Billy has a very casual loyalty to the Ten Commandments. "Thou Shalt Not Steal" may have been written all over the tablets Charlton Heston brought down from the mountain, but apparently it's more a piece of general advice than an absolute rule of Christianity. Certainly, if you're a man of the cloth and you see a grand lying around and you're pretty sure it's a bit dodgy, you're absolutely free to stuff it in your back pocket and distribute it round the neighbours. (I do wonder if factory workers who don't live on Coronation Street got an envelope through the door? Did Dirk get a fistful of tenners, or is that a privilege reserved for people who get lines, and he'll just have to sign on?)
Simon's not going to end up on Bake Off any time soon. Was he drunk (again)? Did he use it as a football on the way home? Did he ask Summer to decorate it with her tin of shaving foam? I can't see any logical explanation for this abomination of a cake. Perhaps the cuts in education have hit Home Economics hard, and kids today don't even learn how to produce a decent Victoria sponge.
Rosie Webster used to be a Goth. I love it when Corrie reminds us that characters have had a complete change in personality over the years, and mentions of Rosie's Dark Age are always welcome. Looking at this botoxed blonde bimbette you'd never believe she spent her teenage years wearing black lipstick and shuffling round her bedroom to Fields of the Nephilim. Now remind her that she was a child genius who went to private school!
Tracy Barlow is Perfect In Every Way. T-shirt supplied by Primark's "Sarcastic" collection.
Audrey is a drunken lush, and God bless her for it. Early in the afternoon, Audrey was knocking back the booze with Yasmeen. After she left Mrs Roberts spent a while drinking alone, until Eileen arrived and they started guzzling G&T's together. She was all up for a night out clubbing, too. It's good to know that even a great grandmother can drink like a sailor on leave, and frankly it's another reason why Audrey is a national treasure. Buy her a drink if you see her out and about. Just the one, mind, or you'll be there all night.
By @merseytart
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