Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Sally's new bathroom might have to wait.  There were many tragic elements to the fall of Mayor Sally Metcalfe this week: the foiled ambition, the humiliation, the fact that she fell for Duncan when he was clearly bent as a nine bob note right from the start.  The saddest loss was that paying back the forty grand will mean Sal will probably have to give up on her new bathroom.  She was halfway through a mood board based on the ladies' loos at Beasley's in Alderley Edge; that sort of quality doesn't come cheap.  I'm extremely upset that we will never get to see Sally's gracious new powder room. I bet it hasn't been done up since the days of Claire and Ashley, and you can only imagine their taste in towel rails.

Craig is in touch with his feminine side.  I know in 2018 we're meant to be breaking down the boundaries of gender and embracing those who don't conform to society's norms.  It still came as something of a shock to see burly six foot policeman Craig Tinker reacting to a break-up by hiding under a duvet with a tub of Ben & Jerry's and watching Notting Hill.  Is he Bridget Jones?  Was there another scene where he mimed along to All By Myself while knocking back the Chardonnay?  Leaving all that aside, we're in the middle of a heatwave and Craig is sliding under a 15 tog; that sofa must've needed wringing out afterwards.

You're paid to act, not to talk.  Caught up in the middle of the Hairdresser Wars, this poor supporting artist had to convey a multitude of emotions without speaking.  If she'd uttered a line, she'd have become a featured player and cost the production money, so instead she was forced to rely on skills learned in a single mime class at LAMDA in 1988.  First she was intrigued by Maria's shoddy handmade sign; then she was enthused by the prospect of half-price haircuts; then she looked horrified as David put her off.  Bless her, she did her best, but Maggie Smith would've struggled with that rollercoaster of feeling without a single "yes" in the middle.  I hope she's rewarded for her efforts with a regular slot propping up the bar in the Rovers with a cream sherry.

Take the foils out early.  Speaking of Hairdresser Wars, can we just take a moment to revel in this glorious vision of Gail with a shag?  I know it wasn't deliberate but tidy it up a bit and it'd look marvelous.  She's clung to that finely crafted helmet of hair longer than her last two marriages so it's nice to see her with a bit of liveliness in her 'do.  In the Audrey vs Maria war I am very much Team Roberts, like all right thinking people, though this may change once the fabulous Claudia Colby rears her immaculate bouffant again.

Maybe there's a reason you've slipped through the cracks.  Sean Tully has been a full-time Corrie character since 2004.  In that time he's worked in the Rovers, the medical centre and the factory, bringing him into contact with every single other resident.  Yet when he is down on his luck, he can't find a single person willing to offer him a bed.  Is this because they've misinterpreted the clues, and his pride is stopping him from saying how desperate he is?  Or is it because after fourteen years they're all sick to the back teeth of him and wish he'd just go away?  Who can tell?

@merseytart would like to do tai chi with Gemma, mainly because it probably involves eating chips afterwards.

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