Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. The update this week is the first of its kind. It’s the first update I’ve ever written to you from my laptop computer. Yes, I’ve joined the 21st century and gone up market, high-tech and all posh. So instead of being locked away upstairs in the spare room chained to a computer I’m sitting downstairs on the living room floor watching the football while chained to a computer. It’s electrickery and I love it. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
To find out why these Corrie updates have been written for the internet since 1995, have a look here: http://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk/
Trevor and Carla returned from the World Cup this week. Trevor’s clean-shaven and had a haircut. He’s even lost his beard which was really creepy because without his beard Trevor looks like Liam Connor Lite, which is presumably what Carla really wants. She’s yet to find out that Nick’s driven Underworld underground and has opened Nick’s Nicks in its stead, a business that doesn’t include her. I wouldn’t want to be in Nick’s Nicks when she finds out. I hope she blinking well throttles him.
Another Rover returned this week when Sean comes back from Sitges via Old Compton Street. Well, you book Ryan Air and you can never be sure which route they’ll take. He’s all loved up and tanned and wants to find his son Dylan. He sets up a Facebook (sorry, can’t use that for copyright reasons so let’s pretend it’s called Facescene) account in the name and shape of Liz McDonald to get in touch with Violet Wilson online. Contact is made, pictures are exchanged and tears are shed as Sean’s in bits when he sees his son.
Lloyd’s in turmoil over Cheryl the stripper. She turns up with a black eye and he thinks it’s her boss that’s hit her but it’s her husband Chris, a nasty piece of work. Lloyd takes Cheryl and her son into his flat to look after her while nasty Chris roams the cobbles looking for his missus. Steve tells Lloyd he’s mad to even get involved but Lloyd’s fallen in lust.
Graeme and Tina’s love thang takes off so when Graeme breaks the news to David, he ties him to a radiator first. But when David gets angry, he gets really angry and he hits the Street with the radiator tied to his wrist after he rips it off the wall in his mum’s house. It’s a fair bet to say he’s not pleased with the news that his mate Graeme is dating his ex. David also rips the peaks from Graeme’s caps and the hoods from his hoodies. “She’s my Tina!” he yells at Graeme to which he replies: “Actually, she’s my Tina now.” Jason’s also not happy and locks Tina out of the flat before throwing her clothes in black bin bags to the street below. Thank heavens for first floor flat fall-outs, it just wouldn’t be the same if love went sour from the ground floor and bags were just handed out of the door instead of being flung from above. Graeme moves in with his uncle Derek but it’s too minging for Tina who moves in with Rita. I loved this bit, Tina and Rita sharing a flat, a bottle of wine and some of Rita’s memories. “Who’s that old drag queen with the hair?” asks Graeme when Rita shows Tina some old photos from her youth. “That? That’s Bet Lynch!” Rita replied. Graeme’s also had enough of life at uncle Derek’s and Emily asks him to move in to her spare room, news which doesn’t cheer Norris at all, not one bit.
Lewd Lewis gets randy this week with Deirdre in the back lane. I hope you weren’t eating at this point because it was real stomach-churning stuff. Deirdre invites Lewis and Audrey to a dinner party chez Barlow where her stuffed marrow is the talk of the night. Ken bores everyone rigid with his plans for a study in Blanche’s old room and Deirdre reveals that he once worked as an escort himself. Those who remember this storyline will also recall that one of Ken’s dates during this time died half way through the date which was probably preferable to a full night with Ken. Anyway, Deirdre flirts with Lewis and later in the back yard, Lewis and Deirdre share a postprandial fag and he tells her that she is (and these are his words, not mine, before you throw up) “ a very naughty girl”. Oh Deirdre, oh. But then, you can’t really blame her.
In the Rovers it’s Weatherfield’s Fairest Barmaid competition and Liz wants to enter. She pretends to draw straws to see which of her staff should be entered to win but the straws all say Liz and she puts herself forward. Not one for holding herself back, is Liz.
Elsewhere, Steve and Becky have a meeting with the adoption people at which they have to take along something from their past which means a great deal to them today. Becky takes a fluffy monkey and Steve takes Buster Tough Guts (of the Weatherfield Tough Guts), he’s an all-action figure, aka a doll. Anna and Eddie Windass also attend. Anna brings jewellery and is disappointed in Eddie who turns up empty-handed. But when it’s his turn to speak, he says the thing he’s brought is “our Gary in the army, defending the freedom of each and every one of us. My own Buster Tough Guts”. There wasn’t a dry eye on our sofa.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Mark Wadlow, Joe Turner, Simon Crowther, Jonathan Harvey and Carmel Morgan. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.
Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/
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