Greetings fellow Corrie fans and welcome to another weekly update. As it’s almost bonfire night, I thought we’d have a themed update this week. Read this week’s update at your peril wearing goggles and glasses and don’t go back to it once it’s been lit. And so with sparklers sparkling and Catherine wheels turning, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
There’s fireworks at the Barlows’ when Peter turns up with son Simon. Peter doesn’t know his son, doesn’t like him and he doesn’t really want him but Lucy was at death’s door when she asked Peter to take the little ‘un so he could hardly say no. But that doesn’t mean he’s happy about having to care for little Simon although Ken and Deirdre are overjoyed to have their grandson about. Deirdre even makes him a chucky egg, a phrase which pleased me no end. Ken gives Peter advice on raising kids the Barlow way so it’s just as well the phrase Psycho-Simon’s got a ring to it. No one’s engaged Simon in a game of ‘Simon Says’ yet, which is just as well as he hasn’t said a word, not even a thankyou for Deirdre’s chucky egg.
Speaking of Deirdre, she and Blanche head off to Lourdes with Deirdre a little concerned that she’ll be sharing a room with a lesbian Nancy. Sorry, that should read - a lesbian, Nancy.Norris is the talk of the wash house when he drops a bag of ladies saucy undies on the Street. Emily tells Rita who tells Tina in the Kabin and they gossip about Norris’ secret life as Eddie Izzard. A penny for the guy’s thoughts offered by Emily reveals that Norris has been entering and winning competitions instead. Last week he won the fizzy drinks maker, this week he won the frilly pants shaker. To help his winning streak, Norris goes all out and buys Marvin Spengler’s best selling classic: Stuff The Competition and Win! Win! Win!, in an episode that referenced Peters and Lee, Ken Dodd and a 1970s sitcom.
Becky gets a rocket when she’s arrested and charged with assault, theft, criminal damage, gunpowder, treason and plot. Steve says he won’t lie for her if the case goes to court which is what the copper is depending on, of course. He’s got history with Becky, has DC Hooch (damp squib of the parish), after he came on to her when she was just 16 and she knocked him back in the back of a cop car. He tries it on again and Becky knows that this guy’s burning for more. Bear with me, the firework references will stop soon, I promise.
Elsewhere, Kev and Sally are at their wits end worried about Wosie. Sophie says she’s got Rosie’s picture online and makes posters to help find her sister. She could’ve set up a Find Rosie Web(ster) site too on the Interweb(ster). Yes? No? Oh, please yourselves. Anyway, Rosie gets ready to rumble in the attic with a table leg in her hand and a determined look on her face. She’s ready to belt ten bells out of John next time he comes in. Meanwhile, Eileen sends John on a Streetcars job and Fiz finds his keys and phone that he’s left behind. She rings John to tell him she’ll feed the cat and John, knowing what Fiz will find, takes his terrified cab passengers on a journey they’ll not forget and if I were them, wouldn’t pay for. John screams through the streets of Salford with the old couple in the back of the cab, determined to get to Rosie in the house before Fiz does. He gets there in the nick of time to find Fiz fingering a pair of Rosie’s knickers hung up to dry in the kitchen, a worried look on her face. Fiz can’t believe what John tells her and she sets Rosie free but instead of falling into a tearful heap in Fiz’s arms, Rosie dashes straight out of the open door and runs out of the house. We can only hope that John’s passengers are outside still waiting in the car, wondering what their cabbie has got himself into.
Maria’s parents leave their distraught daughter on the Street and dash back to spend Christmas with their donkeys. Heartbroken Maria starts sorting out Liam’s stuff with tears in her eyes, but there’s a bang and flash of suspicion as she goes through his phone and uncovers a list of messages and calls to and from Carla. She also finds out about Carla’s involvement in LadRags - or LardRags for the outsize gentleman.
And finally this week, Kirk’s wearing his holiday shirt and a grin on his face as he announces to Fiz and Chesney that Cilla’s sent them all tickets to visit her in South Africa. Fiz takes some persuading, she’s not sure she wants a holiday full of sun, sea, safari and Cilla but agrees in the end. It’s bound to be a cracker.And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Peter Whalley, Jayne Hollinson, Jonathan Harvey, Damon Rochefort and Mark Wadlow.
Glenda
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