Flaming Nora’s Corrie Weekly Update, May 3 2011

Greetings and welcome to the Coronation Street Weekly Update. This week the update is looking for full-time or part-time paid employment on its return to Sunderland. So if you’re reading this, like what you see and you think you’ve got a slot I can fit into  perfectly – and I mean that most sincerely – then do please email me and we’ll talk office biscuits and draw up the rota for the Friday cake run.  And so without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update. 

Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates and why they've been written for th'internet since 1995 at http://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk

I love Coronation Street. I’ve been watching it since I was little and I’m 5’ 9” now. I used to watch it with my mam and my grandma. Mam used to tut at Elsie Tanner’s cleavage and me and grandma used to tut at mam.  I’ve been a fan of Corrie for as long as I can remember, it’s been part of my life for more years then most of my family have.  But I’m not enjoying it any more. Not now, not for a while. It’s gone downhill and I know it’ll come back up but it’s so blinking dull at the minute I’ve been doing things I’ve never done before while Corrie’s been on TV, like walking out of the room or worse still, changing channels.  You’ll excuse me, therefore, if the update this week takes a cynical turn as it’ll be critical of Corrie more than usual although there were of course some wonderful highlights, glimpses of the Corrie I know and have always  loved.

So here we go starting off with the highlight that was Ken and Deirdre taking up an evening class for old crocks, pottery throwing.  Ken wants to sculpt an Etruscan Urn, Deirdre wants to make an ashtray so when Deirdre’s pottery teacher praises her to the hilt for her urn work, Ken sulks in the corner over the attention that Deirdre’s attracting for her talent. “He wouldn’t know an Etruscan urn if Tracy hit him over the head with it!” cries Ken, or Keith as the pottery teacher calls him.  Ken’s sculpture’s more flaccid, a limp little vase that you could probably stick a couple of carnations in if you were so inclined.

More highlights courtesy of the Barlows was the return of Ken’s gay grandson James, who he invites to move in, much to Deirdre’s chagrin. Ooh,  I don’t think I’ve ever used chagrin in a weekly update before.  Where he’ll sleep is anyone’s guess as there’s already a house full with Ken, Deirdre, little Amy and Tracy with her ten multiple personalities who all demand a room of their own.

A further highlight was Gail, desperate to cling onto her Nicky as he ventures forth with his new bistro.  She tries and fails to get the bar manager’s job and ends up as the cleaner instead. “I’ll just go and give the gents a good bottoming,” she tells Nick before scuttling off in her pinny.  But when Nick  tells her he wants her out of sight before the wine tasting evening, Gail pouts and feels put out, but them glams up in a new frock, and shines with the Chardonnay.

Shame on the sham wedding for making me  lose heart in Corrie and let’s rejoice that it could soon be over. Mary grasses up Xin and Graeme and they get a call from a wonderfully bumptious inspector from the UK Border Agency. They lie throughout their interview and pass with flying colours, Xin gets her visa and has feelings for Graeme while Tina smoulders in a bad mood and cool t-shirt behind the bar of the Rovers pulling pints with just an extra bit of bitter.  Xin flirts with Graeme and helps him with his window cleaning round and I know, I just know, I wasn’t the only one who hooted with laughter when she fell off the ladder.  Oh go  on, admit it, you know you did too.  Be gone, Xin, be gone. You were a waste of space and we really didn’t care.  “Love is a four letter word,” Tina tells the Border Angecy  inspector. “So is visa,” he replied. So is dull.

As this was a Bank Holiday weekend, Corrie took its outside broadcast crew to Blackpool again where Steve and Tracy rehashed an old storyline.  Amy went missing, Steve’s car got towed away and they all had to stay in a B&B overnight but hush, don’t tell Becky because she’ll go mental. Tracy makes sure that Becky finds out and yes she went mental, taking herself out on the booze for a binge and a bloke. She was wearing well, you know, an outfit that made the men of the nation go “Phwoar”.  I know my mam would have tutted.

Don’t forget, I really am looking for a job!

And that's just about that for this week. 

This week's writers were Simon Crowther, Chris Fewtrell, Mark Wadlow and Martin Allen. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team at:

http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2008/11/exclusive-all-current-corrie-writers.html

 

Glenda Young
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/