Monday, 18 February 2019

The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 19th and 21st August 1991

Curly received a poisoned chalice: more responsibility at Bettabuys in the form of being put in charge of their float in the Weatherfield Carnival.  He brought in Angie as a designer.  Meanwhile, in further proof that Angie is the best, she not only drank Newky Brown in the Rovers, but she poured it into a half pint glass, as is correct.  Vicky's plot to move in with her mate Belinda hit a snag when Alec talked to her parents and they made it quite clear they didn't want her.  She thought Alec had persuaded them not to take her and became distraught.  The big story was the antics at number six, as Des didn't return home after the disastrous day out.  Steph was upset, as while she knew the marriage was over, she didn't want him to suffer.  He finally called from the canal and asked her to meet him to talk.  When she told Des it was all over, he decided there needed to be a funeral pyre, and he blew up the boat...

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 23rd and 26th August 1991

Vicky ran off to see Anna Friel, trying to persuade her mother she should be allowed to stay.  Alec forced her to admit she didn't want a lodger.  Vicky went back to the Rovers and sulked.  She finally went out for a walk and ran into the McDonald boys, who persuaded her to hold onto their pirate radio gear.  I'd hoped we'd seen the end of that storyline.  Steph finally left, even though Des slashed her cases in an attempt to stop her, and reunited with her boyfriend on the platform at Piccadilly.  Angie had decided that the theme for the carnival float was "Horn of Plenty", because apparently Weatherfield Carnival was incredibly intellectual, with Reg as Bacchus and Curly as Mercury.  Don objected to Ivy being dressed as Goddess of Plenty and while I hate to support a sexist oaf I don't particularly want to see Poison Ivy in a teeny tiny toga.  The Bank Holiday in Gail's house was ruined when Nicky cracked David on the head with a cricket bat.  This explains so much.  Martin became irate when he got hassle at the hospital for not having the same surname as his own son and ended up proposing to Gail.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 28th and 30th August 1991

The Weatherfield Carnival gripped the attention of the Street.  Bryan Mosley's ongoing health issues meant Percy took his place on the Weatherfield Trader's float dressed as John Bull, alongside Betty from Emmerdale as Britannia.  Things went wrong when he was distracted by Phyllis and he ended up sprawled across Betty under a union jack.  The Bacchanalian Bettabuy float won the competition, with Reg directing Goddess of Plenty Vera Duckworth to grip the cornucopia.  "Grasp it firmly ladies, it's a horn of plenty!"  She was unimpressed - "They all say that."  They ended up winning the prize for Best Float, enraging Percy, who thought the prize should go to a British float.  Totally Brexit.  Steve and Andy let themselves into the vacant number 1 to broadcast their pirate radio, now with Vicky as another DJ.  Incidentally if you thought Tracy Barlow's patter was bad you should've heard Vicky trying to wreck the mike.  Alec heard them next door and thought they were burglars; when Bet realised who it was she scooted them out quickly.  The Gilroys were furious and Liz confiscated the radio equipment, so hopefully we'll never have to endure their cool dude chat again.  For the one and only time in her life, Gail declined an offer of marriage, telling Martin they were doing fine as they were.  Alma explained he wanted a bit of commitment.

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 2nd and 4th September 1991

Steph tried sneaking back to the house to pick up the last of her clothes but Phyllis was there.  Des came rushing round and pleaded with her to stay one last time.  She wouldn't be persuaded, and Amelia Bullmore drove off to become the borderline national treasure she is today.  Des took all her stuff up the tip and threw away his wedding ring.  Liz and Sally counted their blessings they had secure marriages.  Ahem.  Gail suggested that Martin adopt the children and she'd change her name to Platt, but Citizen's Advice pointed out this was a really weird idea and the judge would be hesitant to allow an adoption in those circumstances.  Reg refused to pay Angie's fee of £406 for the carnival float as, in a very 2019 argument, he believed she should be pleased to get the exposure.  She was naturally outraged and Curly went into bat for her, managing to get Holdsworth to pay the £306 expenses and then giving her £100 for her fee out of his own pocket.  She didn't want to put her friend out when it was Bettabuys who owed her money so, when Reg continued to refuse, Curly went behind his back and authorised the hundred quid from the company accounts himself.

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 6th and 9th September 1991

Alma persuaded Audrey to attend an evening class in Conversational Spanish with her.  Unsurprisingly Mrs Roberts ducked out the first chance she got, meaning that Alma was free to run into Ken Barlow.  He charmed her into sharing a glass of wine with him, while another lady on the course called him "dishy", even though he was wearing his jumper draped over his shoulders.  The auditors arrived at Bettabuy.  Curly's hundred quid payment was soon uncovered, and the wonderful Brendan Scott arrived to punish him, taking away a promotion to his own store and leaping at the chance to have a dig at Reg.  Curly reckoned Reg had set him up because he didn't want him promoted out of Weatherfield.  Gail finally caved and decided to marry Martin.  Human Bunion Ivy was naturally disgusted by this because it meant Nicky and Sarah-Lou might stop being Tilsleys; Don told her she was a Brennan now so she should let all this Tilsley business lie.  As Martin and Gail celebrated in the pub, Ivy plastered the least sincere smile in world history over her face.

Ivy's fake smile chilled @merseytart to the bone.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every weekday at 14:50.

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