Curly was surprised by how much the world had moved on in his absence. Jackie chucked a load of water over him when he tried to get into his house, while Alma had taken his job at Freschco. She also told him that she'd made Jackie his legal tenant so he was sort of stuffed. (He said he'd been to the police and they'd told him what happened to Anne Malone. "Nobody expected it to end like that," said Alma. You're telling me). Sharon was an emotional wreck after the failure of her almost-marriage, and Ian's half-apologies were no help to her at all. Rita persuaded her to stay on Coronation Street rather than running off. Vik went through Steve's books and told him he was in major financial trouble. He was forced to move back in with Jim and let Gary go from the business, leaving Judy incandescent with rage. He also told Linda that he wasn't a cash machine for her to exploit. Linda Sykes, a moneygrabber? Who'd have thought? And Leanne was an emotional wreck, wandering round the Street on the edge of hysteria. We soon discovered why - she was pregnant.
TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 12th and 14th March 1999
It was time to say goodbye to another Rovers barmaid, as Lorraine and Natalie rowed and she was sacked. Literally nobody cared because Lorraine was barely a character. It did mean that Judy could get back her job behind the bar, meaning that Gary was left caring for the twins. Mike got a surprise visit from a new rep, Julia, played by Fiona Allen from Smack the Pony. She took him out for lunch, but was a bit useless and didn't get a sale. Nick and Leanne reeled from the news that they were going to be parents. He suggested she should have an abortion because they were too young. However, Leanne wanted to keep it, and Toyah told him so. He reluctantly agreed. Curly persuaded the area manager that he should be let back into his old job as compensation for them unleashing psycho Anne on him. This meant Alma was demoted. Tracy turned up on Deirdre's doorstep, complaining that Robert was annoying, and that she'd left him.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 15th and 17th March 1999
Curly and Spider began their war against Jackie and Tyrone by sneaking into number 7 and robbing their telly. Jackie told Tyrone that if he didn't find a replacement, she'd belt him, which made Spider uncomfortable. He let Tyrone steal the TV back, so Curly decided to take matters up a notch. Robert arrived at number 1, furious with Tracy, because it turned out she'd actually snogged another man. Ken let him stay the night and conspired with Deirdre to get the two of them back together. Leanne told Les and Janice about the baby and they were delighted - until they realised they were going to be grandparents. Martin, however, was less chuffed.
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 19th and 21st March 1999
Les had told all and sundry that Leanne was pregnant, despite them asking him to keep it under his hat. Nicky was livid with him. Gail returned from Canada to learn she was going to be a grandmother. She was unhappy with the news, which disappointed Leanne, who felt she'd never be good enough for Gail. Correct. Mike met up with Julia again and she flirted with him. He turned her down, but she told a mysterious person on the phone that she'd soon win him round. Jackie persuaded Les to change the locks at number 7 by offering him a combination of sex and cash. Of course she was manipulating him. She told Tyrone to come home early to ruin the "romantic" evening, and paid Les with money out of his own wallet. When he realised he'd been swindled he sold Curly a spare key.
FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 22nd and 24th March 1999
Ken and Deirdre persuaded Tracy and Robert to sit down and talk things through. Obviously they ended up rowing, making Robert think their marriage was over. Tracy admitted to Deirdre that she'd not had an affair with Dan after all - though he'd wanted her to. She urged Tracy to think though what she'd done. Audrey returned to find Tom working at the salon. She was unhappy about Maxine taking on staff, but she'd got appointments that needed filling so there wasn't much she could do. Spider and Curly used Toyah to seduce Tyrone out of the house, but Jackie spotted them lying in wait to break into number 7 and locked herself in. They were more successful at a second try, but she still refused to leave, so they were left huddled in the living room together. Sharon celebrated her birthday and Rita gave her a gift: the Kabin. Sharon was unwilling to accept it, and Sally told her about Rita's gifts in the past. She indirectly implied that Rita was trying to buy her affection so Rita accused Sally of wanting the Kabin herself. She persuaded Sharon to take the business, saying there were no strings attached.
MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 26th and 28th March 1999
Audrey said she couldn't afford three salaries at the salon and so to keep Tom on, she'd have to let Maxine go. Tom resigned in solidarity, leaving Audrey on her own, and he suggested to Maxine that they set up a rival salon in the flat upstairs. Ashley asked Nicky and Leanne to leave because he didn't want a happy family around him while he was all alone. Charming. They worried about their future, then Uncle Stephen sent Nick a letter saying there was a job waiting in Canada if he wanted it. Tracy agreed to cook Robert a meal to see if they could sort things out. Deirdre gave them some space by heading to Ken's and she ended up kipping over - in the spare room. Curly and Spider camped out at number 7 to try and drive Jackie out. She called in the big guns: Tyrone's dad, Darren. She expected him to beat Curly up, but instead he insisted on her packing their things and leaving with him. Darren didn't want her ending up back in prison, and Jackie found it romantic, driving off into the sunset with him and Tyrone. That's the last we'd see of the whirling dervish that is Margi Clarke for nearly a decade, but don't worry, Ty will be back much sooner.
TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 29th and 31st March 1999
Roy used the internet (MSN! In a Coffee Republic!) to find someone to marry him and Hayley. He met up with Bernard Wrigley in a country and western bar-slash-church but he was too weird, even for Roy, so they consulted with a curate at Emily's church. She wasn't bothered that Hayley was trans but did say she'd have to consider her position. Nicky excitedly talked about emigrating to Canada, but Janice overheard and lost her rag at losing her grandchild. When she confronted Leanne she knew nothing about it. She realised Nick was planning their future without her input. Robert and Tracy made up, with Tracy saying she thought Ken and Deirdre looked like a proper couple again. It encouraged Ken to suggest they made their relationship more permanent and she moved back into number 1. Audrey struggled to cope at the salon, and when Tom and Maxine started their business upstairs, she threatened to evict her from the flat. Ravi and Fred both thought that Rita handing the Kabin over to Sharon with no safety net was a mistake, so she suggested that they have a trial period before she signed it over. Sharon was disappointed and annoyed.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 2nd and 4th April 1999
Deirdre moved in with Ken and he excitedly told her that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She wasn't so sure, and was embarrassed when the factory girls found out - especially when Mike started taking the mickey. Audrey continued to war against Maxine and Tom, but when he cut Maud's hair outside on the street as a protest, she realised she was losing a PR battle and gave them their jobs back. Sharon was upset that she wasn't getting the Kabin and thought it showed that Rita didn't trust her. Rita finally conceded and agreed to give her the business without any conditions. Nicky discovered that Leanne had leant Janice £200 to pay the bills, and he yelled at Les in the pub. He told Leanne he didn't want the baby because they were too poor and too young and also he was a really awful human being. She realised she might lose him if she continued with the pregnancy so she agreed to have an abortion. At Freshco's, Curly turfed out a shoplifting Tyrone. He didn't realise that Ty was starving and sleeping rough in the bins behind the supermarket.
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 5th and 7th April 1999
Nick continued to push a deeply unwilling Leanne into having a termination. They went to the doctor's for their appointment and he stopped just short of demanding they did it there and then. He came up with the idea of pretending it was a miscarriage, leaving her a little disturbed by the ease with which he came up with the lie. Tyrone continued to hang around Freshco's, begging for small change, but Ashley spotted that he was sleeping in the skip. He went to Curly, who was horrified to learn the Dobbs were back, but when he encountered Tyrone in the flesh he caved and offered him 50p for every trolley he brought back. Tyrone explained his mum was back in prison and he was homeless. Roy and Hayley excitedly planned their wedding, asking Alma to be matron of honour and Toyah and Sarah-Lou to be bridesmaids. Martin found it weird and Les found it disgusting, but the ladies of the Street put the men in their place, as they should. Julia returned to the factory to see Mike. She hinted that she'd like to see him at the rag trade ball, and Mike was intrigued - particularly when Alma announced she had to go on a Freshco training course that weekend.
FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 9th and 11th April 1999
Leanne underwent her abortion. She returned to Ashley's house and Nicky started spreading the story that she'd miscarried. The prospective grandparents were shocked and fussed over them, leaving Leanne upset. At the rag ball, Julia fluttered her eyelashes and got Mike all riled up. However, Alma arrived at the hotel, her training course cancelled, meaning Mike had to sleep with his wife unfortunately. When he checked out, he discovered Julia had left her contact details. He called her up and promised they'd have a dirty weekend in future. Kevin returned home to number 13 and discovered Sally was there with the girls. He'd been with his dad in Germany, recovering from losing custody of the kids, and he said now he was back to be in their lives.
There was also an interminable subplot about Gary becoming a window cleaner but the author refuses to give it the oxygen of publicity. Contact me on Twitter @merseytart if you really want a run down of how boring it was.
Classic Corrie is on ITV3 weekday afternoons and is also on the ITV Hub.
