Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

#Content is king.  If you're a high level social media pro like Rosie Webster, it's very important to keep those selfies flowing.  Pose in front of a murderer's house.  Pose in front of a celebrity chef and his girlfriend.  Pose, pose, pose.  Because the minute you stop you'll be besieged by concerned followers craving your presence.  Which raises the question: who is following Rosie Webster, and why?  She was on a reality show the best part of a decade ago and is now a secretary - are there really people desperate for nuggets of Webster wisdom?  Mind you, I've got over a thousand Twitter followers, and I'm really dull, so obviously people will listen to anyone.  She's clearly the new Zoella; there'll be a self-help book and a series of overpriced Rosie themed lipsticks in the shops by Christmas, mark my words.

Be sure to wipe the slate clean.  So Nick's Bistro is no more, replaced by the slightly more prosaic Viaduct Bistro.  Robert complained about the problems of rebranding - how you have to change all the letterheads, and what a pain that was.  Yes, that's clearly the hardest part, as opposed to redoing all those slates in the restaurant itself, or stenciling the name of the restaurant onto the wall.  Still, at least they've got the fantastic publicity of being nominated as "North West Restaurant of the Year" - except that nomination will presumably go to an establishment called "Nick's Bistro".  Not really the best timing, was it?  Maybe Sophie could be a restaurant manager, despite her entire work experience being (a) stacking shelves and (b) washing windows.  She probably couldn't do any worse.

Chemistry is fun.  You can't predict where sparks will fly.  Two beautiful people, once put together, could have all the sexual charisma of the Luton Arndale Centre.  Unless Liz McDonald is involved somewhere, because she could have screen chemistry with a salad bap.  Friday's episode opened with the hors d'oeuvres of Liz and Johnny, where a casual chat about shopping was weighted with all sorts of sexual frisson that would probably cause Jenny Bradley to pull a particularly amazing face if she dragged her head out of her carrier bags long enough.  The main course was Liz's banter with Steve's former teacher, which was like watching a sexual tigress idly playing with a gazelle before she consumed it whole.  You could have run the Rovers jukebox for a year off the electricity between Liz and that man, who I believe has a proper name in the show and everything, but who I will only ever refer to as Mick-from-Brookside.  I hope he realises what he's getting into when he flirts with Liz McDonald - she's not a woman who takes no for an answer.  Though to be honest, she doesn't hear many men say "no" in the first place.

If something smells fishy, it's not always Chesney.  Jude working in the gift shop of "Weatherfield Marine Life Centre" rather than in the research department wasn't a big surprise.  He'd never seemed keen to go back to work, so it was easy to believe he wanted an easy job rather than the serious intellectual rigour of undersea investigation.  The twist piled on top of that - that he wasn't a marine biologist at all, and just lied about it to get into Angie's pants - was a step too far.  So he's been lying for years?  And no-one ever noticed?  No-one ever asked him a casual question about piranhas?  No-one asked to see his wetsuit?  Angie - who is an accountant - never noticed that his salary was way under what you'd expect a highly qualified professional to earn?  Although, given her accountancy skills seem to be looking at bits of paper and saying "yes, that all seems in order," maybe she's been lying about her qualifications too.  What was Jude doing in South Africa all that time - hanging out on Table Mountain and eating biltong?  It doesn't just stretch credibility, it snaps it in half.  It's the third most ridiculous part of Jude's presence in the show; the second is that he's still in it, despite never showing even a whisper of personality, and the first is that he has arms like that and he's not yet had a single shirtless scene.  Put him in a towel, still damp from the shower, and I might look more favourably on his filthy web of deceit.

Even Kate Oates can't control the weather.  Friday's scenes on the outdoor set looked absolutely freezing, as the unseasonable snow crashed into MediaCity.  Characters who were meant to be frolicking in the spring were instead forced to shiver while icy Siberian winds froze their lips round the dialogue.  It also played havoc with continuity, meaning a bit of CGI snow was overlaid on some shots to explain how David could be stood on Chesney's doorstep in a t-shirt while on Rosamund Street Shona was caught up in an outtake from Doctor Zhivago.  Perhaps, instead of building a tram stop and a Costa, someone at ITV should have invested in a Centre Court-style retractable roof.

@merseytart also posts the occasional selfie on his Twitter account, though you have to slide into his DMs for the really interesting pics.

---

Please read our advice for leaving comments on the Coronation Street Blog
All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License