Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 5 March

Evening Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.

Leanne gets up to find Simon and Jacob sat in her living room counting their drug money. Either they’ve made shed loads of cash or neither of them can count past ten cos they’ve been there since Wednesday night.

She tries the patented Battersby scowl and tells Jacob to get out but only succeeds in smashing Oliver’s music box. As she miserably picks up the pieces Simon tells her Jacob is the only reason they can still live there. Is anyone else getting annoyed by this massive plot-hole? Nick has only moved out temporarily. Is he supposed have signed over all the rent and bills to Leanne? 

When Simon goes out to continue his and Jacob’s nefarious activities, Leanne goes to No.1 in a state wanting Peter’s help. She’s come at a bad time as Peter can only seem to cope with doing his tedious jigsaw puzzle in a blanket and wandering the streets at 5am. Carla suspects he’s drinking again so tells Leanne he can’t cope with any more stress. When he walks in on Carla and Leanne discussing Simon, Carla lies and says that he’s just struggling with his A-Levels. He says it’s a relief as he couldn’t cope with anything bad.

Having persuaded a reluctant Leanne not to involve Peter, Carla goes to try to sort Jacob out herself. Because if Todd’s situation has taught us anything it’s that all gangsters need in order to be persuaded to drop their violent agendas is a stern talking to from an older woman. She tells him that he’s a little boy playing at being a gangster and he needs to leave Si alone, but it has zero effect. I can’t help thinking that Leanne has asked the wrong Barlow woman for help. Get Tracy on the case. I know she’s a reformed character now but I’m sure she could be persuaded to bash someone over the head with a blunt instrument again if the situation demanded it.

Meanwhile, Yasmeen is out of hospital having been diagnosed with a panic attack. The doctor recommends anti-depressants and counselling but she says no to both. She’s also adamant that she no longer wants Speed Daal or the house, intending to give the former to Tim/Elaine and the latter to Alya. Elaine calls in to see her with a gift of brandy, and after half a glass Yas has told her she can have her shares in Speed Daal and move into No.6. For the love of God Elaine don't give her anymore to drink, she’ll end up offering you one of her kidneys!

In other news, Tyrone goes to see Alina to return her yoga mat and ends up helping her with spreadsheets, which is probably the most boring beginning to the affair which is inevitably coming for these two. Also, Sean is getting grief from everyone about his boxes of unsellable make-up so decides that he will call Rhydian and tell him he wants out.

Back on the mean streets, Simon has a go at Leanne for telling Carla about his drug dealing. She pleads with him, but he lets Jacob into the flat again and the little toerags loll around flat playing video games and making blim burns in her sofa. Leanne sits there silently furious but when Jacob starts making fun of Oliver’s nursery rhyme CD she snaps, picks up a rolling pin and orders him out threatening to call the police. He tells her that she won’t do it as it would mean having her own son arrested too.

Back at No.1 Peter comes in from the back yard stumbling into a piece of furniture. Has he been drinking again? We’ll find out next week.

And that’s all for this week. I’ve been quite perplexed by Carla’s outfit tonight as half of the material of her top seemed to be missing. If this is what you young ‘uns call ‘fashion’ please explain it to me in the comments or on twitter @mskelstar 

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