Written by David Lane, directed by Pip Short
Gail asks a near-comatose David if he’d had breakfast yet. To which he replies that he’s going out for a walk. Is this like the time my dad said he was going out for cigarettes and never came back? (That didn’t really happen btw). It’s David’s court day and he doesn’t want Gail to come since she’ll do that “big teary eyed thing.” I’m SO glad someone else noticed it! Gail says she wants to be there for him, but David counteracts with “but you don’t want to believe me.” Blah, blah. David’s got his shirt on and Gail’s got her face on. I’m going to guess it’s time to go to court.
Graeme’s in a good recovery and is reading all of his cards. Graeme tells Tina that he’s a very lucky man to have her by his bedside to which she smugly smiles with eyes that say “I know.” Graeme questions Tina if she ever wonders if it really was all an accident. Tina reminds him of her preferred version of events. Tina wants to see David bricking it in court. Speaking of which, David is bricking it already in the court room waiting area and sees that Tina has shown up. He wants to talk to her, but Audrey restrains him from such potentially disastrous behaviour. It’s time to go in the court room and David faints and falls to the floor leaving his solicitor and Gran in shock.
Rosie is hot on the heels of her and Jason’s “encounter” yesterday since she answer the door for him in the morning in full make-up. I imagine she never takes it off and when it’s time to go to bed, crosses her arms over her chest and lies back into her coffin. When Jason has Rosie alone he tells her that yesterday was fantastic and Rosie gives him this sickening “well, of course” look. Rosie even attempts to give Jason sex tips like “if you would just relax you could pay more attention to what’s going on.” Wow, what a ribbing! Oh, wait, she says that she was referring to his modelling. If, you believe that. The kitchen job is complete and Sophie thinks that the only thing that’ll make their parents suspicious is the fact that they’ve cleaned up. Oh please, I’d know if a hair were out of place in my kitchen. Rosie tells Jason that she thinks they should keep things professional and Jason assumes he means because Sian and Sophie are upstairs. Rosie avoids him completely and has him seeing his way out. Later, Jason sees Rosie later and asks her for payment for the kitchen but she thinks she doesn’t owe him anything since she got him a modelling job and he got to see ladies in their panties. Yeah, that’s how the world works. Well, it kinda does but not so literally.
Oh look, Cheryl’s back on the screen. And with her beater husband. I pretty much forgot about these two until now. Chris comes around and Cheryl warns him about loitering around. Chris says she’s got tickets to the game tomorrow and wants to take Russ and of course, Russ over hears this and must go now. Oh, Chris, buying your kids with sweets. Chris manages to pull a “Brian” and sees that Maria is carting her baby and dropping her shopping. Cheryl witnesses this chivalrous deed and says to Lloyd that that is how Chris was when she first met him: prince charming, then he turned into a toad. That’s usually how it goes. Cheryl complains about Chris – again- and Lloyd looks as sick of it as I am. Chris takes another opportunity to flirt with Maria in Roy’s while Liz looks on. Liz tells her that she’s got an admirer there and says that pound to a penny, he asks her out. Chris later finds Maria at the salon and flirts with her again while looking for a hair cut as well. He asks her for a drink later, and of course she falls all over this, after tripping over her tongue.
Kylie tries to help out Becky but Becky’s in a bad mood and doesn’t need to hear Kylie’s issues with all of Liz’s about the new bar. She tells Kylie it’s stupid to take Max on holiday with her. Becky says that social services won’t agree to it, and Kylie says they won’t know about it unless somebody tells them. Kylie asks if it’d suit her better if she left Max behind to which Becky pauses. Clearly, Becky wants Max all to herself. Kylie’s really making of muck of her job at Roy’s. She continues to be gobby, insubordinate, unhelpful and generally unpleasant. Kylie makes it even worse as she steals money from Roy’s till. Steve thinks he was firm but fair with Kylie, but he looks a fool like usual. Since, Roy comes in and tells the McDonalds how Kylie stole money and Becky goes looking for her. She doesn’t find anything, however, since Kylie’s things are gone. She’s left a note with a “sorry” and another apology to Roy. She even writes that she stole the money since Steve didn’t give it to her.
Written by Simon Crowther, directed by Pip Short
As David goes down, Tina hurries over to convince Audrey that he’s faking it. If she hates David so much, why doesn’t she just move way? (please?) Tina freaks out when David’s solicitor comes back and says that his case has been postponed. Gran begs that Tina just go home. David goes to hospital and the doctor asks if he’s fainted again. David says that he has and feels like he’s underwater,then faints. He says that when he was driving the car the other day, he felt the same thing. The doctor says that it sounds as though he might have epilepsy. David needs a proper diagnosis, but David thinks this is his way to explain the crash. David takes the consult with a neurologist hoping it’ll help his case. His solicitor can do nothing but agree, since they’re grasping at straws at this point.
David busts into Graeme’s hospital room to tell the two that he has epilepsy which is why he hit Graeme. Tina and Graeme aren’t having it. Tina wonders if they could diagnose him with being evil. Back on the street, everyone is shocked to see David walk into the Rovers, even his mother. David says he’s at the pub for a quiet drink with his mum and gets Gail to go away. Ouch! She tries to back-track later and say she’s on his side, she only had a flicker of doubt. David says it’s “too late” and leaves her stood open-mouthed and watery eyed, as usual.
Lloyd notices Maria and Chris chatting it up flirtatiously in the Rovers over a drink and looks concerned. When Chris gets up to use the loo, Lloyd takes his chance and tells Maria all about Chris’s bad-boy behaviour. Maria seems shocked to hear this and thanks Lloyd. When Chris returns she makes up some excuse about Liam throwing up all over Michelle and that she must leave – immediately. Let’s hope this is a good getaway.
Becky can’t believe that Kylie just up and left Max and thinks that Steve should have gone after Kylie. Steve freaks out and says that he can’t stand the way that Kylie treats everyone and Becky still protects her sister. Steve tells Becky about the time he caught her with her hand in Becky’s handbag. Oh, and how she came onto him to try to keep him quiet. Steve is now forced to protect his innocence as Becky thinks he might have taken Kylie up on her offer. Steve says he doesn’t even like Kylie and that he asked her to leave but she threatened to take Max with her – forever. Becky realizes that everyone has been trying to help Kylie out, but that little cow took advantage.
Rosie sees sense (brief I’m sure) and goes to give Jason his money for the job well done. Well, the kitchen job. Rosie is upset because she can’t afford that handbag she wanted since she had to pay him. Is Jason starting to regret things? Uh, nope. His poor taste in women has proved consistent. Instead of showing up at Rosie’s with the customary flowers, he arrives with an expensive highly-coveted handbag. To which Rosie gets giddy when she sees it telling him to “shaddup.” Rosie’s enjoyment only lasts so long until she realizes that the handbag is a fake. He wonders who in their right mind would pay a grand for a handbag. Ha-ha. I suppose Rosie’s disappointment is triumphed by the sincerity of Jason’s act and asks him in. Seems like she only invited him in to argue over the payment she gave him. Rosie is hot and cold with Jason and soon thanks him for the handbag. Rosie tries to not-so-subtly insinuate that they should sleep with each other again since no one’s home. Jason almost makes her beg but, he of course, has nowhere better to be.
- Rosie ribbing Jason over what he thought was his “sexual technique” but was really his modelling technique. She’s such a bitch, but it was really funny. Especially the look on Jason’s face.
- Graeme: “If nurse McIntyre would be so obliged to give me a bed bath, she might be in for a big surprise.” Tina: “Not that big.” Graeme: “Oye!”
- Gail to Audrey: “So what’s the view like up there, mum? Up on the moral high-ground?” Lofty is my guess.
- Rosie: “It’s fake.” Jason: “Well, yeah, it’s fake. Who in their right mind would pay a grand for a handbag?” Ha-ha. (As I secretly shift my guilty eyes in another direction)
- Dev: “It’s going to be a long, long time before David comes walking through that door.” *In walks David Platt*
- Sophie: “Rosie, what are you doing with a face full of makeup?” Erm, what rock has Sophie been living under? When isn’t Rosie covered in makeup? Well, besides that time spent in Stapes Gran’s attic where she was barely recognizable. Besides, Sophie’s the one with “perfect bangs” in the morning.
- Chris is pretty Neanderthal-looking with that large brow and rather scary. What do women SEE in him? Totally uninterested in him, Cheryl and Russ. And even Maria if she’s going to fall back into another relationship with a psycho.
- The shade of of purple on Graeme’s eye isn’t really believable. Just thought I’d add that.
- Becky’s going on holiday, but she clearly has no idea WHERE she’s going.
- That repulsive Dev Alahan taunting yet another denizen of the street (David, this time) for being a dangerous nutter when it’s none of his business. How does no one else find him completely acerbic?
- Tina acting so brash and crazy eating that candy bar so nonchalantly as David is checked by paramedics. She’s about two aunts short of a picnic these days.