Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 12th August

 
Poundshop Gareth Southgate (Derek Milligan) is back, ready to flash the Gary's laundered cash and start the building work at the bombsite, I mean factory. Gary has sub-contracted the work to Ed and Seb is sniffing around for a job, which Gary approves. Seb and Gary have buried the hatchet (in Phelan?), but Sarah is not on board, calling Gary a "cheap little liar". Fair enough, really! But she later retracts her opinion as a) he threatens to get Derek to pull out of the deal and b) Nick and the "girls" tell her that she's putting their jobs at risk. She agrees to chill on one condition, that Nick makes the coffee. She should have at least got him to agree to a Costa cappuccino every day.

Jo, the Scottish businesswoman, offers Carla a job at her new online only business. Unfortunately for the actor playing Jo, Carla turns her down, at the same time telling Peter that she wants her boyfriend back and they make off in his cab for a lay-by off the M62. Romantic!

In dramatic irony news, Steve tells Emma he's sorry about her dad. In the absence of her mother, everybody's in loco parentis, Audrey, tells Maria to get down to the Kate Oates Memorial Hospital to keep Emma company. She finds out that on top of the stomach cancer, Emma's dad who is cast, but not named, has liver cancer and "a blockage", all of which means that his condition is terminal. Emma proves she's Corrie's current MVP by showing she can do tragedy as well as comedy. "I've always loved you," he says, "just like you were my own." Emma wants to know what he means but we cut to ads. Audrey's the one with a damp shoulder as Emma's mum (REVEALED AS FIONA MIDDLETON JUST BEFORE THE SECOND AD BREAK!!) confirms that Papa Brooker is not Emma's real dad. I hate to break it to you Emma, but your mum hasn't been in Australia, she's been in Boston (not that one) all this time.

Audrey gets Liz up to speed on the latest storyline and she says what we're all thinking: Emma could be Liz's grand-daughter! Steve's super-sperm strikes again - he should really wear three condoms when he's being intimate with a lady.

Look who's back! It's depressed Dev and aggro Asha, who haven't had a pukka holiday in India, although it must be OK as they've left Aadi there (there must be a good teeth-whitening company there as well). Anyway, it turns out that Asha didn't leave her room the whole time, and she's still a stroppy so-n-so. Dev gives some Mary some Indian Sweets (I bet he got them from Freshco's World Food aisle) and goes off to see the shop, although he doesn't find out about Evelyn's gambling den of iniquity until Tim lets slip in the hot-tub (as it were). He removes the special offer stickers (that Ruby spent so long attaching to the bottles of booze!) and kicks Evelyn out. This can't be the end for our favourite house-coated shop assistant! In the meantime D.I. Mary is on the case and says she'll get to the bottom of whatever is bothering Asha.

Robert and Vicky take advantage of son and pa being out to spend some quality time together until tetchy Ty and jealous Jed return and Jed gets all antagonistic, smacking Robert with a *KAPOW* worthy of Batman. Vicky wants her own peace accord with Robert and says she won't go back to Ireland if Robert comes up with the goods, and she doesn't mean a pan-fried seabass with roasted fennel and lemon with a sticky toffee pud for afters. Robert still refuses to commit, so Vicky takes matters into her own hands and stomps off to Weatherfield to confront her love-rival. Robert intercepts her and tells her the best thing she could do would be to go back to Macclesfield. Harsh! Michelle is back from her training course, or whatever, and Robert spins a new tale, based on the storyline truth. "Bet you regret getting involved now," says Michelle of the hypothetical situation. Too right.


Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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