Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 15th October

It's a hospital special with both Ryan and Leanne recovering from their car "accidents". The big surprise wasn't that Nick is tending Leanne's bedside, but that he came back with the same head! He's like Wurzel Gummidge that one. Peter's a little bit sarky re: Nicks' return: "The mercy dash, the bedside vigil," he says with that special tone he reserves for Nicky T, the Baldwin to his Barlow. David's not that impressed either; "Where's he been for the last few months?" he asks. Doing voice overs for washing powder adverts? Unsuccessfully auditioning for panto? David volunteers to go to Dev's to see if there's any fatted calf fresh in, but Gail abandons her beloved grandchild for her beloved son and rushes off to see him. Leanne, strung out on morphine, tells Nick that she loves him, to Toyah's disgust, who tells him off for looming over Leanne. Later, Battersby Snr wakes up again and tells Nick to leave her alone. "Message received?" asks Toyah. Loud and clear, loud and clear.

 
Because 'Chelle loves to play favourites even after being terrorised by a gangster and having a son in intensive care, she is less focussed on Ryan's recovery and more on blaming Dr Ali for leaving her golden boy bleeding by the roadside and tending to Ronan. Robert knows better; and he's still trying to get Ali to admit that he murdered Ronan, to what end I don't know, but Dr Neeson is keeping schtum, even to the feds. Pretty surprised that D.S. MacKinnon is allowed to interview residents from Coronation Street given her f**k-ups with Caz and Maria and then again when Ken was pushed down the stairs. Michelle later apologises, but Ali is still unprepared to reveal his dark deeds.

Peter welcomes Sinead to the "dysfunctional family". She and Daniel know that they're not actually married, don't they? Tying the knot is not literally tying a piece of ribbon 'round each other's wrists, you have to sign the wedding register and all that conventional, boring stuff that Sinead hates, according to Daniel anyway. Vicky shows that it's like son, like mother when she mocks Sinead's community garden "wedding" complete with the smell of dog wee and tramps drinking. I know she's a bad'un, but anyone who takes the p out of Sinead is OK by me. Peter gets fed up of her teasing of his workforce, but equivocates that he can't sack her because if she's employed by him then Tyler's goons will leave our Si alone. Also because you have to give oral than written warning (except in cases of gross misconduct). Is Peter going to get together with Vick? It wouldn't be the first time that a couple who dislike each get rid of their grievances in the boudoir. Fortunately this isn't true in real life, otherwise I'd be getting together with Rod Liddle.

It's the Monday after the week before for Johnny and Jenny as she demands the details of Johnny and Liz's tryst(s). Rita gives young Bradley some sage advice, as is her wont. "What's love without trust?" But Jenny has her own wise words: "Rita goes to sleep alone and wakes up alone. You can't warm your feet on principles." As Eileen points out, Jenny does the age old thing of blaming the other woman rather than her man and goes to the flat to give Liz a piece of her mind; presumably she has some to spare. Liz turns up for her shift dressed like she rolled in glue and rolled through Peacock's, but you can't fault the old gal for chutzpah. On seeing her, Jenny re-applies her own lippy, but then goes through to the back and cries into her wine. Johnny says he was crazed with grief after Aidan's death and promises never to stay faithful from now on. Let's hope Alison King and Faye Brooks renew their contracts then!

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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