Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 5th August

It's all about the money tonight as Gary is now earning enough from 2nd hand furniture loan-sharking to afford the rent on a flat on Crimea Street. Meanwhile, Imran complains about the tonsil tennis of Alya and Ryan and the male grooming routine of Craig and suggests that he and our Toyah buy Claudia's old new flat and offers under the asking price whilst knowing that the bail hostel that put Claud off moving in is now off the cards. Gary is pressured into hiring Ryan to look after the shop, who turns his skills from once-a-week DJ-ing and moodily wiping tables in the Bistro to turning a profit as he sells a desk to Mary. Unfortunately, some of Gary's sharking money is in there, and even more unfortunately (for Ryan) is that he lies to Gary, and trousers the money long before the desk sale. Meantime, the ever virtuous Toyah objects to Imran short-changing Claudia and says that they should tell her about the bail hostel. To be fair, she probably needs that extra £10K for Elnett.

Meanwhile, Robert tries to persuade Vicky not to leave for Ireland by promising her something more than the odd lunch-visit. I know Robert's a bit daft (he married Tracy didn't he?), but maintaining two relationships, especially in these days of social media, seems like a chef biting off more than he can chew. He and um, Tyler's dad, start squaring up to each other and Vicky asks them politely to leave chucks them both out. OOh, you could smell the testosterone from Balaclava Terrace..

Seb gets Fay(e) to pass a note to Alina at the nail-bar*, but when she texts to meet him, it's Nikolai who turns up and promptly bops him on the head. (if I were Rachel, I would use my very sharp, manicured nails to cut off a) Seb's man-bun and b) Jan's ratty pony-tail as a suitable punishment). Jan  persuades them not to murder Seb and drives the unconscious lad to A&E. Abi rushes to his side, as does his substitute-mum Eileen, not before Abi and Kev have shared a tender moment. Seb lies to the police but then finds out (via Dr Ali) that Jan brought him in. Eileen swears to get to the bottom of it.

*As the salon is cash-only, maybe Seb can get them on tax, like Al Capone.

More money stuff. Evelyn has discounted some poor sellers, which upsets Mary. She marches over and finds out that Evelyn is buying the half-price goods herself - although she must be the only person to have purchased tinned pilchards or luncheon meat since 1983. Evelyn threatens to set Cerberus on Mary and she is forced to leave. She tries to get Tim to be her Deep Throat, so to speak, but he can't find any evidence of insider trading. Evelyn has a new scam though; she knows Weatherfield County's goalie is out sick and uses this info to place bets with Mr Metcalfe. A cunning stunt indeed!

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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