Written by David Lane, directed by Durno Johnston
Sophie updates her dad on how mum is having a grand time in France and how champagne tastes different there. Well, Sally always did have champagne tastes and now she’s got the budget to match. Kevin is jealous and still bitter by his wife leaving him. James thinks that people think because he works for charity, he’s a freak. Sophie wants to learn more about it.
David can’t understand why Kylie doesn’t take Max back since she has a home with David now, but Kylie avoids the situation. Later, Gail tells David that he doesn’t want to raise another man’s child, and David brings up Martin Platt – his father. Could Gail be anymore of a hypocrite?
Tracey is continuing her manipulation of Steve, and plays the victim telling him that she thinks it’d be best for everyone involved if she’d just quit the Rovers and work somewhere else. How about somewhere off my beloved street? Steve, of course soaks this up and even gives her the day off to give Becky time to cool down. Tracey tells Steve she’s worried about what Becky will do next. Becky – all doom and gloom – wonders how long this rowing is going to last. She finds that Steve has been talking to Tracey again and she’s still assuming something happened between he and Tracey in Blackpool. Poor Maxi shouts “stop shouting, you two” at the pair of them as they’re arguing yet again. It’s like Corrie’s entire audience said what it wanted to in the voice of a small boy. Max runs through the Rovers where David finds him scared stiff. Steve takes Max back but not before he says that Becky and Steve are always rowing in front of David. David looks thoughtful, that’s never good. David tells Kylie about the Max situation, but she seems not to care as much. David pokes his nose in with Becky and gets shot down. Later, Becky confronts Kylie and David and assumes that Kylie has winded David up about Max, only Kylie has no idea what she’s on about. She lectures David about staying out of her situation with Max and both David and Becky are left stunned.
Claudia tells Audrey that she suspects Marc has gotten her an expensive scarf from an expensive shop in town since she’s seen the receipts whilst snooping through his pockets. Audrey tries to be happy for her, but we all know Marc bought that scarf for Marcia. Speak of the devil-in-a-blue-dress, Marc calls Audrey and tries to arrange a meeting with her. Audrey lies and tells Claudia that she has to meet a client later, so Claud waits in the Rovers. Marc tells Audrey later that he misses the whole cross- dressing lifestyle and that’s why he can’t keep Marcia in the closet. Audrey tells Marc to confess to Claudia because she’ll find out one way or another. Claudia walks into Audrey’s and sees Marc in there with Audrey and looks suspicious. Does she think they’re doing the dirty behind her back?
Tina isn’t happy to hear that Graeme is waiting hand on foot to Xin and that he helps her into the shower. She figures she’s being selfish and Graeme agrees. Later, Rita tells Tina that Graeme and Xin look a little too happy together. Tina makes excuses for Graeme. Well, it is all her doing anyway.
At the factory, it’s become evident that Carla needs a P.A. How does she always need one, but not any of the other partners that have been in and out of Underworld? Frank thinks she should just promote Hayley to P.A. Frank goes over Carla’s head and unsuccessfully trying to promote Hayley to P.A. since she doesn’t want the job.
Meanwhile, Gary gets Kirk to lend him Underworld’s van without asking Carla since Gary’s is getting fixed and he has an order that needs to be delivered. He drives down Coronation Street and both Frank and Carla see him driving their company van and aren’t best pleased.
Mary and Norris’ search for the motor home has come up empty and Norris figures they should continue further, but Mary thinks her things are long gone. Tommy comes in and overhears this conversation in The Kabin. Feeling guilty yet, Tommy D? Meanwhile, Tommy’s trying to scrub it down by hand but it’s useless so Tyrone convinces him to get it done proper at least at mate’s rates.
Ken still isn’t impressed with their pottery teacher, but Deirdre is quite taken by him. She says she’s having a wonderful and the teacher makes her feel artistic and creative. Deirdre is so starving for any attention. Deirdre is on Cloud 9 after making a mug at pottery class, especially compared to Ken’s “fruit bowl” that James mistaken for “an ashtray for Deirdre.” Deirdre insists that James takes his tea in her mug. Only once the tea is poured in, the mug starts to drain from a giant hole in the bottom, then to top it all off, the handle disconnects and the entire cup falls on the table. Poor Deirdre as Ken (and the rest of us) laugh at her situation.
Written by Carmel Morgan, directed by Durno Johnston
At home later, David and Kylie argue over Max and Kylie shuts it down threatening their marriage if David brings up Max again. Becky excitedly tells Steve that Kylie doesn’t want Max and that it was all about Rat Boy. She figures David just fancies playing daddy for a bit.
On Tracey and Frank’s date all Tracey does is talk about Steve. Frank tries to change the subject, but it doesn’t work. Frank sulks because Tracey doesn’t want to go on a naughty weekend in Glasgow with Frank in a five star hotel. Tracey says it sounds great but she needs to stay for Amy. Frank thinks she just doesn’t like him, and prefers to be around Steve instead. Tracey accuses him of throwing a tantrum and Frank brings up Blackpool and figures no wonder Becky is upset. Frank thinks if she wants Steve back she should admit it. Tracey tells him that the last control freak she dated ended up with an ornament in his head. That’s a warning Frank, get out!
Back at the Rovers, rat boy and Kylie arrive and David winds up Steve, but Steve goes back “anything Kylie can do Becky can do better.” Steve tells David to get out once the insults start flowing, then Gail gets involved making matters worse as usual. Becky tells Steve they have to keep at it, or lose everything they’ve been through. Steve’s not so sure it’s worth the extra fight. Later, Tracey comes back to the Rovers after being “dumped” by Frank. She says she doesn’t want a relationship that’s too much work and feels sorry for herself so Steve gives her a red wine on the house. Later, when closing up Tracey tells Steve that Amy’s class is having a little concert and she wondered if he wanted to come. Steve tells her to count him in. Tracey admits to Steve that she’s made a pig of so many things (everything?!), and she’s got a list of regrets longer than her arm (and twenty men’s arms) but he and Amy aren’t on it. Tracey gives Steve a kiss on the cheek and wishes him goodnight to which he says “night” and looks guilty.
Aud lies to Claud telling her that Marc just popping in looking for Claudia. Claudia doesn’t quite buy it, but Marc persuades her to dinner. At dinner, Claudia is expecting to receive that expensive scarf from Marc, but instead receives a disappointing box of top notch chocolates. She figures he must have gotten that scarf for another woman. Later, Claudia shows Audrey the chocolates and flowers from the petrol station. Claudia thinks Marc might be a feeder as well as a cheapskate. Claudia indirectly accuses Marc and Audrey of having an affair but Audrey vetoes that. Claudia figures that Audrey is too “vintage” for Marc. Claudia wants to find the recipient of the scarf and throttle her until her eyes pop out.
Mary and Norris are delighted to see Mary’s motor home parked back on Coronation Street. They also notice that the rear light has been fixed and the home looks in much better condition than left it. They start to wonder what kind of psychological profile the thief fits. What kind of thief steals something and improves it, then gives it back. Norris figures the perp has twisted sense of humour and he’s absolutely correct. Mary tells Norris later how she’ll miss staying at Emily’s and Norris’ and their nightly routines.
Carla asks what Gary Windass was doing driving Underworld’s van, then sacks him. In the Rovers later, Carla is in there with Gary and Kirk. Kirk figures that the van would have just been sat there doing nothing. Carla disputes that it’s company diesel and company time. Gary slaps down a tenner for the diesel and insists she give Kirk his job back, and Sean helps team Kirk. Sean begs Carla to think of Maria and how she’ll have two kids under her feet now. Ha-ha. Carla’s icy heart melts for a bit as she gives Kirk his job back.
- Marc joking that he needs more wardrobe space than Claudia. Somehow, I even doubt that!!!
- When James sees Ken’s “fruit bowl” pottery and mistakes it for an “ashtray for Deirdre.” Ha-ha. Plus, of course the tea pouring through the bottom of the mug and the smile rubbing right off Deidre’s face as she tries to blame Ken for “breaking” her mug on the way home. Especially when Deidre utters her favourite lines to Ken, “Ken, DO something!”
- Mary’s attempt at being “Cracker” and coming up with breast feeding as the culprit behind why the thief stole her van – you know, attachment issues and such. “A surprising number of roads, lead to the breast.” – Mary
- Steve pulling David out of the pub buy his ear (literally) and Gail trying to defend him!
- How Marc asks Claudia for accessory advice and they both agree that more is more!
- Tracey to Frank: “The last control freak I went out with ended up with an ornament lodged in his head!”
- Steve referring to David as “Diddy Daddy David” and Becky calling him “rat boy.”
- Claudia: “There’s another woman. Not brighter, or funnier. Just younger and firmer – my most hated combination.” She may well be right, ironically.
- “Do you really want to raise another man’s child?” Gail is such a hypocrite!
- Does anyone actually know what kind of deliveries Gary is actually making in this van investment of his? It all seems so vague. Is that what the writers at ITV do when they can’t quite throw a character into a real job on the street, just say, “Give him a van! Sorted.”
- Why is David SO adamant about keeping Max?
- Claudia snooping through Marc’s pockets and reading receipts. Plus, those chocolates were lovely, but she can’t be satisfied! That woman is one piece of work!
- Is Gail’s cleaning job at Nick’s Bistro going to be front and centre from now on? It’d be much more fun if she were the cleaner at Underworld.
- What is a deep friend Mars bar? Is that exactly how it sound?
- Tracey is SO phoney!