks as though he’s going to take it! Sally thinks Kev needs to put pressure on Tyrone to sign, otherwise the more time he has to think, he’ll think he can get a better deal. Kev tells Sally that he’s not going to stitch Tyrone up, since he’s still a mate and he owes him. She asks for what? Oh, you don’t want to know. Kev says nothing, and offers that they go eat.

Sophie and Sian really want to go to that music festival, and Sophie says she was going to ask Sally when she gets back. Sophie thinks it’s best to just ask her mum straight up since she always knows when you’re after something. Sophie and Sian tell Sally about the music festival and how “brilliant” it is and that it’s for four days and you take your own tent. The “four days” part was where Sally said “no way.” She won’t have her daughter sleeping a tent for four days with a bunch of hippies smoking drugs. Sophie promises she won’t be taking drugs and that Sian will be with her. I’m with Sally, I wouldn’t have my fifteen year old daughter and her friend sleeping in a tent at a music festival for four days. That’s only, of course, because I know what goes on at those things and it’s nowt to do with hippies! Sally says that she’s not old enough to go to something like that. How did Ryan figure that he’d be able to take Sian to begin with?

Meanwhile, Cheryl is trying to find some more appropriate “day time” work. She’s calling around, but it seems she lacks the proper experience. It’s Russ’ birthday soon, and like any other kid, he wants some expensive gift that his parent cannot possible afford. Especially now that he’s down to one parent with no job. Russ is very upset when told he couldn’t have the gift. Lloyd overhears and feels bad for them, and tells Cheryl he’s got a few quid put by and she can call it a loan. Cheryl turns him down since he’s done enough for them already. Cheryl couldn’t afford to put her son in a good footy program, so Lloyd found the free one that Claire takes her Joshua to, and tells Russ that he can attend that one. Russ thinks it’ll be not as good since it’s free, but thanks Lloyd anyway on Cheryl’s insistence. Lloyd takes Russ down to the rec to kick around the ball. Cheryl gets a call from Chris and tells him to leave them alone. Will he ever go away?

HIGHLIGHTS
- Janice noting to the factory girls that the ghost of Tony Gordon would be rattling around at the Underworld building! That IS creepy. Knowing Tony, he’d haunt.
- Sally and Janice back again as sparring partners at Underworld! The terrier and the bulldog back at it!
- Deirdre’s gritted-teeth jealousy when Lewis tells her that he’s off for Greece tomorrow with Audrey.
- Liz to mystery gent: “Do I know you?” Mystery Gent: “You should do, I poked you last night.” The looks on Deirdre and Liz’s face: priceless.
- Colin’s tooth falling out of his mouth as he says the world “police.”

LOWLIGHTS
- Natasha, Maria and David fighting over Audrey’s salon before she’s even booked a ticket to Greece! Greedy little things!
- This creeper ex-man of Vicky’s that Colin dated barging into Fiz’s house and basically stalking them! What a creeper!
- This poor Colin! He gets his identity stolen, his heart broken, and probably his face broken soon, and well…you know what else will happen.
- Deirdre figuring that her and Liz might be late developers, finally starting to bloom. No. I know it was a joke, but no.
- What is Sean thinking using Liz’s profile to chat to men? He is one dim bulb!

State of the Street, July 2010

Yes, it's that time of the month again. No, no, no... I mean, it's time to examine the State of Coronation Street for the month of July. Stape's web of lies is unravelling very quickly and I'm loving Chesney's attitude. I wish Fiz would get a little of that! Charlotte, however, has enough attitude for all three of them! Loving her, too! Lewis is getting his feet under Audrey's table but it looks like he's setting her up for a scam. Sunita's dissatisfied with being a stay at home mom and Mary's living her dreams through Hayley's upcoming wedding (finally!) to Royston. Read all about it here.

Ben Price in Best magazine

Oops! I finally reached the end of Best magazine (when reading it to my poorly neighbour) and after reading the feature on Debbie Rush - Corrie's brilliant Anna Windass, which I blogged the other day - I found a short interview with Ben Price - Coronation Street's Nick Tilsley - on the last page.

As stated before it's in this week's paper edition, dated 3rd August.

Ben briefly discusses his roles in Corrie and in Footballer's Wives (pictured). I thought he was great in that! I also really like him as Nick. He's such a good actor.

He says that his favourite body parts (his own) are his ears as they stick out a little! He also says he thinks that he MIGHT survive the tram crash, but can't be certain.

Is Coronation Street getting miserable?

Yesterday on Facebook, the Coronation Street group was publicising the previews for next week and asked contributors to spot the connection between the pictures. You may like to have a go yourself. The only connection that I could find was that none of the pictures showed anybody smiling. Indeed, the only picture with any joy in it was of Lloyd and Cheryl kissing, though even that is tinged with sadness as it precedes a confrontation between Lloyd and Cheryl's husband, Chris.

Now I don't mind a bit of misery on Corrie as I think they do the drama that goes with it very well but whenever there's some sadness on the Street it's usually balanced by some humour elsewhere on the cobbles. Is this just a case of using the misery as a publicity vehicle and ignoring the comedy and joy or is the sign of something more sinister?

We have a new producer and it concerns me that he sees the success of the BBC's ultra-miserable rival and wants to emulate it in the chase for ratings and awards. Please don't drag Corrie down to the levels of that other soap. Yes, I want drama but I also want humour, happiness and joy with it as well.

Brooke talks about Sophie's journey

There's a good article over on SheWired.com with an interview with Brooke Vincent. It's all about the journey that Sian and Sophie have made from best friends to coupledom. Brooke talks about filming with Sascha Parkinson, her long time friend and says that although confused at first, Sophie now accepts that she's a normal girl who just happens to be a lesbian. Her new found faith in God isn't an issue either because Sophie believes God accepts her for who she is as well.

Steve McDonald gurn of the week, July 29 2010

It's Thursday and that means only one thing... time for the Steve McDonald gurn of the week. Thanks go to our Coronation Street blogger Tvor for sending in this week's fab Stevie McGurn. If you've captured a good Corrie Steve gurn and want to share it via the blog, do email it in. To see more gurnage from Stevie McGurn, have a look here, there's loads. Some good, some bad and some really very funny.

Sneak Preview of next week's Corrie, August 2 - 5

Without any piffle, here's the storyline for the week ahead on Coronation Street, all wrapped up nicely in 50 words or less.

Week of Monday 2 August to Friday 6 August

Colin’s body’s in danger of being dug up, John’s in bother with Carla, Charlotte and Fiz, Cheryl and Lloyd grow close, Gail frets about Audrey and Lewis, Owen offers Jason work and Chesney buys a van (but can he drive?!)

The full weekly preview, with loads of pictures, is right here on Corrie.net

Missed last week's Corrie?
Catch up with the Coronation Street weekly updates.

Jim McDonald joins Corrie stage play

Charles Lawson, who played Coronation Street's Jim McDonald, has been unveiled as the narrator of the stage version of the soap.

Corrie!, which opens at The Lowry in Salford on August 12, condenses the past five decades of the programme into a two-hour play. Charles said: “I am delighted to be narrating the piece and I am looking forward to this 50th celebration of the ‘established church”.

Also, the full cast lineup has been confirmed as Leanne Best, Simon Chadwick, Katherine Dow Blyton, Matthew Wait and Josie Walker - who will play all the roles between them. Chadwick, Blyton and Wait have all had minor Corrie parts in the past. Anyone know who they played?

After reading through the play's script Coronation Street creator Tony Warren described the play as “an insider’s affectionate romp through 50 dramatic years.”

And, most interestingly, the ITV press release says that the Corrie! stage play is unrelated to the Coronation Street musical project - so it looks like that might still be on the boards...

Fancy winning two tickets to the Corrie! stage show in our exclusive competition?
Click here!

David and Tina rape story off the boards?

The rumours in the media a month or so ago told us that David Platt was going to take his revenge on former girlfriend Tina in a horrific way.

They said he would rape her in his attempts to get her back after she fell in love with his best friend Graeme. The reports today are saying it sounds like the storyline has been dropped.

ITV has said that what actually happens is that David persues her and pushes her down to the sofa but backs off and leaves. As angry as David is about all this, I really don't think he's got it in him to rape her though the scenario is frighteningly realistic just the same. If there was a rape in the original storyline, perhaps the negative feedback was so strong that they've ramped it down. The current reported storyline (which is pretty much what I suspected all along) sounds a lot more like Corrie and a lot less like That Other Soap, thankfully!

Corrie Crazy in Canada

There's a documentary being made in Canada about Coronation Street and Canadian fans. It's called Corrie Crazy and it will be shown on CBC on December 9, in conjunction with the 50th anniversary (even though Canadians won't see ITV's anniversary storylines on CBC until the fall in 2011!!! Tsk!). Over the last few weeks, I and a couple of friends of mine were all filmed in conjunction with this documentary. Naturally, I've blogged about my experiences. Deborah Cyr has also sent along some comments and photos and Mark Grant spent the day on board his Canadian Naval vessel with the crew and host of the documentary. He had so much to tell that he's got his own blog post here!

New Corrie charity song released

Musician Paul Bowen has released a Coronation Street-related song to raise funds for Help For Heroes. It's called 'If I Could Hear The Corrie Theme' and has been specially written to raise money in support of the charity that provides direct, practical support for the wounded returning from Afghanistan.

All profits from downloads and CD sales will go to the charity.

You can download the song securely through PayPal, from Paul's website at http://www.paulbowenmusic.com/ and hear a snippet of it at his MySpace site.

ITV Job Vacancy: Storyliner - Coronation Street (maternity cover)

ITV have a vacancy up in Manchester for a Storyliner at Coronation Street (maternity cover).

The deadline for applications is 6 August. Full details are here.

ITV Job Vacancy: Senior Digital Producer – Soaps

ITV have a vacancy up in Manchester for a Senior Digital Producer – Soaps.

The deadline for applications is 27 July. Full details are here.

Dobbs speculation

They'll soon be filming the birth of baby Dobbs, I would think. The filming for Corrie is usually about 6 weeks in advance and the baby is due to appear in September. It won't be long after that when we see Molly leave the show, supposedly killed off at Christmas. Tram crash...December...lying in a hospital at death's door for a few weeks before she expires at Christmas...what are the odds? Pretty good, I'd say, if the rumour is true. They also speculate that Sally and Kevin are going to raise baby Jack Dobbs. Hmmm...

So...where's Tyrone? Does this mean that the truth of the baby's parentage comes out? Or is Tyrone going to be killed as well, leaving the baby an orphan for "best friend" Kevin and his wife to take the baby in. You certainly wouldn't give Jackie Dobbs the baby and I'm guessing Diggory is a bit on the old side to be raising an infant alone. Or maybe Tyrone finds out the baby is Kevin's, takes the garage buyout and leaves after Molly dies and that's how Kevin ends up with the baby.

What I would love to see is the truth of the affair and baby coming out and Sally and Tyrone kicking their respective cheating spouses out on their respective cheating backsides. I'd like to see Tyrone find out the baby is definitely his and leave the street, taking the baby with him. Unfortunately, it means we'd lose Tyrone but I can't see him staying partners with Kevin and raising the baby across the road from him under the circumstances. All this is purely speculation, and I suspect the truth will be a lot more dramatic because, you know, it has to be "gripping" and "explosive".

How do you think this will all play out?

Debbie Rush holiday snaps in Best magazine

I love Debbie Rush's performances as Coronation Street's Anna Windass. But when I opened this week's Best magazine (paper edition dated 3rd August - you can see two of Debbie's now and then photos on a small picture of the front cover online but that's it - I buy it for a poorly neighbour you understand) I thought - oh, for heaven's sake. Not another one. I'm all for them folks on telly keeping it real, don't get me wrong. And I'm not pointing the finger - if anyone saw ME parading in a swimsuit, it would make them barf into their cornflakes. I wouldn't put them through it.

Debbie is pictured in full make-up posing in swimsuits with her stomach sticking out and looking kind of on the large side. She says the Corrie canteen has been her downfall and that she's now taking a healthy packed lunch into work with her instead. The headline states "My Big Fat Embarrassing Holiday Snaps" - if you're embarrassed though, why plaster them all over a mag? There's a current craze for "candid" snaps of celebs on the beach or jogging in bikinis in the park, with enormous bellies and thighs that would frighten a horse. And then, six months later - round about Christmas time, say - hey presto - they're skinny as a rake and they've got a fitness DVD selling like hotcakes. Six months later they're fat again and saying they've developed an eating disorder. I'm not saying Debbie's going to go down that route, but many do. I suppose we all need to earn a buck somehow.

What's happened to Prima Doner?

I'm disappointed we no longer see anything to do with the Prima Doner kebab shop on Coronation Street. Now Darryl and Teresa Morton have moved onto pastures new, and Minnie has disappeared from Weatherfield never to be seen again, we no longer see anything to do with the takeaway.

As far as I'm aware Dev still owns it, doesn't he? Couldn't they return to using this set again; perhaps give Kirk a job in there so he actually has something to do, and isn't just looking out of place in the background at Underworld!

Drink battle ahead for Carla Connor

Carla Connor is set to struggle with alcoholism in the next few months, it has been reported today.

She swaps her usual red wine for whisky, and even resorts to drinking before breakfast! Perhaps this will tie in with the departure of boyfriend Trevor from Coronation Street.

Looks like another big storyline ahead for Alison King, and I'm delighted to see Carla back at the forefront of the show. Not sure about this storyline though, feels like they've just done this with Peter Barlow. Hopefully it will grow on me!

Corrie goes to Romania

Yes, I realise that Coronation Street's Romanian Holiday was released in the UK last October but here in Canada, we're just coming up to the departure of Roy and Hayley for Frankie's wedding.

It was mentioned this past week on our screens and the wedding should take place in a couple of weeks' time.

With that in mind, I finally got round to reviewing the DVD and writing a summary of the Croppers' adventures in Romania.

You can view the full text of it over here on my Canadian timeline Corrie blog. There's also another review by Flaming Nora here.

Desperate Fishwives: Mon July 26, 2010 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Damon Rochefort (7:30) and Jonathan Harvey (8:30), directed by Tim Dowd

It’s the morning after Audrey’s 70t birthday blow out/up, and she’s looking back on her “memories” book presented to her by family. Lewis asks her if she’s feeling reflective, but Audrey says it’s more like mortified. Lewis is confused as to why his old job as an escort defines him, since he’s had many jobs: concierge, maitre d’, nude model. Audrey asks if there are any more career surprises, porn star, perhaps? Lewis is more of a “private dancer” if you know what I mean. Audrey is angry that folk around there think of her as a good time girl who married for money. Funny, I wonder what would make them think that?

At Gail’s, everyone thinks it’s hilarious that Audrey is living with an escort, well, everyone except for Gail that is! Nick and David have playfully nicknamed Lewis “Midnight Cowboy,” a film that Natasha has never seen. David says he’s worried about his inheritance after the bill Audrey must have wracked up when Gail asks if anyone else is worried. Nick figures that Lewis is a nice guy that makes Gran happy, so who cares? Well, Audrey herself, really. Audrey feels as though the whole world is looking down on them, which is a completely self-centered Audrey thing to think. Audrey dreams over a story about some client she had that ran away to Jamaica with a younger man and lives on the beach looking ten years older. Lewis asks if she’s really thinking about grabbing a piece of paradise. Lewis reminds her that running away never really helps, and it’s expensive. Audrey figures it’ll be affordable as soon as she sells up her house and business. Audrey tells him she’d leave her house and family just for him, and he’s genuinely surprised.

As the old going says, misery loves hired company, I think. Ken sees Lewis at the bar and talks to him gigolo a gigolo. Lewis tells Ken that he never thought he’d be the kind of man to settle down, so Ken spills about “Martha and the Barge.” He shouldn’t say too much, he could be giving Lewis some new leads here. Lewis wants to know if Ken thinks he made the right choice, and Ken thinks he probably did since familiarity has a beauty all in it’s own. Ken says he’s sure that he’ll be as happy with Audrey as he is with Deirdre. Was that a backhanded compliment? Lewis doesn’t look too happy at the thought of that.

David tells Audrey that if she thinks there’s nothing shameful about being an escort, then she wouldn’t mind if he started doing it. Ha, yeah, David’s clients won’t be exactly what he’d wish for. I’m sure not even the gender he would wish for. David tries to compare himself to Lewis but Audrey just tells him to go get on. She kicks both David and Natasha out of the salon. Later, Nick comes in to ask his Gran something but gets interrupted by Natasha, so agrees to let her trim his hair. Later, Gail finds Audrey and tells her she owes her an apology. Audrey tells Gail that who she goes out with is her business. She tells Gail she needs a drink and asks if she’s coming. At the Rovers, Audrey is afraid that Lewis will probably leave now. Audrey manages to insult Gail to the fullest in her own self-indulgent wallowing.

Audrey finally finds Lewis after not being able to get a hold of him all day, and finally relaxes. Yes, he’s still in Weatherfield. Lewis produces a brochure for a Greek island to Audrey and suggests they go for a weekend, and if she likes it they can consider moving there permanently. Audrey is, of course, delighted at this prospect. The loved up couple can’t get a moments rest. David comes in the pub and tells Lewis that he’s thinking of taking up escorting and asks how much he charges. It is a perfectly reasonable question. He then asks if anyone has ever died on him, you know, ON him. Lewis tells David that he’s not sure he’s “man” enough for his line of business. Ouch! Nice come back! Lewis needs money to pay for this trip, so of course, he’s in the bookies with Deirdre. I wonder if any of the horses are named “Midnight Cowboy?” I’d put my money on that one if I were him! Lewis is a bit more direct this time. He tells Deirdre a porkie that Eccles, the dog, has been wandering. When Deirdre pops out, Lewis pops behind the counter and writes a fake betting slip. Suddenly, Leanne comes in and finds Lewis behind the counter and asks what’s going on. Lewis tells her that Deirdre had to pop out and Leanne is upset since she should have called her or closed shop and asks Lewis to get out from behind the counter. Just like an old prossie to know that another old prossie’s no good. Lewis places his “phony” bet and gets out of there.

Deirdre is back and tries to apologize to Leanne and says that it was an emergency, but Leanne thinks that Ken could have gone out on a mad dash for Eccles. Deirdre says that that dog was her mother’s and if anything had happened to her. Leanne says that if Peter found out the place had been unmanned it’d be both their backsides. Lewis comes in later after falsifying a betting slip in the cafe earlier. Deirdre goes up the stairs to put them on a cuppa, and Lewis slides behind the counter again and does a switcheroo. He tells Deirdre he put a bet on earlier, but doesn’t remember what he put on it, since Leanne was so angry. Wow, you’re never going to believe it, but he’s only won three hundred quid on “Wendy’s Bar.”

Later, Audrey and Lewis tell Gail that they’re happy together, and that Lewis has paid for the trip – all by himself. Just to rub salt in the wound, Audrey tells Gail that her and Lewis are thinking of buying a little property there. Oh Audrey, act your age, not your shoe size!"

Well, Audrey’s ears should be burning right about now since Liz and Eileen are gossiping about her in the Rovers. Eileen figures she should have hired a man a long time ago. Well, she just got a raise, perhaps she should! Liz figures the whole story is like of them big American glossy TV shows. Only, much, much better! Eileen entitles it “Desperate Fishwives!'” Their laughter is short lived as Lewis sidles up to the bar. Liz has been noticing a few men giving her some attention today and thinks it’s due to her wearing some of Becky’s perfume since she ran out of hers. So, THAT’s how she bagged Steve!

After work, Sean tells Fiz that he has a hangover not from going out on the town, but from drinking Eileen’s Christmas sherry while looking at pictures of Dylan all depressed. Fiz warns him against Liz finding out about him using her image on FaceScene. At work at the Rovers, Liz has even more gents coming in and hitting on her, so much that I’m sure her headspace as grown at least an inch. Liz reckons that it must be Becky’s perfume and squirts more on. Sean takes the bottle had has a shower in the stuff! Liz is just basking in the complimentary gents coming in, figuring she’s got a face that says “approachable.” The sleazy biker guy that’s been hooting at Liz all night slaps her on the behind, so she grabs him and tells him that he’s kicked out. He tells her she’s a lot frostier in the flesh and looks nowt like her picture. Liz is confused by Sean and is horrified. He realizes that the man knew Liz through her fake profile on FaceScene.

Carla and Nick go into Underworld, aka Underconstruction, and see what’s being done. Well, it’s basically a big sink hole! Nick tries to assure her that everything’s fine, but she’s not happy to see all the workers sitting around drinking tea and chatting. Carla is still driving Nick’s eyes towards the ceiling with her demanding presence. But, what else is new?

It’s Chesney’s 16th birthday and Fiz asks him if he’s thought of having a party. Ches says he’s too busy at the market for that. When Ches finds out that John picked out his present, he chucks it. John tells Ches that regardless of what he thinks of him, don’t take it out on Fiz she’s she’s broken her back to make his day special. Ches leaves for the market, and Fiz points out to John that their mum hasn’t given Ches anything. Oh, poor Ches. Fiz asks John if he’s asked Roy if he can work back at the cafe – assuming that he’s quit his teaching job. Fiz figures that they should pretend he’s been made redundant in the furniture store, to which John thinks sounds just great for his image.

John goes to see Roy at the cafe and sits and waits for him. While he does, he looks very depressed at the thought of working there again – all to the tune of Barry Manilow’s “Copa Cabana.” So much, that he gets up and leaves. It appears he won’t be working at the cafe after all.

Kirk asks Ches what he’s doing for his birthday, but Ches says he’s really not high on making any plans. Kirk, of course, thinks they should really push the boat out for his party. Fiz wants to plan a party at their house, but Ches says no way. He thinks their house is well minging. Haha, I agree Chesney. Ches would prefer to have his party at a club in town, but John thinks they should hire somewhere. Fiz thinks that Roy might let him have his part at the cafe. Fiz asks Roy, and Roy says it’d be an honour to host his 16th birthday there. Ches is trying all he can to get some booze for his party, but it is not happening! Fiz asks Roy about how John asked for a job earlier, but Roy clearly has no idea what she’s talking about so she pretends she’s got her lines crossed. Fiz is secretly stunned that John hasn’t asked for a job like he said he was going to.

John gets a call from Colin Fishwick, and he’s outside his place wanting a word. Fishwick tells Stape that he’s applied for a job in a bookshop and he’s had to give them details. Fishwick tells John he feels uncomfortable about the whole “stealing my identity thing.” John says that if it’s any consolation, he’s resigned from the school (liar!). Colin says he’s spoken to Charlotte and he knows that he’s lying to him. Now, he’s getting quite angry and tells John to “end it.” Fiz comes home in a huff later, and John gets off the phone with Charlotte whom of which he was yelling at. She demands to know why John lied to her about asking for a job there. John says he would hate to leave the “good life” to butter bread. Fiz reminds him that most people hate teaching. Charlotte and John meet quickly in the Rovers and she says she knows Colin’s changed his mind. John says he can’t give up teaching and if Fiz finds out it’d destroy their marriage.

Ches complains to Kirk that he wants booze at the party. He says it’s bad enough having your birthday at a greasy spoon, then being embarrassed about not even being able to have a drink. Is he not two years off for that? Kirk thinks he can make a punch, and that way, they will smuggle the alcohol in without anyone knowing. Oh, yeah, because punch NEVER has liquor in it! If that were the case, no one would go to holiday parties!

Eileen’s had a good look around Molly and Ty’s place and says she’s interested pending a home inspection. Molly’s just about ready to bust with “mystery baby.” Molly is so excited about the fact that Eileen will buy, and suggests that Ty give Kev plenty of notice about leaving the garage. Tyrone doesn’t seem like he’s looking forward to that. Eileen gets a suggestion from Liz to let Owen, who is a builder, check out the Dobb’s place before she decides to get a surveyor or not.

Well, Sally’s definitely back! Here she is at the new place of work complaining – as she does best. I really was missing here, Janice doesn’t cut it alone in the peanut gallery of Underworld! Sally pops into Dev’s where Molly’s working and tells her how running is her new hobby and how her and Kev are doing it together. Sally asks if she’s had any interest on her house and she tells Sal that Eileen seems keen. Sally gets on her high-horse (was she ever off?) and talks about those tiny terraced houses and how she could never go back to not having a garden. She tells Molly that Kev’s hard to keep motivated for running, and asks Molly how she kept him motivated. By renting hotel rooms, that’s how! Molly says that a pint usually did the trick. Ty comes into the shop after Sally and he hasn’t given Kevin his notice yet. Molly is angry since her due date is soon and she wants to be in the new place and settled before the baby comes. Tyrone agrees to go to the Rovers with Kev after work.

Sally and Kev talk in the Rovers about Tyrone leaving town. Sally wonders if Kevin is sure that he can buy Tyrone’s stake in the business. Kev says he’s not sure how much he’s going to offer him. Sally thinks that Kevin should take advantage of the Dobbs’ desperate situation and pull a fast one. Yeah, he just might if he weren’t wracked with guilt over “mystery baby.” Kev goes by the Dobbs’ later and gives Tyrone his offer for his part of the garage. Ty shows the amount to Molly and she says it’s very generous and thanks Kevin. Looks as though Kev didn’t listen to any of Sally’s advice – as per usual! Kev says he gave him a good deal, since he’s a mate. That poor mug, Tyrone!

Dev and Sunita are still going on about their domestic issues. This time, to Claire and Ashley probably the only two other people that care. Dev complains that Sunita should be watching their children during school holidays and they don’t need a child minder. Claire tells Sunita that she was toying with the idea of going back into child-minding. Sunita points out to Dev that Claire isn’t a “stranger” and he said no to a stranger looking after their children. Ashley is shocked at Claire’s career plans that he had no clue of. Sunita and Claire have already decided. Claire will watch all FOUR children all day while Sunita sits behind a counter and mews at Dev all day! It’s perfect!

HIGHLIGHTS
- Nick’s new haircut! It’s not perfect, but it’s better than that overgrown-little-boy haircut from before.
- David’s little joke about Natasha imagining his gran and “Midnight Cowboy” going at it, whist shaking the chair!
- Nick and Carla in those hard hats! Carla managed to make it look stylish but Nick just looked like a Conehead.
- Eileen referring to Gail and Audrey’s lives as “Desperate Fishwives.” When I saw Damon’s name in the writing credits I knew we’d be in for a good ‘un!
- Kirk’s “that explains so much” shirt, labelled “Bin Drinkin”
- David asking Lewis if in his previous line of work had any one died on him, as in, died ON him. Haha! I never would have guessed David to take over Blanche’s cutting-lines role, but it works for me!
- Liz: “I’ve got a face that says ‘approachable.’” Michelle: “And a skirt that says ‘hiya!’”
- Sean calling Liz “Liz Bomb.” She’s certainly got more zest than the burnt out “Fiz Bomb.”

LOWLIGHTS
- That terrible Cilla Battersby-Brown for not getting Ches even a card on his birthday. What kind of a mother…oh, wait.
- I know Corrie isn’t the best with this kind of thing, but could Molly’s baby belly be any more FAKE? Did they literally just stuff a pillow up there or what? It was even rippling under the chest.
- I know that Liz has some outrageous fashion choices, but what was with that black sequin outfit? Especially for that time of the morning. Was she on her way to rehearse in an ABBA tribute band?
- Did anyone think it was strange that Nick went into the salon for a trim, when he’d already gotten a new haircut?! At least he’ll leave looking the same.
- Audrey for being so self-centered! Get over yourself woman!
- Does anyone else think that Fishwick is taking Stape’s whole “stealing his identity” quite well? He must be afraid of John, or need someone to call to help him bury a body in the future type thing.
- Is anyone else wondering WHY Lewis is so broke? It seems that all he does is charge older women lots of money for his time. Where does it all go? To his betting habit?