Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Everyone has a limit.  I accept that Corey is a perv, a bully, and doesn't suit that little bumfluff moustache one bit.  But can we give him a bit of kudos for waiting until Asha's sixteenth birthday until he tried to have sex with her?  Most teenage boys would've been whining for months that if she really loved him she'd have given up her virginity, and, as we've seen from the likes of Sarah-Lou, Faye and Amy, it probably would've worked.  Corey, on the other hand, waited until she was at least of legal age before he tried to give her the birthday gift of his unsheathed penis.  Thankfully, his lack of consideration for her feelings, combined with his general sleaziness, finally got through to Asha and she kicked him out.  The tragic break up of her relationship caused Dev and Aadi to do a little dance which was absolutely brilliant.

The twins' sixteenth birthday (don't get me started on the dates of that, by the way, let's just agree there's been a time slip somewhere along the line) was a great excuse for the scriptwriters to make it Alahan Week and I enjoyed every minute of it.  Whether it was Dev tearing up as he saw his little kiddies getting older, Aadi putting on a suit and trying to boss "Bernadette and Catherine" about, or Asha having a plotline that didn't see her descend into a mass of snot and self-loathing, all three members of the family were joyous and wonderful.  Honestly Dev should've got an Inside Soap Award for his pronunciation of "classic of Indian cinema" alone.  Special mention should go to Adam Hussein, who's managed to slip into the role of Aadi so well and establish great chemistry with his onscreen sister and dad even though he's had to do it during a pandemic and a lockdown and at two metre's distance.  Everyone at number seven is a star and I'm ridiculously invested in their lovely little family.  Knuckle down and get those qualifications kids and make us all proud.  

Up the women!  Of course one of the key activating factors in Asha's realisation that Corey was bad for her was Nina opening up her mind to feminist theories and female empowerment.  Her unselfish, unembarrassed support for Asha is a real treat, with her blithely complimenting her friends' appearance and giving her a gift she'd truly treasure.  When Yasmeen pointed out Corey's bad behaviour, Nina was right in there to reinforce her points.  For all her general awesomeness, Nina's not really had a plotline of her own since her dad died, and the producers should rectify this immediately.  She's unproblematic and wonderful and they should probably send her into Wethy High to give lectures to the teenage girls on how to have high self-esteem.  Nina could single-handedly build a generation of powerful strong women to take over the Street.

We interrupt this blog for a commercial break:

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Do you like soggy batter?

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Then come to For Your Fries Only, where our expert chefs will lovingly craft your fish supper, only for it to be completely ruined because our delivery service is one teenage boy who hasn't got a car or a moped so he just walks really really fast.  If you're lucky, Simon will stick them in the basket on his BMX and hope that the local dogs don't catch a whiff of him as he cycles past and chase him down for his saveloy.  But otherwise, if you live any further away than, say, Balaclava Terrace, you might be better off breaking out the McCain Oven Chips.

Emma is right where she belongs.  Ever since she arrived in the show, Emma has slowly been moving from the periphery to its heart.  At first she was just a ditzy apprentice with a temporary contract, there to get in between David and Shona and nothing more.  She was such a star she got promoted to series regular, and then, after a while, brought into the McDonald family as another product of Steve's super sperm.  She also started work behind the bar, a position that carries a great historic weight; barmaid at the Rovers Return is a job that has a certain level of cultural caché, like being a Bond Girl or a Doctor Who companion.  Now she's finally taken the significant step of moving into the pub itself as a tenant, presumably into the Raquel Wolstenhulme Memorial Bedroom, and I'm thrilled at the idea of Emma participating in those pre-shift cuppas in the back room with Jenny.  Even better, if the producers want to do a 21st century version of this iconic scene with Emma and Jenny, I would be very much on board with that.

  

I'm also keen on this new arrangement because it seems to have put Daisy's nose out of joint.  Every now and then, the Corrie producers get it into their head that they need to introduce a "minx" character, a sexy, sarcastic woman who wanders round the Street seducing the men and stealing their wallets.  They usually end up going one of two ways.  Either they're toned down after a couple of months - it's hard to remember now, after her years as a professional victim, but Bethany returned to the show as a high school runaway in a tiny skirt who tried to get Gary to buy her a drink in the pub - or they are written out of the show altogether because they're awful in general.  It's still too early to tell with Daisy, but the signs aren't good; she has a brittle quality to her that means what could be quite funny lines instead come off as plain unpleasant.  Perhaps she'll calm down.  Perhaps we'll get a revelation of some deep dark secret that will humanise her.  Or perhaps her contract will expire and she'll wander off and never be seen again.

Emma moving into the Rovers does mean that the happy band at the hairdresser flat have been broken up.  I say "happy band" - back in the Spring Emma gave Seb a month to move out because he was trying to run two women at the same time, but lockdown seems to have brought them together as friends.  I'm not sure why they couldn't rent a flat or a house together but as with all living arrangements in Corrie, it's best not to query it too much, because that way madness lies.  Instead Seb is now in number 13, and Alina Pop! is sleeping on Tyrone's sofa, a truly weird arrangement given that I'm not sure Alina and Tyrone had ever spoken to one another prior to last week.  Fiz was naturally annoyed that they were getting a new roommate, saying there was no room.  This is absolutely true, but this time last year Jade was somehow living in the house too so there is precedent.  Did they ever finish that loft conversion?  Tyrone started it, but then there was a whole business with some cheap plasterboard and he fell through the ceiling, and I'm not sure he ever finished.  Whatever happens, at least it means we're not going to lose Alina Pop! and her scintillating personality and joie de vivre.  "Hurrah". 

Stick some product on it.  Ken Barlow is, for a man in his eighties, in remarkably good shape, and still models a fine head of lustrous thick hair.  However, in the last few episodes that magnificent mane has looked a little bit raggedy and rough.  At first I thought this was a character choice, with Peter's decision to drink himself to death driving Ken to despair and away from the Pantene, but I realised there's a far more simple explanation.  With the pandemic putting all sorts of limits on contact and social distancing, hairdressing is one of those jobs that the actors have been forced to take on themselves, and I twigged that Bill Roache hasn't done his own hair for sixty years.  Every week he's turned up at Granada or MediaCity and somebody else has teased and combed and washed it for him.  He probably can't remember how a hairbrush works any more.  In those circumstances we should be glad his hair looks as good as it does, and also glad that he's not entirely reliant on a wardrobe mistress to dress him as well.

That was a remarkably chipper Five Things, because it was actually a great week of the show, if you ignore all the stuff with Peter and Carla and Ray and Faye and Maria and Tim and Adam and Peter again.  Hmm.  Maybe it wasn't such a good week after all.  Let me know what you thought on Twitter @merseytart.

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