Written by Jan McVerry, directed by Noreen Kershaw
Julie arrives at the Stapes to be consoled by Fiz and isn’t delighted to see Brian on the couch snoring like two pigs caught in a blanket. John tells her that Brian’s wife Margaret has kicked him out. Fiz says it matters not, since she won’t be seeing Brian again and whisks her off to work. Brian tells John about how terrible his wife Margaret is and how she kicked his friends into the tall grass one by one. This is no good for John as he’s trying to ply Brian off on some other friend of his, or back on his wife just to get rid. Brian puts his hand on John’s arm and tells him that he is his only port in the storm.
At work later, Julie mourns Brian as Fiz tries to get her off of his bandwagon! Fiz tells Julie that the connection was all in her head. Gee, she’d be an expert on that one. Fiz apologizes for being mean. Julie feels there’s a plan for her, and is afraid of turning into a bitter spinster like her sister Eileen. Julie says she’s lonely and she thinks Brian’s lonely too. At the bookies, John has to deal with Brian. Fiz and John try to call Julie a bunny-boiler to scare Brian away. Like that’d stop him!
Julie tries to find Brian at the Stapes and he pretends he’s not there, but he can hear every word she says. She says she and he are a good match and she doesn’t want to become bitter and twisted once she’s at his age. Erm, exactly how old is she? This “fresh start” talk all seems to change Brian’s mind.
Sally and Kevin are going away on a weekend trip to Madrid (how nice), and Sophie worries about Rosie bringing guys around all the time. She also feels that Sally is going to be watching their every move from her Spain. Meanwhile, Sally can’t understand what possessed Kevin to spoil her with a weekend in Madrid. Well, the last person that possessed him to do something was the devil, so who knows? Sally tells Rita that she’s worried about leaving the girls but Rita insists they’re smart girls and she needs this break. Rita says that she’ll check the house every hour on the hour.
Sounds like Rosie is going to be cooking dinner for some guy named “Alfie” and she needs to know how to make sausages. Rosie is forced to cook on her own as the other girls go to Roy’s. Oh, this has disaster written all over it. Rita checks in on Rosie and as she is, Rosie’s sausages are going up in flames in the cooker. Rosie screams when she leaves the door and comes back to the kitchen to find it engulfed with flames!
Gail continues her neighbourhood watch from between the slits in the salon blinds. Only, this time it’s not Deirdre for fodder, but the Webster’s as she criticizes the fact that Sally feels she needs two suitcases for a weekend trip! The nerve of that Sally Webster, over- packing. Gail criticizes the cleanliness of the blinds and ends up pulling them down on top of herself.
Tina is still worried that Graeme will exact revenge against David but Graeme says he’s complying to her. Tina figures that David has learnt his lesson and that’s good enough for her. As David is in the Rovers convincing Dev to stick as many spoons to his face as possible, Graeme walks in and David wants to share the joke with him. Only, Graeme gives David a frosty Tinaesque reception. Graeme tells David that he knows what he did and to stay away from them. David tries to tell Graeme that it was all a mistake and he never hurt her. Graeme doesn’t want to hear this and screams “you were going to rape her” and pummels David in the Rovers. They’re quickly separated by Dev and Steve while Rosie screams her fool head off in the background. Graeme gets booted from the pub after screaming allegations at David. Oh, Tina’s not going to like this. Tina says that his beating David was making her feel like nothing again.
At the salon, David gets frustrated with all that’s gone on with Graeme and grabs his Gran’s car keys and drives away. Audrey wants to call the police since David stole her car, but doesn’t. Gail wants to know what happened to her shiny fresh start out of prison since all is the same. As Graeme leaves for work, he’s struck by a car with David behind the wheel unconscious as both Ashley and Tina looked on in horror.
Claire excitedly tells Ashley that her mother is moving in with her new bloke and she’s moving into some lovely home in Brittany. Claire assures Ashley that they are moving to be far away from Coronation Street, not just closer to her mother and the move is still on, mon Cherie! Cherie is shocked that Claire’s booked a viewing and gives Ashley his orders. Claire is having trouble getting the boys together and is angry with Ashley, only it’s not Ashley but the couple there for the viewing.
Written by Jayne Hollinson, directed by Noreen Kershaw
999 was called for Graeme, and the police for David after Tina screams “it was David, he did it on purpose!” Of course, he did. Lloyd gets Gail and Audrey finds him and gets David out of the driver’s seat. Tina accuses David of trying to kill Graeme but David has no clue what she’s on about. He cannot remember anything that happened. The paramedics want to take David to hospital just to be on the safe side even though he insists he’s alright. Gail says that if they go to the hospital they might be able to see Graeme, so David agrees. At the hospital, Claire thinks that David should have been locked up a long time ago. Isn’t she the little hypocrite? In the exam room, the doctor thinks David might have a concussion and that he should stay overnight, but David dismisses that advice and seeks out Graeme and Tina.
Tina tells the coppers that David is a psycho and that she saw him hit Graeme with her own eyes. The doctor comes around and tells Tina about what a terrible state Graeme is in. How his ankle is broken and his rib busted through his lung and he has spinal injuries as well. They need to operate as soon as possible. Tina follows the doctor with David trying to apologize behind her. Tina threatens David that he’ll be going down for this, she promises. Another head-to-head between David and Tina in court? Oh, boy.
Meanwhile, Sian and Sophie are in shock when they returned home to find the kitchen burnt to a char. I’m more amazed and how she managed to get the fire out herself. Is that not almost near impossible? Rosie freaks out about what their parents are going to do. Sophie tells her that she’ll have to pay for them to redecorate, which Rosie squeals that it’ll be loads. Rosie says that she’s going to get one of her “hangers-on” to fix the place up. Those are the guys that are her followers that she’ll never date. Sophie and Sian laugh as Rosie tries to call all her hanger-ons and does NOT get the response she was expecting. Rosie goes on about how stressed out she is as she relaxes in her satin coat with a pair of cucumbers on her eyes. She figures her modeling career is over now since Alfie won’t give her the job now.
Julie asks the Stapes what’s happened to Brian. John tells her that he must have gone home to try and patch things up with his wife, Margaret. The Stapes were glad that it worked since Brian isn’t there. Only, he comes out from behind the door hiding from Julie the whole time. Fiz bangs her head in frustration against the back of the couch. Could Brian feel anymore UNwelcome?! The Stapes suggest that he get out of there since Julie won’t stop. Brian figures he’s better staying there and laying low until boiler-bunny cools off.
Fiz has had enough and when Brian leaves she grabs his phone and calls his wife, Margaret. She tells Margaret that Brian is staying with them. Fiz tells Margaret that Julie had a crush on Brian even though he told her he was married and that it was all her doing. She tells Margaret that Brian is in bits and all he wants to do is make it up to her. Remarkably, Brian gets a call from Margaret and she wants to take him back. The Stapes insists that he let her take him back and he tells her that he’s coming home. The Stapes shut the door quickly after Brian leaves and John is enjoying it all when Fiz is far from elated. There’s a knock at the door (bad sign, at the Stapes), and Fiz cries “no, no!” as John says he’ll get rid of him. Now, it’s Julie with a bottle of wine crying that she tried to put it all behind her but it’s no good. So much for having their couch back.
- John to Fiz, surprised the smell is coming from Brian, “I thought that was Schmeichel.” Fiz: “If I were Schmeichel I’d sue you for slander!”
- Brian: “How long have you been with Fiz?” John: “Three years…give or take.” Yeah, give or take…
- I’m enjoying Sophie’s new fringe…it looks a lot like this blogger’s own!
- The salon patrons moaning during David’s shampoo massages. “Oooh.” Gail to Audrey: “Did you teach him that?” Audrey: “No…no.” He’d read a book about it at college. Oh please, any of these women would just love to be touched period. No offence, Audrey’s Salon!
- Gail, spying out the blinds in the salon: “That Sally Webster, TWO suitcases for a weekend in Madrid? No wonder the polar ice caps are melting! When was the last time you cleaned these blinds?!” Ha-ha. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – I love post-prison Gail!
- Sian saucily grabbing Rosie’s bottom!
- Brian’s stinky feet that Fiz had to “ew” spray.
- How did David Platt get Dev Alahan to stick a bunch of spoons to his head in the Rovers? More importantly, how did two of the most obnoxious male characters on this show end up in the same scene together?
- David gets attacked by Graeme in the pub and Rosie just screaming like an idiot in the background! Hilariously lame.
- Holy Corrie disasters this episode! A bar fight, a house fire, and then a car accident! And that was all in the first half!
- How on earth did Rosie manage to get the fire out in that kitchen?! I’m shocked the fire dept didn’t have to be called!
- Wow, Fiz is getting just as good as John in concocting webs of lies!!! Boo.