The owls are not what they seem. Gary descended further into villainy this week, framing a dead man, threatening a destitute, and worst of all, becoming a second-hand furniture salesman. What a monster. Of course he wasn't too happy about all this, which was conveyed to the audience by having him constantly glare at himself in the mirror.
He couldn't pass a piece of glass without staring deeply into it, considering his soul. At least that's what I think was going through his mind. He might equally have just been confused by the reflection, like a slightly dopey cockatiel.
There is an alternative. Gary's descent into villainy has been sudden and out of character; wouldn't it explain it better if he had perhaps been possessed by an evil from beyond time? Let's have another look at that reflection.
Yes, Gary's been possessed by BOB from Twin Peaks, and now all he sees in the mirror is the laughing face of evil. No wonder he's so horrified. A dose of Lynchian surrealism would certainly pep up the show. Evelyn could trade in Cerberus for a log. The hotpots could be replaced by cherry pies. It would mean that a pretty blonde teenager with a history of sexual abuse would have to get beaten to death and left by the side of the river, wrapped in plastic. Sorry Bethany.
Names is for tombstones, baby. I don't know why, but I found Roy and Ed calling each other "Royston" and "Edison" delightful. Not least because Edison is a superb name. I hope this is the start of a more respectful Street, where shortened names are no longer permitted, mainly because we just learned that Gemma and Paul are really called "Gemini" and "Apollo". Liz could be Elizabeth again, Sarah could go back to Sarah-Louise, and Tracy could go by her full name of Beelzebub.
Kevin Webster is the Last Action Hero. Poor Jack. One minute he's having a foot amputated, the next he's trapped under his bed while a stranger rooted through the bookcase. It's been a hell of a year. (Incidentally, while Kyran Bowes is a great little actor, it's starting to feel like a mistake to cast a child performer four years older than the character. Kevin mentioned he was "only eight" and it didn't feel right because Kyran looks like he's about to start shaving). Jack's panicky texts finally reached Kev, and he turned into Tom Cruise, legging it from Victoria Street in a truly epic show of athleticism.
Running...
...running...
...running...
...still running...
...oh heck. Was that faceplant in the script, do you think? Because while it certainly added to the drama, I can't imagine them casually sticking a scene where a fifty-five year old man smacks his face into the pavement without at least one stunt performer being on set. Unless they understood Michael le Vell is really good at the action stuff, and soon he'll be leaving the show to take over from Daniel Craig as the new James Bond.
Abi can be the new Bond Girl, Ivana Crushyanuts.
You can live the champagne lifestyle on a prosecco budget. Sally and Tracy spent the ill gotten unicorn funds on a hot tub for the back garden of number 4. Hot tubs are the current glamorous garden accessory du jour, because who doesn't want to sip asti spumante in tepid water in full view of the neighbours? While you have to admire the skills of Manchester's hot tub professionals, who managed to get the whole thing winched in, installed and up and running in the space of an afternoon, I do question whether Sally Metcalfe would buy one in the first place. It's a bit common, isn't it? Hot tubs still have a whiff of swinger's parties, of 1970s filth, of people with gold dolphin taps and leopardskin pedestal mats and chandeliers in the front room of their two up two down. It's a bit naff for our fragrant former Mayor. Besides, between her conservatory and her summerhouse, there's hardly any room for it.
Gratuitous nudity is preferred. Any other week of the year, Bernie's naked wanderings round Chesney's house would've been a little bit shocking. In a week where the weathermen had to buy new thermometers because the mercury kept bursting out the top of the existing ones, it seemed eminently sensible. I'll bet at least half the watching audience were in their pants or less as they sweated into the sofa. I'm not sure what to make of Bernie; on the one hand a chaotic hippy type proclaiming "property is theft" is a new archetype for the show, and could be interesting. Also part of me is hoping that we discover "Bernie Winter" is a false name Sue Clayton adopted to distance herself from her awful boring family (alternatively, her twin brother is called Mike and she's got a St Bernard called Schnorbitz). On the other hand, do we really have to have another scrounging scumbag only after fleecing their nearest and dearest out of all the cash they can get? Can't we just have a nice new character for once?
This week, Gemma told Michelle "I don't care what people say, I think you're dead nice" which gives @merseytart hope that everyone in the Street has finally noticed how awful she is and Kym Marsh's last scene will be her being driven out of Weatherfield by an angry mob.
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6 comments:
I had to rewind my recording to watch Kevin falling flat on his face again, I did wonder whether it was scripted or not but then they had an extra showing some concern for him.
Love this blog! I watched every episode of Twin Peaks & loved it. Good one, Scott!
I don't think Kyran Bowes looks that old!
Great post! I think Bernie is an another money grabbing awful character but Jane Hazlegrove is a brilliant actress and she plays her well.
On Kevin's fall: maybe Michael Vell fell by accident & it looked real so they decided to just leave it in.
Spare me from an episode with "tough guy" Gary Windass. He's about as scary as spoiled milk
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