Corrie Corner 16th May

Oh dear. It’s like watching You’ve been Framed. You know what’s coming, but it’s still painful to see! John/Colin’s sitting there happily munching Jaffa Cakes with Fizz, totally unaware that Chesney’s visit to Charlotte’s parents is about to bring a whole heap of trouble to his door – literally.

Chesney’s face (as one incredible revelation about John’s double life after another came out), was an absolute picture. He was right though, when he said to Katy “Just because he’s not dressing up as Napoleon or eating lightbulbs, doesn’t mean he’s ok,” which I suspect this coming week will indeed prove …

There’s a lot going on at the moment. Is Tracy poisoning Amy, or is the little minx poisoning herself (or pretending to), in an attempt to get her mum and dad back together? If she’s her mother’s daughter, then God knows what’s in her mind.

Amy must be a deep thinker (she’ll get that off Ken), because she doesn’t actually speak much. Just as well really. She looked as if she was having to be poked by a cattle prod to prompt her to spit her lines out this week – which was probably quite painful.

‘Deirdre Dancing’ (a bit like Dirty Dancing, but without a rhythm or a tune), was great – as was Ken’s face! Poor Ken. He’s still simmering, but I’d be careful about what I did with my pots if I were Deirdre. I’d get ‘em locked up quick if I were her, as if Amy does prove to have Tracy’s mind, she’ll be reaching for a heavy object to bop someone over the head with before the year’s out, and one of her Grandma’s efforts will nicely fit the bill.

Graham burnt the Chair Sui pork. He’s burning his bloody bridges with the lovely Tina; stupid boy! Have you noticed how nobody in a Soap ever realises they’ve overcooked something until they suddenly go “Oh, the – ” then open the oven door to find it’s literally cremated? Don’t any of them have a sense of smell?

Some great expressions all round this week. Eileen and Julie’s faces when Sean sent Marcus packing in the Rovers! Sean’s great. Most of what he says is funny because no matter what his line is – in true Frank Carson style – it’s the way he tells ‘em.

See what I mean about guys hitting on Sian? Tommy got his come-uppance this week though (for now?), and YES, it meant we got to see Rosie, as she gave poor old Jase some serious grief at Eileen’s.

Rosie: “You are SO dumped. Get out!”

Jason (confused): “Well, no. I can’t really. This is me mum’s ‘ouse.”

Rosie (incredulous): “Could you BE any more petty?”

I’m gutted that Rosie’s not going to be in it for a while; it’s my highlight of the week watching her. Oh well. At least you’re never a more than couple of minutes away from a laugh in Corrie!

Sean’s “Pardon me all over the place,” Anna’s “Tess of the DUBBervilles” and Tracy’s “Amy’s writing is perfectly ‘eligible’ all made me smile, but my Grin of the Week this week is:

David: (about the customers' coffee stains)

“We could always paint them brown.”

Kylie: “Brown? This ain’t the 1970’s David.”

PS What were those coats Rita was wearing? Even an Eskimo would suffer from hot flushes if they were buttoned into one of those great things.