What the world needs now, is love sweet love sang the great Jackie DeShannon about 350 years ago. How wrong she was - certainly where Corrie is concerned. Scott's excellent blog about Leanne Battersby-Tilsley-Barlow-Quite Possibly Tilsley Again got me thinking. Where is the Street's tart without a heart? Where is the over made-up troll, anyone's for a vodka and yours for a tenner? Or maybe even a Tanner?Leanne, with her voice like a flock of crows, is probably the best tart we've had hanging around the cobbles for many a decade. She's certainly the only one who ever made any money out of the world's oldest profession. Bet was all front and Elsie was just a series of old blouses topped off with her "I've been there kid" ironic smile.
What the Street could do with is a dose (and my nominee has probably had one or two of those . . .) of a good old-fashioned, nicotine-stained, hard-faced, Elizabeth Duke jewellery-wearing spitbag. Step forward Kelly Maguire from Shameless! The show is due to end it's decade-long run this year so how about Kelly moves across Manchester to Weatherfield. This woman's morals are so low they could limbo dance under a blade of grass. She does her shopping dressed in micro-knickers, enjoys a snifter or two of the Bolivian Marching Powder but also possesses a good head for business. I'm thinking Corner Shop perhaps? Or maybe Carla could run up a new 'slut chic' line? Although I can't see Hayley parading round in fishnets and a grubby fake-fur coat. Emily on the other hand . . .
Anyway ITV1, make us all proud and sign up this wondrous baggage. Maybe Kelly could even bring along her Bo Selecta-looking madam, Lilian? A nation waits.
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Sounds very like Fat Brenda - bring her on!!
ReplyDeleteEva certainly fits the bill for over-made up trollop. Kylie has the moral which limbo and Tracy has the heartless tart bit all sewn up. So what is the complaint?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! Actually, a few of the Shameless Characters could fit into Corrie. I'd love to see Kev and Veronica Ball move in. They would really be the new Jack and Vera. And Yvonne Karib at the Corner Shop. A million times better than Dev.
ReplyDeleteCorrie should really offer you a job, Clinkers.
LOL - great write-up! Well Eva's morals are pretty low, her cleavage pretty high, she already shops at 'Sluts are Us', apparently drinks, not sure about her business sense since she sits all day sewing endless knickers...so there you go, she's already here, no need to add yet another character to the many, many, many trodding the cobbles.
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree that we need to see Fat Brenda on the cobbles, now! :)
ReplyDeleteCould have Chesney Karib take over the corner shop. In Shameless his father was played by Chris Bisson who also played Devs cousin Vikram
ReplyDelete"Leanne, with her voice like a flock of crows"
ReplyDelete- Hee hee hee! Good one. LOLoud at that!
Yes, bring Vikram back though looks as if he has propered since leaving Corrie.
ReplyDelete...should be prospered...
ReplyDeleteI felt Becky fitted that roll quiet well at one point!
ReplyDelete