We start with a hunky-chested Billy waking up Paul from his hangover. The latter goes around to Chesney's and asks Kel some questions who comes out with some BS: "You were 14 going on 20" "I didn't push you into anything. You loved me I loved you". Eurgh, the creepy git. It works until he calls his step-son "Paulie", and Paul goes to the pub to chain-drink pints. He encounters Kel in the street and bad mouths him until Kel drags him into the ginnel where Paul tries to kiss him. Kel pulls away and Paul knocks him out and leaves him for dead, not before he realises Kel is no longer interested in him because he's a grown man. Paul fesses up to Gemma and Bernie works it out too. Gemma asks her mum not to tell the cops although Billy tells Paul he needs to turn himself in, but also that he needs to tell them his mitigating circumstances.
Posh Paula has bought Sophie a new bag for college and a flat (Claudia's) and a highly pregnant Sophie is non-committal about her first day at college, although she's more interested in flicking through Kate's
Evelyn is the voice of the audience as she asks how Tyrone and Fiz can afford a live-in nanny. Fiz says she will accept Gary's offer of a job in his money laundering furniture
Imran, who is looking even more handsome since his haircut, queries a payment to a new private detective that's gone through the solicitor's books. Where's Leanne? Is she too busy being a substitute mum to Max to do her actual job? Anyway, Adam offers Ryan some money to dob in Gary, but Ryan seems to have Stockholm syndrome and instead tells Sarah what her boyf has been up to. Adam ends up apologising to, and then snogging, Sarah, and agrees to drop his feud with Gary. I highly doubt it.
Asha wants some new clothes but her dad is reluctant to cough up, urging her instead to take her "first foray into the exciting world of commerce", i.e. work in the kebab shop. Doesn't Dev still own the chippie? Can't the set designers repurpose Prima Doner to be For Your Fries Only once in a while just for a bit of a change? Am liking Asha moving front and centre - with Sinead, Bethany, Kate and Michelle leaving, and Shona and Sophie handing in their MAT B1s, there will need to be young actresses (or just actresses in Michelle's case) other than Gemma, who has been a bit over-used this year, stepping into the breach. Cathy tells Asha that the uniform (particularly the hat) is a big hit with Brian, and it seems it's the same for a dopey looking lad from Weathy high who comes in for a Doner with everything on it, and you know what he means by everything. She agrees to meet him after rehearsal and then steals Dev's card to buy more skin lightening cream. Oh, mate.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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