Written by Peter Whalley, directed by Duncan Foster
John’s excited about his teacher’s conference, and I can already tell this is not going to be a good idea. Typically, when you steal someone’s ID to work in the same industry you were last in, it’s best to keep a low profile. But, John always knows best. Even Fiz realizes that, and she only realized French was another language a couple of days ago. Fiz is still on about Chesney cancelling his exams and educational future in favour of selling dog collars down at the market, by which he’s already told her he’s doing better than her at in her own career. Oh, raising teenagers, not something I want to do particularly.
Could John Stape look anymore smug as he enters the teacher’s conference? Already his cover’s blown by Charlotte (remember the Sari wearing flake from Colin Fishwick’s last teacher’s party?) who immediately recognizes him. She asks him what happened since she thought he couldn’t teach anymore. He fibs that he’s working for the exam board. She figures that makes sense as long as he doesn’t come into contact with any of the kids. Since he’s such a pervert and all. John tries to walk away form her, and not very subtly. Charlotte takes no notice of his attempted disappearing act and follows him around like a bad smell. Charlotte has buddy-ed up with him for the day and suggests they sit in the back so they can have a snog if it gets boring – jokingly of course. The seminar looks quite interesting – NOT – I’d rather watch paint dry and it looks like Charlotte shares my view. Charlotte peruses the roster for the events and notices that Colin Fishwick’s name is on the list and wonders if he’s going to come all the way from “sunny Canada.” John figures it must be a mistake. *cough* Idiot *cough*
This Charlotte is so anal – she actually wants to tell the moderator of the seminar that he’s got Fishwick down by accident, but John stops her. Does it really matter? She’d be losing out on his dinner roll if she did. She asks John what’s going on, and John has no choice but to come clean. Woah, did you feel that? It’s the beginning of the slippery slope that John is on his way down. Charlotte is shocked to hear this, and wants more information. John tells all, and thinks that Charlotte is going to rat him out to the boss man, but she doesn’t. She seems to have had a change of heart regarding Mr.Fishwick/Dr.Stape. She used to think he was boring (he still is, just crazy to boot) and seems intrigued now. She thinks his scam is fantastic and she thinks that makes him the most exciting man in the room. Well, all you would have had to do was wear novelty socks to do that. Charlotte tells John that she’s going to keep his secret. I’m sure this is not the last we’ve seen of this sassy lady, as she’s already got her hands (figuratively) all over the New Mr. Fishwick. Oh, I never thought John would be a sex slave. *shudder* His terrible tale only gets worse.
Peter and Leanne are still at odds concerning Nick “face you want to slap” Tilsley. Natasha’s even borrowed money from her mum and dad to help finance Nick’s career moves. Let’s hope this doesn’t completely crash and burn, but knowing Corrie, it’s only a matter of time. Leanne finds Nick later and asks him what happened with Peter last night and Nick tells her that Peter told him that he didn’t like what was going on. No surprises there. All the while, Natasha is watching their conversation in the street from the slits in the blinds at Audrey’s Salon, and she comes out to wedge herself in. I don’t know if Nick has a “type” (besides “doomed”) or not, but her and Leanne definitely have a similar look, especially side-by-side. Natasha leaves, but not after snogging Nick in front of Leanne – who could care less, and Leanne asks Nick if Peter was drinking. Nick tells her that she wasn’t, at least not as far as he could tell and Leanne is relieved by this at least.
Deirdre tries persuade Peter not to get in any more rows with Nick Tilsley, but Peter makes no promises. Deirdre figures she’s already got Gail on her back, and she doesn’t want the entire Platt/McIntyre/Tilsley clan on her back. I’m getting so confused as to what to call Gail’s family since they’ve all got different family names now, so from now on, I’ll call all of her relations “Camp Gail.” Peter asks Deirdre if she still has contacts at the city office that can help him close down Nick’s operation. Later, Leanne tells Peter that sometimes he just has to forget what happened and move on. Peter really needs to get over this, it was like ten years go (or so), umpteen storylines ago, and one actor ago! Ancient history! Peter starts to get possessive, but Leanne lays it down: she’ll speak to whoever she wants, whenever she likes. Get it? Got it? Good! Oh Peter, now you’ve gone and done it.
Tina and Jason are back to selling their flat, and Tina thinks that Jason should be the one to show folk around instead of her. On her way to work Tina manages to flirt with Graeme before she starts her shift. All in a day’s work. Although, it helps that Graeme is oiling her with compliments. Jason complains to his mum later that Tina’s not happy with him, but Eileen thinks she just needs to be taken out for a good time. Haha, don’t we all? Tina takes Jason up on the offer to go out, then asks if he sold the flat. He says that he tried, but it was a no go. Tina gets angry and says he better try harder next time. Man, she’s stroppy!
Before their hot date, Tina and Jason go into the Rovers. They see Graeme there, so Jason insists they sit with him. When Jason’s getting their drinks in, Tina and Graeme have a chat and it’s clear Tina’s not looking forward to her date with Jason. Jason’s pretty cute, but he lacks some serious substance.
Lloyd is wondering about how the speed dating night will be at the Rovers, and Eileen tells him that she was thinking of going. Eileen assures him that she won’t be wanting to talk to him, not without pay at least! Eileen wants to know what’s going on with that Cheryl that Lloyd was fancying. Lloyd says it’s a long story and Eileen (nail file in hand) reminds him that she’s not going anywhere. Lloyd goes into the Rovers to get his speed dating ticket, finally.
At the Rovers, Michelle overhears Ciaran on the phone talking with someone about some bossy little so-and-so that he has to work with. Surely, thinking it must be her, she gives him funny looks. It’s probably Liz, but Michelle’s self-centered enough to think it must be her. Turns out that it was Michelle’s own mother – Mammy Connor – that Ciaran was talking to on the phone. Also turns out, that her and he share the same opinion on almost everything. Oh, I’m not so sure about that! Ciaran tells her that Mammy Connor told him all sorts of stuff about her – things he never would have believed. Oh, I could tell him stuff about Michelle Connor. Michelle falls victim to Ciara’s Irish charms just like every other woman before her, and after her surely. The flirting between Michelle and Ciaran is almost to heavy to handle. Ciaran teases Michelle that Mammy Connor comes to visit all the time, and the next time she comes she’s going to bring old pictures of Michelle. Uh oh, he’s going to know her plus two’s used to be plus one-point-fives.
- Deirdre to Peter, “You know, I’ve lived down this street for quite some time now…” Peter: “Yeah, well, we all have a cross to bear.” LOL
- Charlotte seeing Colin Fishwick’s name on the roster for the exam grading seminar and wondering if he’s going to come all the way from “sunny Canada.” Oh, only an English person would call Canada “sunny.” We get all of 30 days of sun per year, I’m beginning to get see-thru.
- I love Eileen painting her nails at her desk at work. I used to have this no-where job years ago, and I decided that it’d be a good thing to do that too until the men complained about the fumes. As if the fumes were going to effect their sharp cognitive skills or something. Pfft.
- Jason to Tina: “Have a sandwich, babe.” Eileen to Jason: “…and a good time.” Ha. That Jason is such a mummy’s boy!
- I’m sorry to all Stape-fans, but John Stape is an idiot.
- Fiz telling Ches that she wants him to do better than she has, and him saying “I’m doing better than you already” just by selling some dog collars at a flea market! OUCH! He’s got a bit of ‘tude on him.
- What’s with Jason’s style? Cut off work pants and what looks like riding boots? Was there a flood? Someone needs to get him Queen Eye for the Straight Guy ASAP. Is this what happens when Sean lives for but a minute?
- Peter continually being jealous of Nick Tilsley. Seriously, he’s not that hot, and he’s no catch. Peter’s so possessive, but Leanne’s not having it!
- When Charlotte considers John’s little scam, she figures it’s okay to keep his secret since he never hurt Rosie Webster and he’s not going to hurt anyone else. To which John replies, “Well, I hope not.” NOT A GOOD ANSWER! One HOPES they don’t trip down the stairs in four inch heels. One does not HOPE they don’t hurt anyone. You do NOT hurt someone. Ugh, *cough* idiot *cough*