So, who lives? Who’s dead? We’ll find out this week. But one person I’d bet money on not to be reading the Christmas Radio Times this year is Charlotte and that’s because John Stape smashed her head in with a hammer. She’s stalking John, tells him she loves him and in a mad moment John lets her into the house when Fiz is at Leanne’s hen party in the Rovers. Charlotte – and by the way folks, never trust a woman who travels with her own mistletoe - has got John by the tinsel balls as she manipulates him and blackmails him. And as bad luck would have it, for Charlotte at least, there’s a handy hammer which John picks up in his anger and bashes Charlotte’s head in. Gory? Oh yes, but in that split second, where you’re thinking “Ooh, that’s a bit nasty” the force of the hammer blow knocks Fiz’s Christmas wreath off the Stape front door. So you go from hammer horror to Corrie comedy in one easy step.
As for Peter and Leanne, well it’s anyone’s guess if they’ll get wed next weekend. This week Ken caught Leanne and Nick at it, you know, it, in the back room of the Joinery where they were hoping to do a little joining-up work of their own. Ken calls Leanne to his headmaster’s office, giving Leanne 500 lines: “I must not be a strumpet” and marks her card. Mind you, it’s not the first time Ken’s caught Leanne and Nick at it, you know, it. Didn’t he fall through the ceiling onto their bed once, many years ago? Anyway, so that storyline was about Nick and Peter fighting over a blonde woman in a pub.
And over at the Rovers, we’ve got Owen and Jim fighting over a blonde woman in a pub. Jim tells Steve that he reckons Owen’s behind him being beaten up and battered and bruised. Lloyd warns Steve not to read too much into Jim’s words and to get more proof of what really happened but we all find out when we spy Owen paying Chris the builder in cold, hard cash, for lining up his mates to duff Jim up.
And finally this week, Tina gets a new job as a barmaid at the Rovers. She’s not been there five minutes and she’s already angling her body sideways to the camera, pushing out her cleavage and calling punters ‘chuck’. Give her five minutes more and she’ll be in tears in the back room, with Betty giving her advice on fellas over a fresh pot of tea and a custard cream.
This week’s writers were Mark Wadlow, John Kerr, Simon Crowther, Peter Whalley and Joe Turner.
Find out m
ore about the C oronation Street writing team .
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