Freezer sex? Have a word with yourself.

Now I wouldn’t dream of stepping on anyone’s toes here, but after watching last night’s Corrie I was tempted to write an episode review on the Blog, without any full stops or punctuation. Because that’s what watching Wednesday’s two visits to the Street was like. It was jam packed. But as we already have our wonderful bloggers Ryan and Rachel on hand with episode reviews, I’ve decided to do something novel in order to get my head round what’s going on in Coronation Street at the moment. In the absence of anyone interesting to interview about it all, and to avoid the risk of any such interview being lifted by the Daily Star, I decided to speak to the only person I thought would be able to clarify things a bit for me and be of no interest whatsoever to the tabloids. So here's me interviewing me about last night's Corrie:

In a fit of arousal Robert became stuck on some dry ice

Q. Why did Michelle and Robert opt for freezer sex, when as owners of the Bistro they could have kept everyone else busy while they went home and bumped uglies in their own bed?

A. Don't ask me.

Q. Knowing what Michelle and Robert have been getting up to around the food they serve, would you eat in the Bistro?

A. Yes.

Q. But you agree it was all a bit silly?

A. Yeah, even the blue lighting to make it look cold was lazy. And those freezers have an emergency handle on the inside (my first job was in Pizza Hut - I know these things).

Q. Is the Kirk and Beth ‘spy’ story a bit naff?

A. Most definitely.

Eccles feeling a bit woof

Q. Were you disappointed that there weren’t more dramatic scenes from Eccles?

A. Yes. It was all over before it properly got going.

Q. How does David Platt know so much about religion?

A. You mean the catholic altar boys comment? Yeah that was weird.

Q. Are you getting a bit sick of Sophie Webster’s self-pity over brother Jack’s condition?

A. Yes.

Q. And wasn’t it odd that it was left to Ali to update Kevin on Jack’s situation in the hospital?

A. Yes but the NHS is terribly underfunded.

Q. Where's Mary's son Jude? Did he leave?

A. I can't remember / don’t care.

Q. Is it nice having the old Mary back?

A. Definitely.

Q. Why’s Craig never at work?

A. There are too many women after his time and body.

Q. Were you aware that Seven Brides for Seven Brothers wasn’t a porno?

A. It’s news to me.

FILTH

Q. How are you coping with the new World Cup Corrie schedule?

A. The fact England are doing quite well makes it less of a hassle.

Q. Do you think Corrie is becoming too preachy – with all the recent awareness storylines over mental health, grooming and sepsis?

A. I actually like it, as long as it’s written well.

Q. So did you enjoy Wednesday's double episode or not?

A. Yes I did. Very much so.

Q. You are a very confusing person.

A. Thank you.

Q. To summarise would you say generally Corrie is good at the moment but some of the less significant storylines lack an attention to detail you’d expect from the nation’s favourite soap?

A. You read my mind.

@StevieDawson

For a proper look back at Wednesday's Corrie, Ryan's blog can be found here. 

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