There's been a Corrie murrderr!

As much as this Corrie fan enjoyed the scintillating subplot the other evening over who would clean out Sunita's blocked guttering (euphemism?) I personally can't wait for this once  sweet, normal, well-rounded character to depart from our screens.

We know it will happen at some point this year however what, this concerned blogger wonders, will mark her exit? Given Sunita's storylines since she returned in 2009 it could go either way - from the mundane and seriously humdrum to out and out lunacy which could only normally be explained by a bang to the head. My prediction is she will finally throw in the towel with the dreadful Karl and plead for Devendra to take her back. Obviously this will end badly and she will leave the street without a lover. Will she take little Aldi and Netto with her when she leaves? Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares? At least if she does she will be doing her bit for the environment as there will be two less Corrie children to be sent upstairs.

So I'm going for a predictable end to this wholly unedifying story. However, if I had my way this rubbish would end with all guns blazing. The writers turfed believability out with the barm cakes when they gave Sunita's personality a complete transformation overnight. (Was there something in the coffee at the story conference that day?) 

As a Scotsman I am still mourning the loss of Taggart from our screens. Let's face it, it gave regular work to many Scottish thespians in between panto seasons. So I am proposing a lovely Coronation Street / Taggart cross-over episode which would clean this mess of a storyline up in a tartan-themed bloodbath. Sadly the late-lamented Mark McManus is no longer around to utter menacingly "if ewes dinnae shut it, you'll be wearin' yer baws as earings"* but there is always Blythe Duff, who I am sure would be only too happy to lend a hand. There was also that little gay cop who was very gay but never mentioned it. 

So tell us the plot, I hear you cry? Ok, then. The Krankies, finally free from a festive season of Glaswegian pantomime with John Barrowman (this time it was he who fell off a prop), arrive in Weatherfield to seek revenge on DI Robbie Ross for abandoning Glasgow, ditching his Scottish accent and assuming the false identity of Karl Munro. Unfortunately Jeanette's aim isn't what it was and they take out Sunita be mistake. Bucking the trend for those who live on in a street despite having suffered endless tragedies there, Dev decides to move on, taking Aldi and Netto with him. Who knows, in time he may learn to love again, adding to his brood of mostly forgotten children with baby Lidl.

Coming face to face with The Krankies brings DI Ross back to reality. He returns to Glasgow immediately to reprise Taggart with his old colleagues, agreeing to squeeze in a Christmas 2013 panto with Clare Grogan and the woman who ran the shop in Take The High Road. Right, I'm off for a packet of Tunnocks Teacakes and a quick Gay Gordons. 

Oh, and by the way Corrie: next time you cast a Scottish actor, please let them speak in their native tongue. In the Great Britain of 2013, people do occasionally migrate. 

*Do contact me if you require a translation


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