New Year New Corrie?

Soaps are the talk of social media at the minute. Eastenders is good again, classic Emmerdale has just replayed those iconic plane crash episodes. And Coronation Street is dreadful. That’s what some are saying anyway and there’s a bit of theme to conversations around our longest running and much loved northern soap. ITV’s two big hitters Corrie and Emmerdale both seem to be suffering the same criticism…too many characters, poor scripts and more episodes than we need or want.

The latter will be due to the obvious fact that ITV is a very big and potentially very profitable business. More episodes of popular shows means more ad revenue in the breaks. And even as the quality of our favourite shows is affected, as it clearly is as more episodes are churned out, several million viewers regularly flocking to traditional TV channels means very happy ITV fat cats. But something has to give. 

Eagle-eyed viewers may have spotted fluffed lines in a recent episode of Coronation Street. Alongside a some very questionable directorial and editing decisions and camera wizardry. And it hasn’t gone unnoticed that some recent scripts seem to be written by people who have never watched the show. There are some things that Corrie’s icons would just not say and too many terrible script lines seem to slip through the net these days.

That said, Peter’s goodbye the other day was emotional (if a little rushed). The Rovers is open with Betty’s photo back where it belongs keeping watch over the punters, which can only be a good thing. And Coronation Street is jam packed with brilliant characters just waiting to be given some decent storylines and dialogue. 

Which is where we need to talk about what’s wrong with Corrie and how 2024 can only get better if a few things are addressed. Yes, everyone’s an expert. Suddenly we all know how to run a TV soap better than Iain MacLeod. But actually if lots of people are saying the same thing, maybe there’s something in it.

So whether you want them or not…here are a few suggestions to help get Corrie back on track in 2024.

CORRIE IS AN INSTITUTION. STOP MESSING WITH IT.

Creating dynamic, entertaining episodes of Coronation Street shouldn’t be like reinventing the wheel. It’s a cobbled back street. No fancy camera techniques are going to change that. And there needs to be some consistency between different directors, who often seem to have their own style. This isn’t the kind of job where you should be expecting to leave your own mark or identity. 

Also, except at Christmas or on very special occasions…no background music please. No sound effects. No dream sequences. A nice CGI moon over the Rovers is nice every now and then but that’s about it.

Think about some of the biggest episodes in the show’s history. Engaging stories, good dialogue and pulling at the heart stings with a good dose of humour. Simplicity works. 

NO. MORE. CHARACTERS.

When I think of the Corrie cast list I’m reminded of those trains in Japan with people on the platform jamming passengers through closing doors onto clearly full carriages. Just stop. It’s full. 

This could be part of the reason some characters aren’t cutting through. There’s not enough time and space for them all. At this rate they'll need to create a new tower block in Weatherfield just to house everyone.

FEWER CHARACTERS ACTUALLY?

Some are calling for a character cull. This might not be a bad idea. Simon Barlow and Beth Tinker are reportedly on their way out. Two down…

THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

Corrie will only draw in a younger audience (which is probably another ITV demand) when it gets the basics right. You can’t just throw in the cast of the Village of the Damned and expect them to fit in. Quality control is also an issue here. The kids are trying their best and this is no criticism of them, but there must be so much talent in the North West perhaps casting bods could widen their net a bit and find some hidden talent further afield than Cheshire?

The quads are getting big

WE JUST DON’T CARE.

We don’t care about Stu or Dom. Or Eliza. Or Yasmeen for that matter. We don’t care about Summer, or any of her boyfriends. We don’t care about Sean’s parenting. We don’t care about Dylan nor do we understand why he would rather be in Weatherfield with Sean than London and not with Sean. We don’t care about anything Shona has to say. We don’t care about Adam and Sarah’s on-off marriage. We don’t care about the Bistro. Or the police station which has had more scenes in it than the Rovers recently. 

Whoever gets shot or kidnapped next, guess what…we don’t care.

It’s all so dull.
 
WOMEN
In a relatively short time Eastenders has gone from poor ratings and rumours of the chop, to back to the very top of it’s game. A reset after the pandemic might have helped. It’s revival has seen producers put women front and centre. The BBC soap has been lucky enough to have icons of years past to bring back, in Kathy (Gillian Taylforth) and Cindy (Michelle Collins). Eastenders has realised that there’s comfort in the familiar and soap only really works when there are strong women leading the charge. Add in a bit of camp from writers such as Daran Little and the stories don’t need to be believable they just have to be entertaining as proven this Christmas as half the cast become implicated in murder. It’s as ridiculous as it is brilliant. 'The Six' long-running storyline that unravelled at Christmas was peppered with genius little comedic moments amidst all the edge-of-your-seat drama. It was really good telly. 

There aren’t many icons Corrie could tempt back. Bev Callard as Liz McDonald is an obvious one though that doesn’t seem likely any time soon. But Coronation Street isn’t short of characters and actors who can go toe-to-toe with their London rivals. Jenny Bradley has become a much-loved Cobbles matriarch. Alongside Daisy and Rita, that’s quite a formidable family. Debbie Webster is criminally underused. As is Glenda. Perhaps 2024 will be the year the Shuttleworths finally get settled in and we have some decent storylines for Tony Maudsley and Jodie Prenger. 

Tracy Barlow could do with coming out of hibernation too. 

A NEW MIKE BALDWIN?
Another part of the formula for a successful soap is the presence of a baddie or a lovable rogue. Tracy has filled that role well over the years. Cain fills those shoes over in Emmerdale and Janine Butcher has done the same in Eastenders until recently. Factory mogul Mike Baldwin was Corrie’s answer to Donald Trump for decades. He was the character viewers loved to hate and we need some of that back on Corrie. I always thought Max Beesley, born in Burnage, would be a good Corrie rogue….

Petition to get Max Beesley in Corrie starts here

THE ROVERS RETURN
The New Year saw the return of the Rovers Return. Thank god. And wasn’t it nice to hear that buzz of people in the background after what seems like years of emptiness and no atmosphere since the pandemic. So what if pubs are empty in the real world? Corrie’s not real - lift our spirits a bit and have that place full to the rafters! Put the pub back at the centre of the show.

At the minute, even the decent storylines in Corrie seem rushed and badly thought out. Attention to detail is lacking at it seems like those at the top have run out of steam. Coronation Street appears lost and unloved. 

So a reminder to Corrie bosses and ITV….you’ve got a massive, loved and cherished TV show and all the resources that go with it at your fingertips. What are you waiting for? Do something decent with it. Surprise us!

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