Come in and shut that door tight behind you, let’s lock out the world and it’s just us two. Never mind her from number seven, don’t let her in if she knocks. It’s just thee and me, a freshly brewed pot of tea and a right good Coronation Street catch up. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
It’s all aboard the love boat this week as sailor Joe sets sail and hits the high seas. Well, no, he doesn’t. He takes what looks like a pan scrubber to the old, manky wreck (that’s the boat, not Gail) and despite Norris coming out to tell him to turn down the noise and we clearly see Norris unplugging the sander thing, Joe carries on regardless. Gail’s not best pleased about this boat lark but soon cheers up when Joe tells her it could be worth a mint when it’s done. Mind you, you could tell Gail that the fella who drives the Weatherfield Explorer is Simon Cowell and she’d believe you.
Over at Underworld, Rosie comes to terms with losing all her cash. And when I say ‘come to terms’ I mean she locks herself in the factory office and cries her mascara all over her face. She expects Tony to find the missing money and Luke but Tony tells Miss Rosie to get her solicitor on to it pronto because Tony’s got more pressing matters on his mind.
Yes, Tony’s in turmoil 'cos Carla’s returned. I wonder how long Corrie had to wait for a storm in a graveyard before they filmed the return of the Dark Lady? Or did the skies open and the graves threaten as soon as she walked back on set? Or was there a fella with a watering can and sheet of metal up in the trees waiting for the Director to call “Action!”? Who knows. But, she’s back and I know this storyline is really popular, I know, but I don’t like it because I’m not a Carla fan. It’s all: “Ooh Tony, I know you murdered Liam” and then it’s like: “Ooh Carla, but I’m marrying Maria and I have Liam’s baby and I’m tall, dark and handsome with a dodgy eye and what are you doing back?” and so on. I mean, I’m glad she’s back because Tony will be outed, the story will conclude and all will be well in Weatherfield, I just hate the upcoming weeks of what I know will be filled with lots of “Ooh Tony” and “Ooh Carla” and Maria crying on Mammy Connor’s best Irish linen, as surely she will.
Anyway, for those who are enjoying this story and want to know what happened, here it is: Tony called Jimmy the hit man and asked him to kill Carla. Jimmy went to Carla’s flat and tried to kill her but Miss Scarlett thwacked Professor Plum with a candlestick in the living room and thought she’d killed Jimmy but he was still alive. However, Tony told Carla that Jimmy was dead, covered him with a blankie so she wouldn’t see him still breathing, and advised her to leave for LA quick sharp, which she did.
Down at the Kabin, Norris takes on another new assistant. This one’s called Joan and after the talkative Sheila Wheeler, Joan’s a bit quiet. In fact, she’s stony silent. Norris is reaching desperation point and needs a conversation with someone, anyone, even Kirk, that’s how desperate he is, but Kirk isn’t. Anyone else notice how much Joan looked like Liz’s Vernon?
And finally this week, good old Aunty Pam spots Molly and Kev kissing in the truck and has a word with her niece who at first denies all. But there’s not much you can put past Aunty Pam, bearer of talking Faberge eggs and ham past its prime. She knows Molly’s having an affair with Kev Webster and tells her to tell Tyrone. Mend it or end it, our Mol.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Martin Allen, Chris Fewtrell, Simon Crowther, Peter Whalley and Stephen Russell. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.
Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates
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