Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 6th May

Mary plays bad cop to Dev's good as she hustles the children out of the house to their bank holiday exam tutor, and then she plays even badder cop as she discovers that Norris can't be on a silent retreat in Shepton Mallet because there are none (there are mediation retreats though) and admits to Tracy that she has a "feeling in her ovaries" that something's not right. She accuses Frieda of being a black widow (not the Avengers one) and of killing Norris. Finding the urn that Frieda's propped up on the sideboard next to a photo of Nozza and a pair of his glasses, Mary calls to him down the urn, is surprised by Frieda, and spills the ashes - which turn out to be the remains of Frieda's hearing dog - before fighting with Frieda in the street and shouting "Murderer!" at her in the pub.

Fortunately,  the murder victim rocks up in a taxi and a panama hat and aahh, I know he's not to everyone's taste, but it's good to see Norris again, especially when he proves that the bitch is back by refusing a drink from Sally because he isn't sure what she'd slip into it ('they're all "falsely accused"', he sniffs).

The upshot is that Norris and Frieda, despite barely tolerating each other when Emily was around, are engaged and Noz needs to get divorced and sell the house so that he and Frieda can start a new life in Edinburgh. Mary is upset by this and manages to persuade him to stay, although not before she discovers that her hubby has bought his fiancée a diamond bracelet. "Gold-digger!" she yells so loudly that even Frieda might be able to hear her, although Frieda can hold her own, reminding Mary about the time she kidnapped Norris. 'That was a short country break; it was a complete misunderstanding,' says Mary. 'I bet that's what they told Terry Waite,' quips Frieda. What with this and adding to the canon of Mary's mother stories (joining the Plymouth Brethren until there was an a argument about a stolen tambourine during the winter of discontent), Jonathan Harvey better be careful, Damon Alexis-Rochefort is after his comedy crown!

Another couple having issues are Geoff and Yasmeen and I say that the #CancelGeoff campaign starts here. Not content with hassling Yasmeen about sex, lying about his sprained ankle, Brian's broad bean incident, moaning at Yas for having a job (is this 1955), lying that Tim and Sal can't come over for a healthy curry because Tim has a dicky tummy, he then goes into a sulk because Yasmeen says his dumplings are flavourless. I bet they are. She apologises to him, but then finds out that Tim's tummy is un-dicky, yet still Geoff takes no responsibility for his childish ways, saying that it's all Yasmeen's fault because of her rivalry with Sally. Dump the man-baby, Yas! The only way is up (baby)!

Ches tells Gemma to take it easy in Prima Donner, which she unfortunately takes too seriously, spending the day sitting on the dloor watching 7Fast7Furious and getting Tim to make his own (healthy) kebab. Unfortunately he's caught in the act of making some change for Alya by Dev who, on finding out that Gem is up the duff, assumes the money is for nappies.

Meanwhile, Ryan depressed that he's no longer a DJ, buys a DJing magazine, so he can be depressed that he's no longer a DJ. Hmmm. Bethany tries to cheer him up by getting him an audition at a club in town, but he says he's rusty, so she buys him some records to practice with, but he doesn't have a record player OR A VERY GOOD ATTITUDE. Undeterred, Bethany asks Alya if Ryan can DJ at Speed Daal. Maybe Bethany's just trying to get rid of Ryan from the Bistro? Looking at his moany chops all day must get you down. Dr Ali agrees with me, telling Ryan that Bethany lurves him and to buck his ideas up.

Rachel Stevenson - personal blog

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