Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 4th February

 
Paul continues his flirtation with Billy and his attempts to get hold of Roy's mother's ring. He is successful with the latter endeavour and sells it to Big Garth (Jack Boswell from Bread) down the market for two hundred smackeroonies. Gemma, wearing a sort of glittery mohair hooded poncho, calls him out about it and he once again threatens to tell everyone about her "murderous" past - turns out that the woman whose house Gemma broke into died from a heart attack. They try to get the money back from Big Garth, but he tells them to do one so they break into his van, which they promptly get locked into. Paul starts hyperventilating and Gemma calls Ches for help and manages to get the £200 back from Paul at the same time. Chesney (who used to work on the market flogging dog collars, remember?) and Emma distract Garth and let Gemma and Paul out of the van, where they promptly fall over things. Anyway, Garth eventually lets them buy back the ring and the upshot is that Gemma and Paul bury the hatchet and Emma realises that she is on the wrong side of history and sets Chesney free so that he can woo Gemini, which he promptly does. So, I guess...it's a happy ending?

Abi tries to convince Peter to take her on as first mate when he goes sailing around the world (if that ship ever leaves dry dock, I will eat one of Roy's rolls). Tracy tells Peter to treat Abi carefully and not lead her on, so he tells her it's a strictly solo trip. However, the boat is far from ready and Abi reckons she can work her womanly charms on him between now and then. I hope Peter's paying her cash-money for her work on the boat and not just payment in kind.

Talking of money, Rita wants her investment back from Maria so she can buy the Kabin back from Norris but she decides against it as Maria says she's living the dream (tbh, it doesn't look that different from her previous life at the salon, but what do I know about the high-powered world of backstreet perms?) Unfortunately (for Reet), this gives B-Pac an idea and he and Cathy remember that a few months ago, they were interested in a shop, which Sinead and Daniel then took on and promptly forgot about decide they're gonna buy the Kabin.

Johnny's off to London to see Eva and Susie, leaving Jenny running the pub, which is a bit like leaving Liz in charge of a lycra factory. Strangely, Rita's antediluvian approach to mental health ("Put on a bit of lippy") hasn't worked and Jenny is still fragile and soon knocking back the chardonnay. Tracy and Abi wind her up and she loses it, chucking everybody out of the Rovers during the lucrative day-drinking time. She carries on boozing until Liz lets herself into the pub to do her very own "look here lady" speech. She makes Jenny a coffee and tries to talk some sense into her, but Jenny's having none of it and tells her to sling her hook.

No review next week as I'll be in Spain -  I'm going to find Andy and tell him to talk Steve out of the dumb adoption storyline.

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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