Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Thursday 2 December 2010

Fat Brenda's Cream Advent Horn


Hello loveys.

I've written a letter of complaint this week to Metrolink about their trams. I have never heard so much racket in all me life! I can't enjoy a Dunhill without one of 'em thundering past and shaking the cobbles.

They never used to be this bad, it's very annoying!
Another thing that annoys me is Michelle, Leanne and Carla being thick as thieves. What does it take for folk to flamin' fall out properly round here? Me friend Bernice borrowed me Sean Bean collection without asking and we fell out for six months, but here in Weatherfield it's all forgive and forget innit.

Leanne used to be an escort which eventually ruined her and Carla's restaurant idea. To rub salt into the wound, Leanne was in the flamin' boot of Paul's car when he smashed into summat and killed himself and left Carla widowed. Oh, and while all this was going on Leanne was with Liam who Carla later went on to fall in love with and began to see behind Tony Gordon's back. He found out and had Liam killed. Carla then found out about Tony killing Liam and then ran off to LA leaving Michelle - who had now lost two brothers - not knowing about Tony's guilty secret and standing by while he's involved in her nephew's life. Michelle then found out that Carla knew about Tony and then before you know it they're all flamin' bezzy mates and I haven't even mentioned Michelle's brief 'thing' with Peter!

Is it just me or would you be more annoyed loveys?

Mind you that's just Michelle all over. She forgave Sean for sleeping with Sonny behind her back and she's mates with Becky even though she had an affair with Steve behind her back! Maybe she's got amnesia and that's why she's forgotten about her 'real' son Alex an' all.

Apart from all that I've had Colin Fishwick's mum in the cab office asking if she can stay at me house and banging on about her angina - I don't even know who Colin flamin' Fishwick is! I've had John Stape stalking the cobbles like a bumbling Jack the flamin' Ripper and I've had Steve McDonald putting all our jobs at risk by buying a kiddy that he can't flamin' afford!

Still at least Deirdre's back. She's a bit too brown bless her but the reason she's not been around much is because she's been trapped in a UV sun-bed in Blanche's old room for a month! Ken didn't even realise until it was mince stuffed marrow night and Deirdre wasn't there to cook it for him. It was only then he remembered where she was and freed her. She does look well though in a tanned David Platt/ David Dickinson kind of way.

Has anyone noticed that when Nick's feeling pleased with himself his ears stick out a little more and glow? I only noticed t'other day and I can't stop looking at 'em now! He must have had some bad news tonight though cos his ears had drooped slightly and he looked a bit upset.

I'm sorry if I seem a little bit moody this week loveys but I haven't seen much of Eddie and I have to admit that I think I'm growing very fond of him. I found one of his old bandages on the chair in the corner of the cab office and I sleep with it under me pillow to remind me of him.

I'm going now loveys, I feel a little bit upset. Please feel free to tweeter me if you want me to cast me eye over owt in Weatherfield or even if you just want a gossip.

I've a feeling there's summat on the horizon loveys, summat BIG...but that could just be Rosie's ego.

Toodleoo loveys.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I absolutely LOVE Fat Brenda's posts!
Keep them coming Brenda - you always give me a good laugh!

Jan

Apple Cobbler said...

Fantastic post as ever Brenda! Really well written and very funny

Apple Cobbler :)

Fat Brenda said...

Thanks loveys. You've made me day.

Bren
x

Apple Cobbler said...

It's a pleasure Brenda, and if you did a weekly instalment that would be even better!

Cobbler :)

Fat Brenda said...

I'll try me best apple cobbler. xxx

Bren
x

maggie muggins said...

Hysterically funny, Fat Brenda, and all true! Makes my day every time and now I find myself looking for your posts!

Sea Penguin said...

Belting!

GRITTY SAGAS BY CORRIE BLOG EDITOR GLENDA YOUNG, PUBLISHED BY HEADLINE. CLICK PIC BELOW!

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