Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Sexuality is a spectrum.  Corrie was particularly lesbionic this week, as a veritable smorgasbord of same-sex loving swamped the Street - although, as Paula told Sophie, let's not rush to label things.  Paula sent her daughter to the Far East so that she could make her move on young Ms Webster, because it turns out she's bisexual.  Let's hope she's more loyal than the last bisexual to make a major impact on the show; remember Sonny getting engaged to Michelle then having sex with Sean during a bomb scare?  Being bisexual means you're attracted to both genders, not a sex maniac who'll diddle anything that moves.  Paula and Sophie were soon locking lips in a way that is bound to drive Sally up the wall, although perhaps she should be more concerned about her husband.

Tim's face when Tommy Orpington walked in was purest expression of love I've seen on this show in a long time.  The party faded away and all he could see was his hero's glowing face, like that bit in West Side Story when Maria sees Tony for the first time.  Friday's episode ended with Mr and Mrs Metcalfe getting a little frisky; it wouldn't surprise me to learn that he made Sally slip on a County kit and a pair of shin pads.

Never abandon ITV.  A couple of years ago, the Coronation Street set was awash with Visa ads as part of its product placement deal.  You couldn't move for card machines and CONTACTLESS ACCEPTED HERE stickers taking up half the glass in the Bistro's front door.  It lead to some incongruous sights as the likes of Norris casually paid for his half of bitter with a casual tap as though that was a perfectly normal thing for a stick in the mud like him to do.  The sponsorship deal ended though, and all those signs vanished overnight, sent to the same place as the Nationwide cash machine and Tracy's Interflora bags.  It must've been an acrimonious split because on Wednesday Dev went off on a rant about card payments, reveling in good old fashioned cash and blaming the ease of tapping for the nation's debts.  Be warned, Costa; stop paying for that shop and Ken Barlow will soon be making speeches about the evils of coffee and how all the viewers should save their money and stay at home with a nice cup of Typhoo.

Fiz doesn't know who Larry Grayson is.  A Generation Game discussion in the cafe lead to Carla using one of television's most famous catchphrases: "Shut that door!"  Fiz then tried to shut the door.  I know she's too young to remember Imperial Phase Lal; the Gen Game was in its best-not-dwelled-upon Jim Davidson era when she was young, and like most of the UK, she probably skipped the Mel & Sue revival.  Still, you'd have thought a little of the camp comedian's iconic presence would've filtered into her consciousness.  Allow me to point her in the direction of the 90 minute Shut That Door documentary about Larry Grayson's life, still available on the ITV Hub.  Slack Alice would approve.

You say it best when you say nothing at all.  Sally Metcalfe is a legend, an icon, and a woman I would crawl across broken glass to share a candlelight supper with.  She is not, I'm afraid, tactful, and indeed can make some of her worst faux pas while trying to be considerate.  She warned Tim against party poppers at Jack's party as the unexpected bangs "might make him fall over"; she reassured Paula that she would "never leave a child with one foot at home"; she empathised with Isla by telling her Sophie's had "loads of disastrous relationships".  Really she's worse as your friend than your enemy.  She does have her plus sides though, like a coffee machine with pods and a John Lewis pedestal mat to protect her against Tim's little accidents.  I wish they'd make her friends with Moira - after Ms Pollock's damning verdict on Toyah's dress sense, wouldn't you love to see the two of them perched on the end of the bar in the Rovers casting a critical eye over the patrons and passive aggressively insulting one another?  (Incidentally, look at the state of Kevin's grouting!  Get in there with some Cillit Bang for goodness' sake).

Get your money's worth out of every set.  It's always weird when we see a new angle on a familiar location.  Every now and then a director will shoot Gail's house from the opposite wall and it takes me a few minutes to get my head round her electric fire.  This week they introduced a whole new feature to number 9; Tyrone has a carpet!  We got a good look at it as he tried to watch the video Jackie left him (wasn't it a shame the tape broke just before she appeared?  Well, a shame for us, a boon for the accounting department, who wouldn't have to pay Margi Clarke a guest star fee).  They were so chuffed with this new angle that Tyrone didn't get up off the floor for the rest of the show, playing with the girls while squatting on the pile and ignoring the sofa altogether.  Either they wanted to get their money's worth or there was a particularly grouchy cameraman with arthritis who'd bent down for that first shot and couldn't get back up again.

I know the biggest news of this week was the return of Jim McDonald, but I'm bracing myself for that upcoming awful storyline, and I don't really want to dwell on it.  Sympathise with me over on Twitter @merseytart.

---

Please read our advice for leaving comments on the Coronation Street Blog
All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License