Tonight, Tim and Maria are in a closely fought battle for the title of Weatherfield’s most stupid resident. Tim makes a strong start. When Geoff persists with his lie that Elaine isn’t his mum and that Alya has put her up to it, you can almost hear Tim’s two brain cells rubbing together as he tries to work out why an allegedly complete stranger would pretend to be his mum.
Luckily, our Sal is not so easy to fool. She and Alya are turning into pretty formidable enemies of the hideous waste of organs, as later Alya threatens him with a broom when he tries to get into Speed Daal. We all know how much Geoff hates women standing up to him, so he must be having a shocker of a day. When Alya goads him by calling him a vile little man and suggests he was responsible for Elaine’s disappearance he practically confesses by sneering ‘If you want, you can find out just what kind of man I am like she did’.
He’s almost caught making his threats by Tim, but yet again manages to manipulate his son by producing a picture of Tessa and Tim at the beach together and telling him how much she loved him. Just a thought, but if he lied about Phillipa/Elaine being dead could he also have lied about Tessa dying? Maybe all his ex’s will turn up at once like a geriatric version of the Witches of Eastwick and make him vomit up cherry pips? Anyway, it’s all too much for poor Tim and his tiny brain. He tells Sally he’s had enough of her suspicions before scrunching up the letter Elaine left with her number on and throwing it in the bin.
Meanwhile stupidity challenger Maria finds out that Gary has gone back on his plan to put up the rent on the factory. When he claims he is doing it out of the goodness of his heart, she accuses him of still being in love with Sarah and asks how stupid does he think she is? The Ginger Gangster must have had to nearly bite his tongue off to not give her the answer that 8 million Corrie fans were screaming at the screen, because if Maria were anymore stupid, you’d have to water her twice a day. Instead he sweet talks her by telling her she’s the one he loves and she ends up apologising to him. You’ve got to hand it to him, it was only a few hours ago that he got hit by a car, now he’s spinning a clever web of lies and charming the ladies. Is he actually Roger Moore?
In other news, Leanne tells Toyah to go ahead with the fostering, Carla reveals a secret talent for the recorder(?) and Craig reappears in a brand new slimmed down body. He really is half the man he used to be!
And that’s it for this week. If anyone wants to compare notes on how long it took you to recognise Craig, tell me in the comments or catch me on twitter @mskelstar.
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