Just another standard week in Corrie...

Toasted cheese mishaps, community flower wars, heads banged on concrete, copious close-up buttock squeezing, coppers packing underwear instead of heat and the Platts at war... another standard week was had by all in Coronation Street.

The main item on the menu in Corrie’s big week (aside from toasted cheese and toasted Lesley) was the culmination of the ‘Terry Duckworth is still a rogue’ plot twist. As he ambled around the Street trying to get his podgy paws onto Tirrone’s 9-grand, the only person with enough intelligence to see through him was, rather worryingly, Tina, which says a lot for the mentality of the other players in the storyline. With pantomime villain glares at the end of every scene and his usual unpleasant charm on show throughout, it wasn’t really difficult to figure out that Terry was less interested in a relationship with his son than Sunita is in monogamy.

Nevertheless, braindead Tommy spent his week faithfully taking on loan sharks that wouldn’t look out of place in a retirement home and pilfering money from his equally idiotic friends to pay off his devilish dad. This led to a rather painful experience (and an even more painfully executed stunt) for Tina as she fell over and bumped her head lightly, before falling asleep. This led to another trip to what must surely be a purpose built hospital set for Corrie, seeing as it has had to accommodate so many storylines recently.

Terry managed to get away with the loot as Tommy wisely took the angle of asking the man who sold him to choose between him and money...an ultimatum that would only ever have one result. Terry made off with the dosh and Tommy is now at the mercy of Rick the loan shark, which can only mean weeks of excitement for us viewers a la Joe McIntyre’s gripping saga...

Elsewhere, Lesley’s munchies for cheese on toast ended in calamity as she was killed by a toaster, joining the ranks of bizarre Corrie deaths alongside the likes of Anne Malone, Valerie Barlow and Edna the cleaner. This gave Paul and Eileen the unusual opportunity to think of themselves and they continue to argue over who is worse off. And the worst thing to come out of Lesley’s selfish encounter with a toaster and tap water? Poor Eileen still isn’t sunning herself on the beach abroad. Tsk. I nominate Lesley for next year’s soap award for Villain Of The Year...

Lesley isn’t the only person ruining others’ fun. Tina’s audacity in being rushed to hospital put paid to a tryst for Siren Sunita and Creepy Karl...but never fear, we were still treated to one or two glimpses of his aged hands groping her suddenly pert posterior. Sunita’s behind is featuring so much these days, that it has started to appear in the closing credits. And the couple could hardly be less subtle as they sneak off to enjoy extra marital encounters in the flat where Sunita was bound up and nearly blown up. You’d think Stella might notice what was going on but she has so much else on her plate such as Lesley’s death, Nick and Eva’s relationship problems and world hunger.

The only real saving grace of this week was the glorious return of Snobby Sally. I am relishing the prospect of her involvement in ‘Weatherfield In Bloom’ Sally is a fantastic character when she is in this form so throughout the misery of loan sharks, kitchen appliance deaths, infidelity and poor Eileen’s lack of a beach holiday, there might still be something light hearted to look forward to.

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