Coronation Street Episode Review; Wednesday 6th October 7.30 & 8.30 pm

Sally’s parking permit plans are going quite well, and I would hope this is the beginning of her return to a Mayor of Weatherfield role? The last time that happened, she ended up jailed, over a bizarre embezzlement charge but this time I'd hope things may be a little different! Tonight, Sally's wedding anniversary celebrations are sidelined by a letter from the council, and she ignores Tim for a meeting with Fergus. The Traffic Warden then joins them at the Bistro for their anniversary dinner. I did enjoy Tim and his jokes tonight! As a married man myself, I'm saving a few of those! Also, can we add Fergus to the cast full-time? I like him a lot. He seems to have that book-ish nerdy charm of Corrie classic Male characters such as Roy, Norris, and Brian.

Meanwhile, Sally tells Kevin she's heard nothing from Abi either. With Abi still suspected to be in Doncaster, Kevin is not taking her absconding very well. He leaves her a begging voicemail until Jack tracks down her Cousin via the internet. With no luck down that avenue, Kevin reports her as missing to the (uninterested) police. Finding £2K gone from his account, Kev is suddenly inspired to try and track Abi down and meets up with Seb’s Dad in the Dog & Gun (!) Finding out about the murder, the dodgy Dad seems subdued, telling Kev he has no idea where Abi is. Later, Seb's Dad takes a call from Abi!? What is she planning?

Corey scoring one in a mid-week midday match (a friendly, I imagine) adds more fuel for Nina and her firey feelings of vengeance. Can the goth take down the murdering footballer? I do hope so. Corrie folklore denotes that a bad boy never lasts. That said, I wouldn’t like to see Nina jailed, so I was glad when Roy cooled off the revved-up revenge idea. Could counselling work for Nina? I'd love to see Toyah do it and then set up her own office next to Imran!

Daniel's teaching life has been full pelt recently. Aside from being a single Dad, and schooling Summer Spellman, Ken reminds his son that he should still make time for romance, but will it be with Daisy? The two have got closer recently, but Daniel thinks he is out of his depth due to her obvious beauty(!) He isn’t of course and Ken is right, but can Daniel spot her malicious streak before it’s too late? Maybe he shan't have to, as a new suitor is thrown into the mix when a new character, Leo, arrives at The Rovers asking to fix Gail's sinkhole. Johnny Connor also pops in for a pint, and his spark with Jenny still seems ignited. Later, after Adi finds her plagiarised personal statement, Summer admits the truth to Daniel, and her demeanour is suddenly somewhat sunnier. I'm sure Summer fancies Daniel?

Elsewhere in Corrie tonight; The Bistro V Speed Daal curry battle hots up! Debbie delights in subterfuge bringing grumpy Zee back with a vengeance. Micheal and James discuss the police apology and (bizarrely) foreign football teams with Steve Mcdonald - who is also back for a pint. He must have come with Johnny because we viewers haven't seen either of them for ages! 

@rybazoxo Your self-styled Cobbles Connoisseur 

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Five Things we Learned from Classic Coronation Street this week

 

Weatherfield's very own Fanny

Cradock that is. Bet, taking offence at some less than flattering comments from an unknowing Mavis in the Corner Shop, set out to prove that she was capable of becoming the world's best housewife. Alec was appalled at the thought of Bet ditching her gleaming pumps for a life of pinny-clad servitude even if she does "grill a decent chop". Mrs Gilroy wasn't listening though as she sent off a convoluted shopping list to Alf's (she even bought some of Sally's garlic croutons, proving our Sal was always a bit above herself). Bet spent the morning on her table setting, struggling to make swans out of napkins and burning her toast corners. 

Sadly, all Bet's guests dropped out and Emily and Mavis (or Hinge and Bracket as Alec had nicknamed them earlier in the week) were forced to endure Bet's lumpy casserole and flacid meringue. Our Rovers landlady definitely put the cock in coq au vin. The Gilroy pair sitting round the dinner table with Mave and the Bish was a delicious comedy of errors and Thelma Barlow shone as the twittery Mavis, suffering from endless coq in mouth syndrome as Bet's facade crumbled. Julie Goodyear and Roy Barraclough brought such vim and vigour to the Rovers Return and they are a constant, comedic joy. There was real heart and love in their relationship and that balanced out the comedy oh so nicely.

French Farce

 

I guess we forget in these modern cosmopolitan days that not so long ago French France seemed a million miles away. In those far off, pre-Brexit days, people didn't just swan off to la belle France at the drop of a beret. Unless you're Jenny flamin' Bradley that is. Good lord but she's an irritating little ginger madam. Taking advantage of innocent young Martin Platt once more (after trapping him upside down in Reet's Fiesta not so long ago) Jen conned herself a ride to a life of sunburn and soggy grapes in the south of France. Selfish little feather-headed Bradley didn't return with Martin though, after swanning off with some French piece by the name of Patrice Podevin. Cue as many dubious French stereotypical references as you could shake an 'Allo 'Allo shaped stick at. I was waiting for Alan Bradders to drop in a mention of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.

Jenny eventually drifted back to Rita and Alan, who had spent the week beside themselves; Alan threatening to thump anything with male genitalia and Rita sniping at Mavis as if she'd just caused a Weatherfield aniseed ball shortage. PATrice (as Jenny kept addressing him) soon charmed Alan and Reet with cheap wine and some form of worryingly described lace frillies. I just hope the wine was for Alan. Jenny spent the rest of the week's episodes prancing around the street, ring first, shoving it under everyone's nose. We all know it ain't going to end well, after all PATrice has already endured bed and breakfast at the Rovers at £20 a night. I can only hope he wasn't offered the leftovers from Bet's beanfeast for brekkie. 


Glossop calling Susan

 

Mike Baldwin was over the moon this week, resplendent in a rather dashing grey pleather sports jacket. What's not to love? After weeks of Susan slumping herself through those kitchen swing doors at St Mary's Place, she finally confirmed she was pregnant with MVB's baby. Scottish wines and cigars all round! Except poor little bitch girl Sue isn't exactly over the moon at the thought of being (as someone delightfully put it) "up the stick" with the fruit of Mike's loins. Shudder. Susan keeps bleating on about having a life, having a career before settling down to motherhood. To be honest, even if she was a decent actress, that would be as much a possibility as Jack Duckworth managing to clean his own chimney without getting soot in Vera's bottom denture.

There was a glimmer of hope for 1987 viewers when Mike whisked Susan away to a remote farmhouse in Glossop - the ideal place to bring up a family. And the best place for Susan, away from those pesky Granada camera and acting stuff. Fear not, this dreary little tale will soon be at an end as Sue hops off back to Newcastle in her bought and paid for Austin Metro, boot rammed with man-made fibres. Bill Podmore's decision to dispense with the services of Susan Baldwin could not come a moment too soon. Sadly, we'd have to wait a few more years before she'd return one last time, complete with a head transplant and a secret son, before she'd be axed forever at the hands of Billy Gurny Gums. But, hey, I'm straying into Oates territory here so I'll stop.

The Germaine Greer of the Gazette

 

Ken Barlow was once again delivering in spades this week. Despite the fact he's endured on our screens for nigh on sixty years and that he's got a head of hair a man half his age would kill for, we are often remiss in recalling just what a big-headed, ego-centric, pompous old windbag Kenneth is. After pushing poor old Alf into heart attack territory (therefore denying Audrey her oats for the month of May) Ken shoehorned Deirdre through a dodgy demi-wave and a move to even bigger bins and into the council. Ken managed to be a proud husband for all of five minutes until Deirdre started to develop a brain away from the potato peeler and the tumble dryer and actually started to enjoy council work. 

Ken's outdated, Victorian, patriarchal attitudes led me, in a moment of madness, to label him a bell**d on Twitter this week and for that I will never apologise. Deirdre, sick of Ken's moaning, trotted off to Bournemouth with Alf Ventress from Heartbeat for a week on waste disposal. Yes Ken, your wife would rather talk turds in the conference suite of a Ramada Inn than spend time with you. Stick that in your Gazette and choke on it. 

Sally's Supermarket Sweep

 

Finally this week, I must mention dear little Sally Webster, already exhibiting signs of the social climbing snob we all know and love today. Cosy in her new job working with Alf at the mini market, Sally is a bright ray of sunshine, energetically trying to flog the aforementioned garlic croutons to Emily Bishop, spreading gossip with Audrey and moaning about Kevin's lack of get up and go. Just you wait, luvey. What I did notice though on several occasions was Sal's inability to work the till, add up and deliver her lines all at once. Now Renee Roberts might have been a bit dull and more suited to anything starring Hylda Baker (one for the teenagers there) and Maggie Clegg might have legged it to Zaire in the middle of pricing up the tinned pears but at least they could operate a till a good deal less vicious that Arkright's. It seemed that everything anyone ever bought always amounted to 38p. I guess when you've got young Kevin's be-jeaned buttocks pressed up against the dairy counter, your coordination is bound to go right out the window.

And I leave you with my pic of the week - Bet had popped in to the Corner Shop for a packet of Alec's favourite beef burgers and picked up more than she bargained for from Mavis Riley. If looks could kill...

Until next time...

I'm on Twitter @GraemeN82 if you fancy a natter.

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Coronation Street Episode Review; Weds 22nd Nov 2017 7.30pm

Welcome to episode one of this weeks Wednesday double.

Tonight's episode begins with Michelle visiting Robert in hospital. After his recent heroics with the car accident, he's escaped any injury, but will his hospital visit cause any further problems?. After discovering a recent 'lump' Michelle rages at Robert to get 'checked out' and she quickly succumbs a nurse to get tested.
It isn't long before the 'lump' is diagnosed as a tumour. Will this be benign?.
The diagnosis looks a bit bleak...

With Sinead still feeling some guilt about the accident, she seeks solace in her unlikely confidante, Daniel Osbourne. Unfortunately, a cunning Chesney spies their closeness. As Chez connives with keen mixer Tracy, has the devious Barlow hatched a revenge plan for her not so favourite brother?.

More family revelations are rife and could all finally be revealed for the recent Kabin drama?. As a peculiar and weirdly lecherous Colin fawns over Norris, it soon becomes that Mr. Cole has a second blood test at the medical centre. Knowing that Moira and Colin colluded to get Norris's DNA (no me neither), could Colin actually be the son of Norris?. Having sold The Kabin flat back to Rita, I'm unsure how long Colin can keep this facade in place?. Is Norris really his father or is this about money?.

As Gina's money making scheme looks to have come to nothing, Sister Sally's mayoral inauguration begins. As Dev, Yasmeen, Sophie, and Gail celebrate, a photographer quickly arrives, unfortunately followed by some bailiffs. We all know that Gina has a 5K debt guaranteed by the unknowing mayor, a raging Sally threatens murder!. Will the warring sisters recover from this latest betrayal? It was great to see Kev Webster back on the street though and a cheeky reminisce about some classic Corrie.

I was more intrigued however, by Gail Platt announcing she's on Twitter!!
What would Gail RT, favourite or even post?. Follow @CoroStreetBlog on Twitter, we'd love to find out.

Anyway, that's me done. I'm off to the Kabin to collect Roy's missing edition of 'Classic Railways' magazine. The man was steaming!.

I'm back next week. In the meantime, follow my pal @Glenn_Writes  as he reviews tonight's 8.30pm episode
Speak then.
TARA!
I am @rybazoxo
Editor at large @Drunkonmusic2
Your Cobbles Connoisseur

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When Sally slapped Natalie - again!

Last week on Coronation Street when Gina was confessing to Sally that she suffers from a bipolar disorder and thought she had sent Sally the pig's heart in the box, the name of Natalie Barnes was mentioned.   Natalie married Des Barnes and before that was known as Natalie Horrocks.

Now then, it's been a long time since Natalie was on the cobbles. You'll remember that she stole Kev from Sally while Sally was away looking after her ill mum in Scarborough.  When Sally found out about Kev's affair with Natalie Horrocks (or Nastily Horrid as we used to call her) she gave her what-for on the Street.

And yesterday in the Great Manchester Run, Sally Dynevor recreated that classic slap scene with Denise Welch, who played Natalie in Corrie.  Denise Welch posted the pics above to twitter, saying:
"20 years and she's still not over it!"

I reckon that Sally slapping Natalie was one of Coronation Street's best ever slaps!  Watch it below:



See also: Top 5 fights on Coronation Street

Read more Corrie news and spoilers here

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Muriel Sparks

Obviously, like any sane humanoid, I'm thrilled at Sally Webster's* burgeoning political ambitions.  The snobbish Street harridan knocking on doors, disapproving of their nets, then asking for them to vote for her?  Amazing,  Count me in.  Let's get her all the way to Parliament.

What I don't approve of is the way this began, and the way men washing Maddie's mural off the wall of the ginnel was presented as the Big Evil Council treading on the Little People.

Let's think back to how this started.  Kevin's garage got spray painted.  He reported it to the council - despite Tyrone reminding him that as a private business, it was their responsibility to clean up any graffiti.  Kevin went on the warpath.  The council arrived, and, while assessing the area, noticed a wall covered in spray paint.  They removed it.  This is, in fact, their actual job.

The Websters were horrified.  Craig offered to repaint the mural.  The Council turned up to remove the paint again, and it turned into the Gunfight at the OK Corral, only with Karcher water sprays.

Again, this is the council's actual responsibility.  Craig didn't get permission from anyone to paint that muriel.  No application to the council, no written authorisation.  He did it off his own back.  Fair enough - he wanted to commemorate a dead friend.  But don't be surprised when it gets noticed and scrubbed off.

The Websters turned this into an unfeeling government body stamping all over the wishes of the locals, but it's a ginnel, not the Tate.  It's someone's wall - please note that the mural is not painted on the wall of a Coronation Street resident, but on the back of a Mawdsley Street house.  Those people might not be that keen on a big piece of spray painted art mucking up their property.  And Sally's being very choosy about what is good graffiti and what is bad graffiti; she was absolutely furious when Craig spray painted her house last year.  Graffiti-ing is a crime, and just because Craig's a bit artistic doesn't make it right.  If he'd just scrawled RIP MADDIE in two foot high pink paint on the side of the chippy would we be having this debate?

If you want to put up a memorial to Maddie, fine, get permission first, like any sane person.  If you can't be bothered, don't complain when the authorities come along and remove it.  Or put some varnish over it; that'll really fox them.

*yes I know she's called Sally Metcalfe now but I've been calling her Sally Webster for nearly thirty years and I'm not about to change.

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Quinoa and Kale Crisps - the Genius of Sally

So impressed by Sally’s performance tonight and by the brilliance of her script. Sally Dynevor was superb. Her comic timing is second to none on the cobbles.

Carla was clearly deep in thought but Sally, who misread the situation chats on about the pronunciation of quinoa and kale. She even mentions the avant garde notion of kale crisps.

At root, of course, is Sally’s snobbery and her sense of self-importance. The brightest scripts the writers produce for Sally are those where she thinks she is being fashionable, in the swim, keeping up with the Jones’s and in actual fact is failing. Remember the sofa? She hated the red sofa but on discovering it was expensive and pre-owned by a woman she thought of good stock, all of a sudden Sally loved it! It’ll be Farrow and Ball paint next, which will be essential to Sally’s existence.  

Later, when Tim and Kevin arrive back at Sally’s and there is a sense of relief about the kiss and the buying of the factory is in prospect, Sally says, ‘I’ve got a Vienetta in the fridge.' Alan Bennett would be delighted.

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