Coronation Street Blog: The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 20th and 23rd September 1996

The Historical Society turned up in Coronation Street, but Mavis was horrified to learn they were actually a Murder Tour. They were there to see the spot where Ernie Bishop had been shot, which turned out to be where the Wiltons' house was now. Emily was deeply upset and also hurt that Mavis hadn't told her, though the Wiltons hadn't thought of Ernie when they gave permission for the tour. When Mavis apologised Emily coolly told her she's an unthinking idiot who always picks the easy way out. Can you imagine if they did a Murder Tour of Coronation Street in 2020? It'd take all week. Just covering Yasmeen's house would take you half a day. Maureen got all dressed up for another date, but was stood up. She cried on Bill's shoulder and he ended up kissing her. Rita helped Fiona prep for her singing job, but she wasn't impressed by the tawdriness of it all, and decided to quit. Having heard her performance I think that's wise. Jim clattered around the Street, drunk and furious with the world, bellowing at Sally and Jack and Andy and generally being deeply unpleasant. And the Square Dealers plotline continued but it remains astonishingly tedious and unfunny.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 25th and 27th September 1996

The Platts returned from Canada without Nicky; he'd been enrolled in a private school, apparently. A private school with a really good gym. Don got incredibly angry when he heard because Nicky was paying the fees with the money he got from selling number 5 to Don. Tricia went to visit Carl in prison and told him that they were finished. When she confessed she was also pregnant he got angry and attacked her. Fiona was persuaded to resume her singing, though she insisted on getting a proper contract from Alec. When she actually turned up for the gig though the club was tacky and shabby and certainly not as good as her amazing frock. Curly went to the Square Dealers, thinking he was going to be promoted to the secret inner ~~circle~~ rectangle, but they were actually giving him a dressing down. They were convinced he was the one who'd told Jack all about the secrets of the association and didn't believe his denials. They told him he'd have to perform the Forty Nine Tasks. I hope one of them is moving to Preston so we don't have to bother with this any more.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 30th September and 2nd October 1996

Raquel's back! She'd finished her aromatherapy course in Maidenhead and come back with a posh haircut and classy clothing, looking a lot more like Sarah Lancashire than Raquel Watts if we're honest. You can tell she's basically working her notice. Raquel was deeply unimpressed by all this Square Dealer nonsense because she's a sensible girl deep down. Tricia's busted face caused consternation throughout the Street, upsetting Jack and Vera and worrying Jamie. He became convinced that she was spreading herself around and told Deirdre that what his mum needed was his dad around to protect her. Meanwhile the police asked her to press charges against Carl but she refused, saying she simply wanted him out of her life. And Maureen realised that Bill had been blabbing to Jim about their relationship and her use of a dating agency and felt hurt and betrayed.

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 4th and 7th October 1996

Andy moved in with Anne and she gave him a present: a rent book. She wanted him to claim Housing Benefit which is actually illegal but never mind. Tricia admitted to Jamie that her fat lip was down to Carl, but he refused to believe her. He tried to run away from school to see his dad in Strangeways but Ken persuaded him to stay. He talked to Tricia and she decided to let Jamie see Carl. Alf turned 70, and convinced himself that Audrey was taking him to see Grease at the theatre. He decided to dress up in his old Teddy Boy gear which was a sight to behold. It turned out Audrey hadn't managed to get any tickets and was just throwing a party in the Rovers, plus a trip to a spa which was, let's be honest, mainly for her benefit. He was horrified when he realised it cost eight hundred quid.

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 9th and 11th October 1996

Raquel had had enough of Curly's Square Dealers nonsense, and asked Jack where he'd learned the secret phrases. He told her it was Alec, so she asked Alec to sort it out, and he promised to do his best. Curly was embarrassed to learn she was trying to sort it out for him so she gave him an ultimatum; either he sorted it out himself or resign. When Alec told the Square Dealers that he was responsible for the oaths being leaked they told Curly he didn't need to do the Forty Nine Tasks, so he withdrew his resignation, which upset Raquel. There was also a lovely scene where Raquel and Des cleared the air, with her wishing him well with Claire, but he did remind her that Curly really wasn't right for her. Carl sent Tricia a letter, telling her that she'd cost him his parole, and saying that he knew Jamie wasn't really his. Jamie sneaked a look at the letter though and had an emotional heart to heart with Jack about it. Tricia burned the letter, telling Jamie that he was his biological father, but it needed more than that to be a dad, and Carl was now out of their lives. And after Alf complained about the spa not really being his sort of thing, Audrey decided to take Alma instead of him, which annoyed him even more because it was his birthday present after all.

Honestly if there's any more of this Square Dealers nonsense in next week's episodes @merseytart is going to invent a time machine so he can travel back to 1996 and push Curly Watts off a railway bridge.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 weekdays from 14:50 and is also on the ITV Hub.