Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Love is pain.  Welcome back to the Street Eileen, who hasn't been in the show since January.  There aren't any scenes in the cab office any more - presumably because they can't keep two metres' distance - but it's good to see she's still in the middle of her romance with the lovely George.  Although it must be going a bit slow if after months she's only now realised he never stays the night.  Big fan of the afternoon delight, it seems.  Eileen thought this was because he had another woman on the go but the truth is far more simple: George would rather sleep in his comfy bed in his no doubt well appointed house than work his way through the parade of misfits who occupy the Grimshaw house.  No amount of hot sex with Eileen is worth risking seeing Sean going to the bathroom of a morning in a silk housecoat that barely covers his nethers.  

The reason for all the confusion was Mr Little, a recently deceased gentleman who it turns out had two wives.  There's an awful lot of bigamy in Weatherfield, isn't there?  Just on this street alone we have Peter, Tim and Beth.  Is this what council cuts have done to our registrar services?  Are they no longer looking out for this kind of thing?  Someone alert Councillor Connor, this sounds like an easy election win.

Earn your keep.  Jacob was forced to go cap in hand to Amy in search of the rent money.  Couldn't he just, you know, get a job?  I admit having 2020-2021: Smack dealer on your CV is a tricky one to gloss over in the interview, but there are people on the Street who've done far worse and who are successful small business owners these days (no names, Tracy Barlow).  There's a national labour shortage Jacob - go out and pick strawberries or something.  And don't take any lip from Simon who, and I'm sorry to keep banging this drum, still doesn't seem to be doing anything useful with his life.  You can sneer at the unemployed when you're making your own living Barlow, and not before.

Jacob formed a power alliance with Evelyn to flog alcopops from the gardens.  I was deeply shocked, as I had no idea alcopops were still a thing; I thought it was all "hard seltzers" these days and the era of Hooch and Smirnoff Mule was left in the 90s.  I do like it when they remember Evelyn's a bit shifty, and have her wheeling and dealing; similarly, I like that between Mary the other week and now Evelyn Jacob appears to be charming all the game old birds of the Street.  Next thing you know he'll be having a G&T with Audrey and poring through ChitChat in the Kabin with Rita.

We all need a Beth in our lives.  There is a danger that the characters on Coronation Street can be a bit bland.  They're all very much live and let live, whatever gets you through the day modern folks, unbothered by race or gender or sexuality, free and easy with their sex lives and forgiving of people's sins.  Even the vicar.  Thank heavens then for Beth, who livens things up with her fondness for blunt talking and outright offensiveness.  While Shona and David and Maria were deeply sympathetic towards Nicky, Beth wandered around calling her a "prozzie" and sneering down her nose at the vulnerable former sex worker.  Similarly, she took great delight in wafting the Gazette in Maria's face, laughing at her becoming front page news for the roughhousing at Rick's funeral.  I wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with her, but it's good to have her rattling round the Street stirring things up.  Sometimes you need a hard edge.

Check your meter.  Tim and Sally's Big Box of Dress Up got another outing this week as she attempted some traffic warden related role-play.  This effort was pretty lazy compared with their previous efforts, consisting of only a high-vis jacket and a cap she'd borrowed off Fergus.  The latter fact might have been the reason for Tim's lack of performance - it must be hard to get too aroused when you last saw that cap on top of a beard.  (It does raise hope that Fergus may one day return to the show).  If you're finding all this grubby sex talk hilarious, congratulations, I'm very pleased for you.  Personally I'm almost at the stage where I wish they'd bring back Sam's chessboard.  Almost.

Keep your nose out.  Can we just stop with people accidentally walking in at exactly the right moment?  This week alone we got Daisy interrupting Nicky and Daniel the very instant they touched hands, Summer arriving in the cafe in the middle of the Summer Summit, Max conveniently being round the corner as Daniel shouted about his Sex Cardigan, Adam walking in while Imran met that dodgy but fit bloke, and Sean loitering in the Alleyway of Doom to hear about the bigamist.  It's so lazy and relies on people doing very private things in very public places all the time.  Take Imran and the paralegal; if you're going to hand over a big wodge of fivers to someone, the absolute worst place to do it is in the cafe round the corner owned by a man on Abi's side.  It's insulting to the audience's intelligence.  Also, if you're going to put Sean in the Alleyway of Doom, at least have the good grace to crack him over the skull with a polo mallet.  It's a wasted opportunity otherwise.

Does anyone know what university Summer's going to?  It almost never gets mentioned.  Let me know on Twitter @merseytart.

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