Coronation Street Episode Review New Year's Day

 
I've always felt sorry for people who were born on 1st January. Literally nobody is interested in doing anything celebratory on New Year's Day, other than eating leftover Quality Street and moaning gently into their hangovers. Not the Corrie lot though, they organise hen and stag parties for NY Day. Then again, I suppose they did celebrate New Year's on 29th December, so they've had three days to recover. Arlene (Sinead's mum) is back and has comically misunderstood the "flapper" theme and has dressed in thigh-high boots, cleavage-low dress, and stockings (slapper theme).

Whereas the boys are....the green man group? Cathy has also joined the stag group, somehow. Brian is feeling anxious about telling Roy he's moving out, whereas Roy is feeling nervous about slinging out Brian and so a conversation of misunderstanding concludes with a bestie fist bump.

Meanwhile Daniel has updated the software for the CCTV for the pub's beer-garden yard and also has to sort out a laptop for Beth's Now That's What I Call Sinead CD. I spy a contrivance! Daniel, like a  villain, explains his evil plan to the poundshop James Bond (Chesney): he's going to show all the hens the footage of Chesney doing a Tracy Barlow (c. 2007) with the brick, instead of the best of Sinead. Chesney, like a toy soldier, rushes in to stop the CD and knocks Beth to the ground. Collateral damage, ladies. Daniel didn't tell Ches all of his plan, which was that there was no CCTV footage of the brick incident and he just provoked Chesney into ruining the hen do. Ches comes to the realisation that he is "stupid and pathetic" and that he is going to lose Sinead.

Teetotaller-apart-from-when-the-script-demands-it, Alya is hangover-free and working. As is Luke at the garage. The putrid Parker brothers turn up (does nobody just sit at home watching Bond films on Bank Holidays?) and reveal that as well as racists, they are drunk drivers to boot. They have a flat tyre, which Luke reluctantly agrees to fix and the Parkers are horrid racists to him as well and end up with some well deserved punches from Luke.

Michelle's card is declined at the shop, witnessed by Steve, who later turns up to pretend that there was a discrepancy in the divorce settlement and he owes Michelle £10K. Michelle falls for it, although I bet Tracy won't when she finds out.

Have an amazing 2018, everyone!

 

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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