Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 5th April

 
I've done a full 180 on the Fizlinarone love triangle. I thought the storyline was going to be a tawdry affair a la Molly and Kevin, but it's been more of a sad story of a five year itch in which you end up feeling sorry for all parties. Tyrone, because he genuinely likes Alina but wants to do the right thing by Fiz and the girls, but at the same time he is a sad, almost forty cliche. Fiz is the injured party, but she's never been particularly respectful towards Tyrone. And Alina, she done bad but she's never had that much luck with blokes has she, from Seb to David to Ty. Also Fiz: if you think you're an unfanciable drudge because you're spending all your time washing your partner's pants and overalls, then maybe wake up to the fact that it's 2021, not 1971, and men are allowed to use washing machines now, even the toploading one that Fiz and Tyrone presumably inherited from Jack 'n' Vera. 

 
Anyway the Dobbs-Stapes are ready to go on holiday until Fiz finds out that Ty helped Alina carry some boxes into the salon. Things go from dumb to worse as the salon is raided by immigration - not checking if Alina has got settled status, but because she's allegedly taking cash in hand, off the books. Wouldn't that be HMRC and wouldn't it take a few weeks, or more likely months, for them to do an investigation, rather than half an hour? Tyrone blames Fiz but it turns out that it was Gemma, who lest we forget, had rather more than a kiss with Tyrone whilst Fiz was away on maternity leave staying with Cilla, who rang the feds (not quite sure why Tyrone is quite the, erm, lady magnet but we're going to have to accept that, improbable as it seems). Fiz demands to know once and for all what Tyrone's feelings are and he blurts out that he loves Aline. Hope Alina is good with small children as we all know Tyrone is incapable of having a job and looking after his kid as well.

Talking of romance, or lack thereof, Seb brings round a (half price) Easter egg for Nina who tells him that they can't date anymore because of Asha. Excuses, much?  Although she goes into full reverse when David tells her that Seb is getting his lovely locks cut off and she storms around to the barbers, only to find out that it's a wind up and rather than telling Seb to sling his hook, she agrees to another date with him. The goth and the man-bun was last week's Only Connect final (we all watch that in between Monday's episodes, right?)

Also talking of romance, or lack thereof, Tim and Sally are off to Formby to see the red squirrels, leaving Fay(e) and Craig alone in the house for some Netflix and chill, apart from Elaine who is there to, erm, can I say cock-block stymie the teen romance with a load of VHSs from the Roy Castle charity shop - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The King And I, The Sound of Music, etc. I guess Elaine has not heard of ITV2. Craig gets devious and gets Alya to call in Elaine for a Speed Daal shift so that socially distanced romance can occur.

Simon goes over to Peter's (Ken's) as his dad is cooking a roast dinner (that sounds...unlikely), leaving Leanne alone with Harvey - and Nick who comes round to get a laptop charger, at which point, Leanne demands his key (for his flat!) just before Harvey's lieutenant Ned arrives to bag up drugs in the flat. After some shenanigans in which Ned jokes about Leanne wearing a wire, she then manages to slip out to report back to DC Designer Stubble.

 
Brian is giving the paper boy a quick rub (missus) as he finds out from David that Dev is now selling papers and greetings cards. Brian is on the front page of the Gazette as the troll - like all local rags, they get all their news from the internet - so it's not a good day for the Kabin, but it gets worse as a brick is thrown through the window. I guess people are very bored during lockdown. Anyway, this forces Cathy to 'fess up that she is the troll and not B-Pac.

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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